Can someone help lift my spirit?jokes inspirational stories crazy funny something.......
2007-03-26 05:14:08 · 13 answers · asked by luv2hate 2 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
a guy walks into a restaraunt and ask the waitress...
guy:can i have a cup of coffee? not to hot but not to cold.right in the middle
waitress: any thing else?
guy:yes, some bacon...not to greasy but not to dry...right in the middle
waitress: any thing else?
guy: yes i want some steak....not to pink but not to brown...right in the middle
(the waitress is getting frustrated)
waitress: any thing else?
guy: yes i want some toast not to burnt but not to soft....right in the middle
(the waitress slams the order pad down)
waitress: you know what... you can kiss my ***! not on the left cheek...not on the right cheek....but right in the middle!!
lol...i hope that cheers you up!!! let god bless you with a good day!
2007-03-26 05:29:06 · answer #1 · answered by xxxskankalicousxxx 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
sure, i got a chuckle out of this:
** WHAT IS THE DEFINITION OF **
Amnesia?...What did you just ask me?
Apathy?...I don't care.
Bigotry?...I'm not going to tell someone like you.
Egotistical?...I'm the best person to answer that question.
Evasive?...Go do your homework.
Flatulent?...That question really stinks!
Ignorance?...I don't know.
Indifference?...It doesn't matter.
Influenza?...You've got to be sick to ask me that question.
Insomnia?...I stayed awake all last night thinking of the
answer.
Irreverent?...I swear to God, you ask too many questions!
Narcissism?...Before I answer, tell me, don't I look great?
Over-Protective?...I don't know if you're ready for the
answer.
Paranoid?...You probably think I don't know the answer, do
you?
Procrastination?...I'll tell you tomorrow.
Repetitive?...I already told you the answer once before.
Self-Centered?...Well, I know the answer, that's all that
matters.
Suspicious?...Why are you asking me all these questions?
2007-03-26 11:41:43 · answer #2 · answered by Garbo's snowflake 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I heard this, this morning...Hope it gives you a little lift!
Kentucky Fried Chicken (KFC) is making a special lunch menu for Liberals.
It's called the "Hillary Clinton Special". Two big thighs, two small breasts, and a left wing.
Did you get a little smile???
2007-03-26 06:19:41 · answer #3 · answered by bob P11 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How a pair of shaggy dog tale! ****you will no longer flow to penal complex **** a guy who have been caught embezzling tens of millions from his enterprise went to a legal professional in seek of protection. He didn’t % to flow to penal complex. yet his legal professional informed him, "Don’t concern. You’ll in no way might desire to flow to penal complex with all that money.” And the legal professional grew to become into precise. while the guy grew to become into despatched to detention center, he didn’t have a dime. daybreak legal professional! virtually all time they're precise.
2016-10-20 11:55:00 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Change your space, drink a glass of orange juice, eat an apple, take a shower and go roller blading, listen to rock and roll, don't know your age, I recommend MSG, FIREHOUSE, WARRANT, ETC.
CAN YOU JUMP ARE CAR BY THE WAY,
I CAN. :)
Get a puppy?
2007-03-26 05:21:54 · answer #5 · answered by Firedogfire 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
how do you tell michael jackson from a shopping bag?
one is made of plastic and dangerous for small childen to play with, and the other is used to carry groceries.
2007-03-26 05:18:53 · answer #6 · answered by Homestar Runner 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Wife says to her husband "I wish my breast's were larger". Husband says "why don't you try toilet tissue"? Wife says "Toilet tissue. You mean you want me to stuff my bra"? Husband says "No, no, no, use the tissue to rub between you're breast several times a day". Wife asks." Now how is rubbing toilet tissue between my breast going to make them bigger"? Husband says "I don't know, but it worked on you're butt".
***SPECIAL NOTE***Doctor says husband will recover, but may never be able to have sex again.
2007-03-26 05:55:35 · answer #7 · answered by Steven H 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey !!! Its me talkin , and guess what ?
Whoever made you feel this way can gargle a horse teabag !!!
feel better ??
2007-03-26 05:19:05 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Three guys walk in to a bar...
The fourth one ducks.
2007-03-26 05:16:34 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 2⤋
How many ho's does it take to screw a light bulb? 1,2, many
2007-03-26 05:17:03 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋