This is a serious question and a good answer would save my life!?

Question

I am 18, and pregnant (i know thats not good) but my boyfriend threw out all my birth control and blah blah blah (long story) i have 3 1/2 months to get a liscence (which in NC you have to have proof of insurance) a car, and a house to put over our head because i am not allowed to stay at my moms house with a baby (dont ask about my dad because I dont know where hes at) and my boyfriend (babys daddy) andi want to keep it and im trying to get a good job that doesnt require colllege (i know its a mess) plus to amke it harder, my boyfriend doesnt work. now people, i am not the type to give my baby away or abort it. I believe there is always a way and if you dont beleive in me, dont comment.

Answer 1

I was 18 when I had my Oldest daughter, and I had no help from her father whatsoever, and adoption was never a thought in my head, or abortion!!! So "Good For YOU!!! For doing everything to make a roof over this babies head and looking the other way towards people who think your crazy to be doing this!! Your far from "Crazy" I can tell already that your going to be a "REALLY GOOD MOM!!" Sure when your young its hard having a baby, and you go through some things with those friends who dont have kids, that's when you seperate yourself from them and hang-out with those who are in your same perdicament, you know.. who wants to hang out with people who dont 'Support' you on this anyway, you know!! As far as working I worked until I was so far along, that when I went to reach up to get the styrafoam cups I thought I had pulled something, and that's when I was forced to see a doctor, and here I was saving my money at 18 to pay for my own thousands of dollars for the delivery!!! But was forced to go down to the welfare to get insurance to see a doctor, and to help me to get on my feet, and I did just that, and after she was born when she was 2, I went right back to working again and paid my own way for all of her clothing you name it, she didn't have to want for anything!! We didn't have alot of money, and her grandma on her daddy's side helped us with furniture and things like that, but her dad, was a "Jerk"!! As soon as he found out I was pregnant he "Bailed!!" And moved away and informed all of his friends not to tell me where he lived!!! And it just broke my heart!!! years later he came around and started being apart of her life, but was just in & out of her life when she was real little.... You can always go back to college when the babies born and have your hands on husband help you with the babysitting, and getting your so he does serve as some purpose and save you two alot of money!! I would even work part time, or full-time when the baby is born, and go too school part-time, and have him do the babysitting, if he's not going to help you financially!! My gosh what I wouldn't have done to have a "Free" babysitter when I was working when my daughter was a baby!!! The babysitter took half of my money, and I hardly had any money for the bills, and clothing for her!! but every extra penny I had went to her, not me!!! So, you'll be fine and one day you'll look back to these days, and say to yourself: "Man I was so strong as a new mom and a young lady!!" You'd be surprised what haveing a child at a young age will do to us!!! And how strong we become as women!! And its better to have them while your young than older in life anyway, this way you can enjoy your 30 when she's all grown up you know!!! Enjoy, honey and just take it one day at a time, and pray if need be, join a church!! They are more than happy to accmidate and help especially the "Pentecostal " types of churches, dont go to a catholic one, they told my girlfriend to put her baby up for adoption!! Mean hoh!!?? Go to a supportive one, who will be there for your little family, and who will give you some moral-support through all of this.....My church had all of the women make "pre-made" dinner's for my whole family for one week, so that I could rest and not have to worry about cooking, when I had my oldest son!! And that's how these "Pentecostal churches" are honey, and they may even throw you a babyshower!! A really nice one!! For all the things you need for the baby!! That's just how they are!! They threw one for me!!! Smile!! Just look them up on Yahoo Yellow pages for churches in your area first then for pentecostal ones, next!!! And call them and find out what time their services are!! You wont regret it, I promise you this!!! Smile!! The "Best of Luck to you & your's hun!!! Everything is going to be just fine, you'll see!!!

Answer 2

I was 18 when I had my first child. First of all, does your boyfriend have a license and a car? If so, I would worry about getting your own car after you have a job. He needs to get a job also, why is he not working? Maybe you could get a job close enough to your house that you could walk to it until you have the money to get a car? You are going to have a really hard time, I believe that you can do it, but you have to take it step by step. You should have started preparing before now. You have had 9 months and are now down to 3 months. I will tell you this also, I don't know what you think the "type" to give their baby away is, but I will tell you that it is someone who loves their baby so much that they can put their baby's needs ahead of their own. A very selfless person that wants the best for their child. They are not giving their child away because they don't want it, they are doing it because they love it so much. I think that you should consider it. If you choose not to, that's fine too, but it is an option and if you need more info on it or keeping your baby, I will be glad to talk to you. Good luck.

Answer 3

I agree with the others who say "where there's a will, there's a way". I, too, was a teenage mom. By 18 years old I had two children. It was a struggle having children so young without a college degree, but I made it and now my kids father and I are married (6 years)and doing well. My children are now 13 years, 11 years, 4 years, and 6 months old. In the beginning I had to go on public aid for a while, but I made up in my mind that I will not stay there. It helped me get to where I needed to be. Though I still lived at home with mom, I was treated as an adult tenant because I had to pay rent and buy groceries and other personal items (I'm glad because it taught me responsibilities). The cash assistance I received help me pay rent and buy neccessities for my children and me. The stamps helped me buy groceries. My children's father had to get a job at a warehouse which was also a huge help. This allowed me to get my GED and take a trade in computers. I have now been off of welfare for 9 years, have my own place, a car and my family is doing wonderful. I say this to point out that there is help out there to be used as long as you want to do better. With the right mindset and determination, you can do it girl just hang in there and remember "you can do all things through Christ who strenghthens you". I am now a Christians and find this to be true to me (this is not a religious message, but my personal opinion-don't want to offend anyone). There so much more I can share with you if you want.

Answer 4

Well honey, it sounds like you have a good idea of what you are needing to do. I know that being pregnant,even under the best of circumstances, is very hard, scary. If I was in your shoes I would worry about a roof over my head, and a job before the car. Use public transit. I would also inform my boyfriend that he had better get a job too because you will have to not work for about 6-8 weeks after the baby is born and you will need some form of income during that time. If you need to chat with someone my email is [e-mail]
Good Luck and God Bless

Answer 5

Listen you are a woman, you are one of the strongest creatures ever made. I used to stay in NC, so I know how the license situation is, and actually I didn't have to have a car, just proof of insurance (drivers insurance) My cousin didn't even have a car when she first got her license..but that may have changed. Your boyfriend is just going to have to get a job.Understand this, a good job with no college is not really going to happen. So what I suggest is find a job, and possibly go to school online, or at a community college, and learn a skill or trade. If your boyfriend has family, see if maybe they can watch the child for you sometimes, and honestly I think your mother will come around when the baby comes...they cannot resist their grandchildren once they see them. I don't know what part of NC you are in, but I know in Charlotte, they have some really nice affordable living apartments, and it's not even in the projects. Also, just get liability insurance for the time being(the state minimum) But the thing is your boyfriend must get a job, its not just your responsibility its his too. And if he threw out your birthcontrol, he should definitely be taking care of the situation. I know you can do this, and if you are concerned about childcare, do what I did. I used to work in the morning and my boyfriend worked at night, about a year ago though I was able to quit my job because he got a better one. Also post resumes on monster.com and careerbuilder, and snag-a-job, check with your local newspaper for jobs(you can look online), and even try temporary agencies, that can find you temp-to permanent positons. A lot of times in newspapers people are paying good money for nannies, some offer m-f work, and a good base pay rate and some allow you to bring your child with you. Also I would try for WIC which you should be on now, and it even gives you formula when the baby is born, and the best thing for you now too is Medicaid, but you have to take it to your local department of family and children services department with your proof of pregnancy from a doctor, so that you can get free doctor visits and free labor and delivery
And when your baby is born you can put your child on medicaid as well. If you need any other assistance I think it might be called dss in north carolina , contact them. Don't be ashamed of assistance, just use it to get yourself on your feet.Good luck

Answer 6

Good for you in keeping the baby. I was 18 when I got pregnant too. It can be done (now happily married with my 2 year old and a 2 month old!). He needs to buckle down and really look for a good job. Construction is hard work but it can pay very well. He might need to work two jobs. You job right now is to try to figure out how you can live. Talk with a bank and get a budget when a job is in play. Following a strict budget helps a lot, it isn't easy but it is needed in your situation. Find a one bedroom apt that you can afford. I don't now your area but I know in Va Beach it is expensive and my husband and I could find one for about 500 a month. It was still a lot but that was the cheapest we could find. I assume that NC isn't much better. Find a cheap car that will work and doesn't need a lot of work and shop around for insurance, remember the cheaper the better (just don't get in a n accident!) If your mom isn't supportive (sounds like not) then talk to his parents to see if they are willing to help any. Talk to WIC and they can give you other government programs that can help you. There is help out there and you can do this. Congrats!

Answer 7

I'm not sure what your question is but, Get a job, tell your loser boyfriend to get a job and save all the money you can to get a place, if he doesn't (and soon) get assistance and move out on your own. You will have a new baby and don't need his dead beat butt around too. He basically put you in this predicament and he needs to grow up and show some responsibility. Or just take him to court for child support to get it. Don't wait for a really good job. Just get one ASAP and look out for other opportunities. Also I wouldn't worry about the licsence until you can afford the insurance. Try to find a Job and Daycare close to home so you don't need a car. There are lots of things you can do for yourself and your baby. It will be hard, and you will have to grow up fast. But you can do it and be a good mom if you really want to.

Answer 8

You will survive and your baby will be fine, mark my words!! Where there is a will, there is a way, sweetie and it sounds like you have the will. There is a TON of assistance out there that you can get being a single mother. Look into programs that will help you, such as WIC and look into getting Section 8 housing. There are some nice deals with Section 8, but just make sure that you get into a semi-nice area. As for getting a car, is there a way that you can take public transportation for a while? Or does your boyfriend have a car? Also, not to be rude, but your boyfriend needs to step up to the plate and get a job, it doesn't matter what it is....he needs to help you. I feel very sorry that you are in this mess, but there are a ton of other women who have gotten through similar situations. You can do it, just keep faith in yourself and keep working hard to make it happen. Best of luck to you.

Answer 9

Your first issue is your boyfriend. He threw out YOUR birth control, but he doesn't have a job to support the baby. I don't know the details here, but it kinda sounds like you need to figure out if he is worth keeping. If he hasn't been responsible up to this point, is he really going to be a responsible parent? At this point, you are not just thinking about your well-being but your child's as well.

Getting a job and a place to live are the easy problems. Most counties have a job and family services department. They will help you find a job, get training for a job and help you provide for your family. Oh, and a single mom without a job can easily get financial aid to go to college.

Good luck. I hope this helps.

Answer 10

Not sure what your Question is....??
But anyone can make it at any age. A baby really changes your life and you (both)need to grow up a lot.
You can not blame him for throwing away your birth control.(You know if your taking them or not.)And there are other methods that he doesn't even need to know.
I believe you both need to head to plan parent hood. He needs to step up cause (I guess he wanted a baby). Without a job I would sign him up for the military and Maybe that will give you child support (I don't think he'll be around for you long).
There is a lot out there to help you. But please be an adult(cause you are) and don't abuse the system. They are out there to help you not give to you forever.
Please wait for your next child till you or your boyfriend can say you are husband and wife and financially set......................And your minds are on life not which pill he took or you missed.
If you are asking about the car insurance. I think that is the last thing on your mind if you have NO ROOF.....

Answer 11

I dont know what this job is called, but you dontr need college to do it I think. My mom went to college for being a teacher and she quit that, and now she give people food stamps. I think its called like, "Department for community based services". But it brings in pretty decent money, not alot though. And try to convince your boyfriend to look for a job. And maybe you should start out with an apartment. Go looking around and find a pretty cheap one, but one that has what you need. And Im glad youre keeping your baby. Im only 16 but I wouldnt get rid of mine if I had one when thiings werent easy because thats not right. Good luck!