me and my boyfriend been together for almost 4yrs. we had a baby together, and lived together for about 3 yrs. but my mom doesn't like him. and as long as i'm with him. she doesn't want to help me. should i choose love?
2007-03-26 04:45:55 · 13 answers · asked by Tammie Tempesta 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You have a child together AND you love him....then you know your answer. The child has the chance to grow up in a loving home with you two, and if your mother can't see how thats very good then she just needs some more time. She doesn't have to like your boyfriend but she should respect her grandchild's father for the sake of her grandchild.
2007-03-26 04:50:51 · answer #1 · answered by kMaz 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have moved on in life---I mean you have met a man and made a committment AND a baby----just because you did not actually marry means nothing in the scenario you described. Your mom doesn't like this guy---why? You don't say. Is it because he won't marry you?? That was a choice you BOTH made--and so is the BABY and everything else you are doing now. Maybe mom is disappointed in the choices--but they are made and you are an adult---you can do what you want. She probably wanted a different outcome--a nice wedding and a few other things all moms hope for. On that side of the coin, you have to be honest---but if she is saying and doing stuff to be mean--that is a controlling manipulative attempt to run your life.....you have a right to be bothered by that. So exactly what help do you want from mom? All you have there is on you and help shouldn't come from mom--or anyone else. Had you been prepared for your current conditions, you wouldn't need help. So why wait for mom to help with anything--she raised you, now you are grown up and have a family--she deserves a break and a life of her own. She probably wishes you had the benefits of a real marriage---I mean you get nothing if he walks out, or whatever--but I suppose you know best. Now let's just suppose this guy is a ex-con or a current low-life that is doing illegal stuff or is abusive to you--then I guess she has the right to be mad. But you made the choices, and hope it all works OK---just be nice, smile, and have a good life
2007-03-26 12:02:07 · answer #2 · answered by fire_inur_eyes 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are a mom now, you and your man should be taking care of your baby, not your mother.
When you start a family, you need to focus on that family. You dont leave your family of origin by any means but your own family should be your first priority. You need to get your mother out of it. Of course, you cant control her, but you can control how you respond to her if she is interfering. And establish boundaries. Its hard to do but only you can do it.
Now what I wonder is why you have been with a man for 4 years and had a baby and still arent married. I dont ask this in judgement but you might want to ask yourself that question.
2007-03-26 11:57:10 · answer #3 · answered by CHELLE BELLE 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seeing as you skipped the marriage and went straight to having a family, I guess you should stick with the man you love. Ultimately, he will want to be with his child and you'll need the support. If you stay with him long enough, your mom should come around. Personally I'd get married and make it all legitimate. I'd bet money your mom would be more accepting of the relationship if you were a true family with roots.
2007-03-26 11:55:40 · answer #4 · answered by Alchemist 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why doesn't your mother like him? There is no reason why you should forget love to make your mother happy. You should discuss your feelings with your mother. Let her know this is the man you love and you should learn to except that mom. He is the father of your grandchild. Also, let your mother know that you love her very much and you hate the way things have become between you two. Good Luck
2007-03-26 11:51:09 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Isn't it about time you grow up? Time to let your child experience a real family and let you mom stop being so controling by buying you off. If he still wants you after this childish behaviour I suggest you marry him, move in together and let mom do what she feels she must. (I have a feeling you come from a divorced family and have no contact with your dad)
2007-03-26 11:53:03 · answer #6 · answered by lily 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Can't your boyfriend keep a job? Stay with him if he's trying to take care of you, your mother doesn't owe you anything. If he's not with you, then break it off and let your mom help out.
2007-03-26 11:50:59 · answer #7 · answered by nursesr4evr 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should not choose a guy that would get you pregnant
and not marry you after a 4 yr. relationship...
Good grief...
Break up with the loser and move on...
Find someone who wants a wife to keep...
2007-03-26 11:50:14 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You got yourself into this trouble but I guess you should seperate because a family should be a happy place where they're happy with all the people in it.
2007-03-26 11:50:49 · answer #9 · answered by notoriousteen 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes choose love, your mother needs to grow up,, as long as the man is treating you good, meaning no verbal or physical abuse,
2007-03-26 11:49:52 · answer #10 · answered by rich2481 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋