I am 17 and you may well think - dude you have the whole life ahead, don't be stupid. I have had so many sexual partners over the last two years that I even as a teenager stopped counting. Once or twice a week is normal for me and usually with different girls. But now I stopped enjoying it... and seriously considering the "no sex before marriage" whilst it may be a common thing in USA, I live in UK where I am yet to meet a guy that took this decision. Is it really worth it? How do I know that after I get married I will no get bored again? How do I know that I will be compatible in bed with that person? When you commit to such a thing what are you allowed to do - like shower together or even be naked around each other? How can I stick to this? Will girls around me think I'm a weirdo when I refuse sex!? Please help it has been bothering me for the past week and I can't decide...
2007-03-26 04:49:27 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I just can't meet the right person and the longest that my relationship with a girl was 2 months and I get bored. Bored of her bored of us together bored of sex. Is making love and sex different? Why the girls around me want it finished as soon as possible? Why don't they want some care and loving and most do it when they are drunk? Would they not do it or regret doing it if they weren't drunk? Are they all so immature or am I just "too" mature for my age?
p.s. I deffinetly not got no STDS thank you very much!
2007-03-26 05:09:45 · update #1
"Sex also becomes exciting on exploring the bodies of partners. Have you tried foreplay. "
How many 16-17-18 year old girls wanna do that really?? They all do it for the sakes of doing it and I only met one girl ever who was into that and apart from that cutting veins thinking suicide - just not my cup of tea!
2007-03-26 05:12:46 · update #2
Hi. First of all, I do not think you are stupid at all! Waiting till you are married is not as common as you think in the USA. I've lived here all my life and it is a rare thing to find...but in my opinon, a very respectable thing to do. Alot of it depends on the person also. With your having many sexual experiences as you have, and as intelligent as you seem to be, I'm assuming that you have practiced safe sex? Maybe you need to just take some time..away from sex...and just really think this through and perhaps talk to an adult that you can talk to about anything and that you respect their opinions. Maybe a parent, relative, close friend of the family or even a spiritual leader depending on your faith. I really respect the fact that you are even considering waiting, and just because you've already had sex it doesn't mean that it's not important anymore because it is. It's all about how you feel and what you feel comfortable with so you can be emotionally(and physically) healthy. Ask yourself if you think that 10 years from now that you will regret your decision if you do decide to wait for marriage. You seem to be re-thinking some things and maybe you have lost some of your self-respect? I'm just guessing on that. I just thought that maybe because of having lots of sexual experiences with lots of different girls that there is no "excitement" to it right now. It does seem unusual for a guy of your age to be experincing a lack of desire, but it could be due to what I mentioned or it could be something that has happened to you or someone close to you recently that has made you feel this way sub-consiously. I do hope that you figure it out and I'm sure you will...just don't obsess about it or it could make it seem more like a problem and make you feel worse. Just relax and do what feels right to you at all times. If someone thinks you are a weirdo if you refuse sex, then they probably are less mature than you and don't understand that all of our actions have consequences. But don't let someone pressure you into doing it if you are not 100% sure it's what you want to do. And as for your concerns about becoming "bored" again after marriage, that is just a chance you have to take and if you do wait till marriage and marry someone that you truly love, then more than likely this won't happen. Keep in mind though that all of the excitement that comes with the initial relationship almost always "wears" off to some degree, but when you truly love someone you will realize that those "butterflies" don't have to be present to enjoy being with the one you love. And I don't think there are any particular rules as to what you are 'allowed' to do when being abstinent...that's all up to you and your partner and what you feel comfortable with. If you really want to do this, then you will probably stick to it. Just follow your heart and your brain..consious. Good luck to you and I apologize for such a long answer..I could go on and on...but I do respect you for being 17 years old and really thinking about this and being so aware of things that lots of people your age don't even think of. hope this helps some...and hope that if my answer doesn't help that someone elses will. I think talking about it like I mentioned previously will help a great deal.
2007-03-26 05:26:05 · answer #1 · answered by Brenda M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it has become boring because you must have been doing it just for the sake of doing it.
Sex also becomes exciting on exploring the bodies of partners. Have you tried foreplay.
If you want to make it exciting, do something exciting like foreplay, change the positions, read some sexy story with your partner. You will see the excitement returning.
Some people don't get bored with sex when they are just monogamic and you say you are bored with n no of partners.
Try the remedies mentioned above and then decide what bores you.
2007-03-26 05:07:20 · answer #2 · answered by sanjay 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well first of all you need to go get yourself tested for stds you have had too many partners and you need to make sure you are okay. Then what you need to do is abstain from sex until the point where you are in a serious relationship. You need to wait after you meet a girl until you have been together for awhile and set up a monogamous relationship with her........if you cant do this then I guess you really werent that bored but I hope you dont even if it is just for the sake of your health.
2007-03-26 04:57:03 · answer #3 · answered by mouthygirl20012001 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow. that's a toughie.. but since you have already had ' so many partners' do you think that maybe the reason you are 'turned off ' by it now is that you are looking for more than just a 'hook up'?
i think that if you connect with someone on a deeper level you will see what i mean. like in conversations, and just spending time together rather than just hoping into the sac.
sex is a beautiful thing when shared between two people who care for and (hopefully ) love and want to spend an eternity together.
no one can know for certain if they will 'get bored' with the one that they are with.. but that's what commitment is all about .. loving that person enough to work out a solution to the problem..
don't worry about what the girls say about you.. you need to do what is best for you.
2007-03-26 04:58:51 · answer #4 · answered by lil' angel 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're tired because being with many people makes u become confused because they all have different personalities and when u lay with someone new even if it's a year later you pick up that person attached, but u still have the old person attached to u. I know that may sound crazy, but it's true and if I was u I would decide that one person is enough and less trouble, and you are still young don't ruin your good body for nonsense. Good Luck!!!
2007-03-26 05:00:28 · answer #5 · answered by sweet p 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you should wait until marriage. Wait until you find someone special. That's what the whole waiting until marriage is really about, which is kind of out dated now. If you make sex more special and less frequent you'll enjoy it more and it will be more exciting. Plus, if it's with someone who really cares about you and who you trust, then you can work on the sex to make it better if you do find it boring.
2007-03-26 04:56:52 · answer #6 · answered by fleurhelp 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would never marry a girl without having had sex with her first..
2007-03-26 04:55:10 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
try and go for a month without sex so you miss sex and want to have it again it happens to a lot of people
2007-03-26 04:57:20 · answer #8 · answered by T.A.Z.M.I.N 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you might be having sex with no emotion , sex is not just squeezing and pumping, its more than that. comeup with your emotion, then you will not get bored.
2007-03-26 04:56:09 · answer #9 · answered by saira_hssn 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋