Family members and neighbors tend to drop by all the time uninvited. They will show up during dinner time, or our coffee time. This is constant!! Our food bill is getting outrageous. They don't even bring us a gallon of milk and they know I have children. On a typical day we go through a gallon of milk and that is without the company. I've tried saying things like, kids eat your food and don't ask for anymore because I cooked just enough. Some of these people will just sit themselves at my table even before my children sit down. Some won't leave until I give them at least coffee. We've eaten our dinner very late waiting for them to leave. It's ridiculous. One of them, who is an older man and is very well to do, goes through my kitchen cabinets, my refridge, etc. looking for snacks. I have locked our cabinets and changed the snacks locations to no avail. I've even ignored the door. They'll bang on my windows!! I've been blunt, I've been rude. Nothing works!! Help!!!
2007-03-26 05:59:48 · 14 answers · asked by Doll 101 6 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
We had this same thing happen to us. We run a business from our home and more often than not employees and family members plunk themselves at my table for coffee with no regard to my schedule or finances. I am a work at home, homeschooling mom of 4 busy boys and this got to be a real problem. We call these drop bys 'Home Invasions'. I LOVE Jaybirds response - by far my favorite so far. A solution like Jaybirds did work for us. Here is what I suggest...
1. When asked "what's for dinner?" from a guest reply with "I don't know, where are you taking us?"
2. When coffee is expected say, "Sorry I'm out of coffee but if you pick up and can on your next 'home invasion' I'll be happy to brew up a pot."
3. Feed the kids in front of them. I actually had an employee sit his butt at my sons chair during dinnertime and I told him to "move it or lose it - this ain't your mama's house". This was said with a smile on my face but with a tone that told him I was serious.
I have found that approaching this with a little humor goes a long way. Funny and snappy comebacks keep it light while getting your point across. You don't want to be rude to family even if they are rude to you. 2 wrongs and all that...
Another reason this was really hard for us to overcome is our religious beliefs. The Bible says that if anyone comes to you asking for a glass of cold water you should give it to them. Maybe if you have the same beliefs you should pray about it. Perhaps God will give you more money for food or a bigger table. Maybe its possible to turn this bad situation into a ministry opportunity. I don't know. If religion isn't a factor in your life then please disregard - I'm not here to preach just offer an opinion.
If all else fails have you ever thought of buying a dog?
2007-03-26 07:01:44 · answer #1 · answered by kandj 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Years ago, my mother cut out a Dear Abby column, the person had the same problem (and so did we). The woman had come up with her own clever plan.
She took the dishes after everyone was done and put them on the floor and then let the dog lick everything clean. She then put the dishes away, directly into the cabinets.
People stopped their mooching visits.
My other suggestion is that because this has been going on for a long time, you will need to re-train all of them. When they are at the door, do not let them in when it is close to dinner time. Stand firmly at the door and say, "I'm sorry, we have a new rule. This is our dinner time right now and we are not accepting guests at this moment. Please come another time when we are not eating".
Good luck.
2007-03-26 15:42:25 · answer #2 · answered by aivilo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that is very rude on there part,
If I call a friend and their eating I get off the phone right away.
If they come i uninvited, jut ( may be rude as well but it works) eat in front of them and if they ask, jsut say, No I don't have the money to buy more and I need to make sure my kids are taken care of first.
Be a b*tch about it, and if they gget butt hurt, let them know why you HAD to be so rude.
Good luck! REALLY
2007-03-26 06:19:35 · answer #3 · answered by danksprite420 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Lock the door. Don't let them in. Leave a sign on the door that says u don't want company and if they don't leave u will call the police.
2007-03-26 07:24:17 · answer #4 · answered by missgigglebunny 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you should give them a taste of their own medicine, bring your children to their house during dinner time and see if they like to feed a bunch of hungry mouths, and then after dinner tell them you all should go out for dessert and stick them with the bill.
2007-03-26 06:11:13 · answer #5 · answered by Jaybirdpride5 1 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Tell them to get out NOW and not come back without an invitation! Etiquette & good manners does not mean you have to allow other people to walk all over you. Draw your lines and don't worry about how rude you might come across.
2007-03-26 08:07:33 · answer #6 · answered by Sheriam 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would put a sig on your door " No Longer Accepting Uninvited guests".....if they are being rude, so can you. Don't even bother to answer the door. And yes, if they get stupid, then call the police.
2007-03-26 06:10:06 · answer #7 · answered by M 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I would put a note on the door and tell them not to knock my children or I were sleeping and that they should call before coming to your home again.
2007-03-26 06:08:55 · answer #8 · answered by Cat D 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
when ever they go to visit.. just let them know what days they can visit you or even call before going to your house.. or just when ever they show up in your door be like i'm sorry but we are about to go out..... or we are having family time and when ever they go to your house looking for snack let them know that they can't just get what ever they want be.. tell them that what you have its for your family and that u don't have enough money to be buying snacks everytime. or just let them know that you just made food for u guys and that you did not make enough to invite them to eat with you guys
we had the same story of yours going on in our house. my ungle who and his wife don't like spendin money not even for food so he would go to our house every day and eat there or would be like what did u guys make for dinner or so and he would be eating with out asking and we are a big family its my parents and me and 5 brothers so we buy just what we can for us so him and one of my aunts would go and eat and visit a lot and we did like for them to go but we did not like the idea that they would not even spend $40.00 on food or so cause when we would go to there house we would not even look at what we would find to eat but one time my mom was like i want you guys to do the same think in there house but when we did the the kitchen was empty there was nothing.. no snacks no meats no nothing just a little box of cereal and not even half a gallon of milk.
2007-03-26 06:30:58 · answer #9 · answered by Nancy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep your door locked, and if they bang on the door say, "Sorry, no company today." and leave it at that.
Edit: and if they have to be stupid about it and won't leave, then call the police.
2007-03-26 06:06:44 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋