I have tried telling him that I will always love him and no one will take his place but nothing is working . Im afraid he is such a brat child to my friend that he wont want to come around us again.how can I reasure my son that everthing is going to be okay.
2007-03-26 04:48:06 · 14 answers · asked by red robin 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Sounds like your son thinks that this boyfriend is a replacement for something and that if your spending time with the boyfriend, you're not spending time with him.
7 year olds have their own sense of logic that they develop to make sense of the world. (I have a 7 year old myself) What it will take is patience and understanding by your boyfriend. Your son has his own world as it's supposed to be (according to him) and strange guy hanging with mom doesn't fit into that world view.
Given enough time and patience, your boy should eventually relax and accept the boyfriend. Just be sure that whenever your son is around, nothing that could be upsetting to him is going on.
2007-03-26 05:04:13 · answer #1 · answered by Thrill K 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First give your seven year old time to adjust to the changes in life as well as make sure this guy your seeing is someone you have a definite future with. Because if your seven year old can run him off, you shouldn't even be dating him. No matter how much of a "brat child" he is. The new man in your life has to be able to love more than you otherwise it will never work out. You have a child he comes first over a bf or a husband. Even when your married he'll come first, that is just the reality you should have accepted when you had your son. Give him time and don't force them to spend time lots of time together. Their both still feeling the other out and finding commonalities. It has to happen somewhat naturally without you always being the mediator.
2007-03-26 17:42:11 · answer #2 · answered by espressoaddict22 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your son probalby isn't only wishing that you and his dad would get back together, but he is probably thinking that the new guy in your life will take away the time with him. Continue to reassure him that you will always love him no matter what but you need adult time with your friend.
I'm hoping that you aren't introducing him to any new friends in your life until a few months or so into the relationship. It's not fair to your son having different men in and out of his life often. It only adds to the confusion.
If he is acting like a"brat" and the guy doesn't want to come around anymore then the guy wasn't worth it in the first place. If he can't handle your 7 year old under these circumstances how is he ever going to handle having him around when your son hits the teen years??
Good luck! Been there done that in life!
2007-03-26 12:09:05 · answer #3 · answered by sweetsmellredhead 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When you introduce a guy to your son, make it as a friend. Go out and do things with both your guy and your son. If your son looks at him as your friend and becomes his friend you'll have already created a bond. Don't let him see the guy in your bed, in underwear, NAKED. If you want or need to be intimate, get a babysitter, leave the house and meet the guy somewhere else so your son doesn't think he is the one taking you away. Tell him you're going to dinner with a girlfriend or have an appointment..Slowly introduce that friend as someone who is becoming important in BOTH of your lives and ask him what he'd think of having a man around more often, to play ball with, etc. Make your new boyfriend a big part of your son's life. That way your son will look at the extra attention as a good thing.
2007-03-26 12:37:14 · answer #4 · answered by ? 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Make sure its serious before even introducing them. If he's a good guy, then he should take the time to get to know your child. I'm 33 w/ an 11 & 12 yr. old. I have had many relationships that have failed because of the jealousy between the kids and the guy. Over the years, I've come to realize that the kids aren't that bad of a judge of character. They really love the man I'm seeing now. Instead of taking my time from them, we spend time w/ them together. Playing ball, watching movies,etc. Which, in turn, makes our "alone" time really fun. Everybody's happy. Good luck!
2007-03-26 12:06:34 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am in the exact situation...You need to stand your ground with him(you need a life too). The next time he ask to go spend the night with one of his friends or go do something...tell him no a few times..Then tell him that that is the way you feel when he doesn't let you go with your friends. My son is 11 and very protective of me...he hates every guy that i go with (except for his dad of course). Just stand your ground...try planning an activity that involves your son and your boyfriend once in awhile. As long as your not switching guys all the time he will get use to the guy and everything will be fine...Good Luck
2007-03-26 11:56:51 · answer #6 · answered by Bad Mood 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am also a single mother but my daughter never gave me a hard time. I never brought anyone around her until after a few months. Children have a tendency to get attached very easily. The best thing to do is let your son know that you love him and no one will ever take that away. Good Luck
2007-03-26 11:59:31 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
trouble with being a single parent with a full time kid, children fantasize about their family getting back together, you should never introduce your BF to your kid unless you have been dating a few months, you shouldnt let people in and out of your life and have them meet your son, because that causes problems also,
Find a sitter and go out, tell your boy this is mommies time out with adults and mommy still loves him. also Kids are not dumb and know how to push buttons of all kinds with their parent. cant let them get the upper hand, they need boundaries
good luck
2007-03-26 11:53:17 · answer #8 · answered by rich2481 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Maybe your b/friend should make an effort to win him round,let them do stuff together,stuff your son loves doing.
Give it time and the rest will fall into place. Good luck!!
2007-03-26 13:26:59 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
By your actions. How long have you and this "new guy" been together? I don't think it's fair to let your children bond with new men too soon (and it's not fair to the men either) because things may not work out.
2007-03-26 11:53:40 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋