I was played by a really nice guy, if you could imagine that. Found out later he had a drinking problem and had a domestice violence charge when he was married. We were really soulmates, I fell hard, really hard for him. Since he was genuine in some things, it was really hard to spot his game. I've finally managed on my own to break off all contact, which I am really proud of myself. But now I am facing this void inside of me on so many levels. How did you recover your self-confidence after? Did you manage to regain trust in relationships? Have you found a guy that treats you nice?
2007-03-26 05:02:16 · 13 answers · asked by stargazer 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
One thing -- It takes time.
2007-03-26 05:07:15 · answer #1 · answered by Faye ^___^ 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It takes a lot of time to get over that, if ever. Take time to be on your own and really figure out how you want to be treated in a relationship. Don't just jump into a rebound. Look for red flags and be honest with yourself if your new interest displays them. Don't let yourself get involved with another emotionally unavailable guy even if you think you are soul mates. It will also be easy to settle for someone who really really likes you and is nice to you, but you're not really into him. DO NOT settle. This always ends badly. The right guy will come along. Just be patient until then.
2007-03-26 12:15:23 · answer #2 · answered by fleurhelp 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry hon. I feel your pain. I was in love and engaged to be married to a man who turned out to be a lying cheating alcoholic who took all my money and left me damaged. Cheers to you for cutting ties. That can be one of the hardest steps, but the most important for your mental & emotional wellbeing.
The only things that can help you heal are time and a good support group. Until you are completely comfortable being single and alone, another relationship won't work. I stayed single and dated casually for an entire year before I committed to another man... and I went into that relationship with my eyes wide open.
Friends friends friends. Real friends. That's the very best medicine. Surround yourself with people who love you and think you're fabulous... it will be easier to see yourself that way.
There's a fine line between "trusting" and "being walked on". So yes, I've learned to trust in my relationships, but I've also learned from my mistakes. And if it looks like I'm being taken for a ride again, I speak up.
Good luck to you. You're on the right track...
2007-03-26 12:19:09 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It will take time, but eventually things will be better. You need to be positive and be yourself. You will regain trust in other relationships, but right now you need to grieve. I have found a nice guy, or should I say that he found me when I wasn't looking. Don't get me wrong we have some problems, but I think that comes with every relationship. Good Luck.
2007-03-26 12:09:11 · answer #4 · answered by Sunshine 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its a problem for many. It was for me too. Sometimes you get into a relatiosnhip to find out that you been played or worse hurt. As result, your confidence and trust fade away. However, I later on learned that people are not the same and just as many evil people are out there just as much as many nice one too. So don't let this incident close your heart for as nice guy who might come along
2007-03-26 12:37:55 · answer #5 · answered by EDD 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all this is not a "nice man"; he is a cad of the first order and a married cad to boot.
Look it is not your fault. He is a liar and a cheat; you are not.
Do some things for yourself. Go out with friends and perhaps you will meet someone. Try eHarmony or Match.com (I met my husband on Match.com 10 years ago).
Next time you are thinking about getting serious with someone; investigate them on line. You can do this for about $30 or $40 and it saves a whole lot of heartache.
2007-03-26 12:07:24 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is the time to see what your made of girl.
Reflect on what you have learned about yourself with this guy. Do you give your heart too soon? Did you give yourself so soon that you did not allow him to prove his worthyness to you? etc. BELIEVE me I have made the same mistakes and so have so many other women. I still there are good men out there that will appreciate a good woman.
Stand strong, face forward, heart in hand and be yourself.
Good luck. :)
2007-03-26 12:14:25 · answer #7 · answered by no cutesy name : ) 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been in relationships with i thought were nice guys but were players, and now i'm married but i have the biggest problem with trusting. And i dont know how to trust any more.
2007-03-26 12:10:08 · answer #8 · answered by babylove 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well good for you for getting out of it before he turned that violence on you. It is hard to recover after that....my husband played me and left me with 4 kids. I have a instant distrust for men now. I have to conciously force myself to see the best in people...but keep my eyes peeled for signs that I missed. It's not easy but don't give up. I absolutely believe there are good guys out there.....
2007-03-26 12:09:50 · answer #9 · answered by Clarissa 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men that are too good to be true usually are. The one mistake you made was loving someone else more than you did God adn yourself.Yeah it hurts but it's time to let it go and move on with life, go do some things you like doing on your own, go enjoy your own company
2007-03-26 12:09:47 · answer #10 · answered by Khalil 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You were single when you met this guy....you can do it again..it sounds like you already have a lot of self respect because you left the guy. You live and you learn..maybe next time you will see the red flags sooner...
Time heals pain. You will trust again..don't worry
2007-03-26 12:08:44 · answer #11 · answered by Bad Mood 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋