Is it wrong for a straight girl to go out with a bisexual boy?

Question

I'm 15. I'm going out with a bisexual boy. That fact that he is b isexual is not an issue to me. We really get on, have loads in common and he treats me really well. But my mom found out and she wasn't happy. She said that it was wrong. She said that it's okay for me to be friends with him but she's worried about me dating him. I'm not going to take the relationship any further as I am not ready for sex but my mom said that going out with him is asking for trouble and that people will bully me because so many people are homophobic. I don't know what to do. I really like this boy. Is it wrong for a straight girl to date a bisexual boy and why?

My mother is not homophobic. She is just worried that I will get bullied. I think that he is a virgin and I'm not having a sexual relationship with him. I'm too young for that!

When we were just friends he told me that he was not gay and that he was definately bisexual.

Remember, I'm only 15 so it's extremely unlikely that the relationship will last for more than a few weeks, I'm not expecting it to. And no, I'm not shring him with anyine else and we're not sexually active.

I'm 15 and he's 14. We're english, in case you wanted to know :)

I lied to my mom today and said that he wasn't bisexual to get her off my back. She believes me but I feel so guilty for lying. If I tell her the truth I will have to dump my boyfriend and I don't want to. He said today that he'll never leave me, especially for another boy. I trust him fully and I didn't think that he would leave me for a boy anyway but my mom won't listen to me so I've lied to her when I came back from school and said that he wasn't bi. I don't know what else to do.

Answer 1

Here is something I have learned from my gay friends. It is more plausible for a woman to be bisexual than it is for a man. If a man claims to be bisexual, which they say isn't even possible, then he is lying to you. In a gay man's world, or even a straight man's, you either like men or women, but not both. That is what all of my friend's have told me concerning that subject.

Hope it helps. Honestly though, he is probably not as into you as you are to him. I might rethink that if I were you.

Answer 2

No, of course it isn't wrong unless your heart tells you it is, which doesn't sound like it is the case. Forget your mum - yes she may be worried but at the end of the day it is not up to her. It's your life and if you really love him and are prepared to accept the fact that he is also interested in guys then you should not let anything or anyone stop you from being with him. If you dump him because of your mum even though you still love him then you'll never stop regretting having done so. Remember, bisexuality may have been around for years but it has not been accepted for years and older generations are not always as open-minded and understanding about these things, but if she sees that you are happy then she should come round in the end.

Answer 3

There's nothing wrong with it. Are bisexual people only supposed to go out with other people who are bi?

My friend went out with a bisexual boy, and she is very much straight. Yeah it didn't end so well - lotsa crap going on in his head meant the relationship was more trouble than it was worth - but nobody I know had problems with it beyond worrying that he was upsetting her. And it doesn't sound like your boy is like that.

I think your mum needs to give people more credit - it's most likely that nobody will be bothered by the fact that he's bisexual. If she's worried about him dumping you for a guy or something, then that's daft because if he was straight he could do the same, only with a girl rather than a guy.

If you're only fifteen (and you sound pretty sensible and realistic for a 15 year old) then it's not like you're gonna marry him or anything, so just enjoy going out with him while it lasts!

Answer 4

If you are cool with it why should you call it off because of other people's attitudes?

Sounds like your mom is worried because she doesn't know what it means, is he going to have boyfriend(s) while he's still with you? Are you going to share another boyfriend with him? She will be worried you are going to be dragged into his loveless, perverse world of STDs.

If you end up talking about the bullying thing again just tell her you care enough about him for it not to matter... this is NOT really her main concern so afterwards try and reassure her that your relationship is just as it would be with a straight guy. An idea to make it easier is to tell her that you were a bit worried too at first, that you thought he might get bored of just being with you and not having a boyfriend or something like that, but now that you've settled into the relationship you are completely happy with it.

Answer 5

There's nothing wrong with it. What is this about worrying about STDs because he's bisexual? Are you people living in the 80s or something? You are not at anymore risk of an STD because he likes guys too than you are if he were straight. You're mom needs to learn to trust you and that you'll be safe if and when you do have sex (right?!). Plus, if she says it's ok to be friends with him, dating isn't that far off, especially if you're not having sex yet. She should be able to cope with this once she gets used to the idea.

If you really like him, that's all that matters. People need to get used to diverse types of couples. That's only going to happen if more people stay strong and not be afraid of what other people think. Follow your bliss, that's the important thing!

Answer 6

I don't see anything wrong with it. I am a bisexual woman but I'm married to a straight guy.

I can see your mum being a bit worried about you being bullied but attitudes towards sexuality are changing all the time - when I was your age I didn't dare tell anyone I was bi!

There are health concerns that men having sex with other men don't always play it safe and do tend to have a higher number of partners and so statistically do have a higher prevalance of STDs - HIV being just one. I think anecdotally this is especially true of younger gay and bisexual men because they think HIV is something that happens to older people. But like you said you are not ready for sex with this guy and you sound sensible enough that if you were you would insist on condoms.

Answer 7

The fact of the matter is that-as much as we have progressed in society, there are still people that think similarly to early man- homophobes still exist. Explain how you feel to your mother, and hope that she understands. If you make it clear that there will not be sexual activity because you're not ready-that will be good, but the problem lies in the fact that there are people that aren't as accepting as you and that may cause problems--she doesn't want you to be hurt by that.

Kudos to you for being progressive and understanding. I hope everything turns out well for you and your boyfriend. I know that there are people out there that assume that all bisexuals and homosexuals have AIDS.. and those backwards-thinking people are the ones that make AIDS harder to control through their ignorance.

Ignorance spreads disease.

And, also-condoms condoms condoms. When you decide you're ready for sex-use condoms, even if you're in a stable relationship. You see all these people that post questions about their cheating spouses-they all thought they were in monogamous relationships.

Answer 8

I really dont think theres anything wrong with it. Yes you may be at risk of STD's if he's done anything with other males or even females but you risk that with just about anyone. The point is he is bisexual not gay. He can have a thing for both males and females so as long as he really does like you I dont think theres anything wrong with it. As for the problem with your mom. Well I think she just might be scared because maybe she herself is a little bit homophobic?

Answer 9

Ok. Here is the dilly-yo. He probably isn't bi. He's probably really interested in men only, it's just that he hasn't fully come out of his closet yet. My guess is that you will fall head over heels for him and about the time you get too close, he'll drop the gay-bomb and you'll be left broken hearted. If you're straight, stick with the straight. You need to take care of YOU.

Answer 10

You need to tell your friend to PICK A TEAM and play there.... I know u say he is a virgin still ... and so are u.. so nip it in the bud... be his friend only.... ur mom knows one day he will have a gay experience and then go with a girl... do u know thats how a woman can get aids... its actually so gross to me to share a man with another man.. later on not now... I know.... just that u will get hurt if he will leave u for a dude... just dont play with fire ok.. be friends only...