I have been with my boyfriend for 3 yrs. We recently got engaged. He is 30 and i am 23. Ever since we have been dating , our finances have been a strugge. I feel like in 6 months i will finally be out of debt. But he is 30, has no savings or even a bank account. I have been engaged for 5 months and have not even set a date yet. I am worried that if we dont get out of debt that I will not go through with this marriage. I dont want to sound shallow but money is a big deal for me. I dont want to be poor and I feel like if i were dating any other 30 yr old he would be more financially stable. What should i do>?
2007-03-26 04:33:21 · 6 answers · asked by spadezgurl22 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I actually went through the same thing... my fiance didn't have any money or saving and dept!! Which is crazy because he makes twice as much as me and I owned a house and a car!!! I take care off all the money and saving now but it's a big fight. Mine fi was blowing all his money on drinking and partying so it was hard to get his to "grow up". And it's still a struggle. I would sit down and see if you can work it out or maybe pay for a finical planner to go over it with you. It really depends on why he has no money? Is he like my guy or does he have problems holding down a job or what? Mine was easy because he has the income coming in.... he just has to learn how to grow up and budget it... not party it all way.
2007-03-26 04:49:01 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Two of the biggest things couples fight about are money and sex. It's wise to talk about these things and make sure you're on the same page BEFORE you get married.
Read this book together - Smart Couples finish Rich.
It will help a lot, and give you a way of talking about what can be a sensitive subject. I also recommend the following books:
1001 Questions to Ask Before You Get Married by Monica Mendez Leahy
The Hard Questions: 100 Essential Questions to Ask Before You Say "I Do" by Susan Piver
A Handbook for Engaged Couples: A Communication Tool for Those About to Be Married by Alice Fryling
2007-03-26 11:42:48 · answer #2 · answered by Silver_Stars 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Well, don't do this - if he is having trouble at this age, he will always have trouble. Obviously, he isn't stable, and doesn't look to the future. You are young, just starting your career probably, so should not have to shoulder another's debt. Why in the world did you get engaged before this was all settled between the two of you?
2007-03-26 11:47:45 · answer #3 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
It's not being shallow, it's being smart. Does your boyfriend have substantial debt? If so, is he making an effort to do something about it. What about your living situations and what do you plan to do after married about your living situation. Not to mention if you guys want kids, you should have some sort of financial plan/budget going on.
2007-03-26 11:41:55 · answer #4 · answered by Sunidaze 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
That's an important question, and one best discussed with your fiance. Money is a big deal, as it's one of the big causes for marital strife, so it's best you two get on the same page before the wedding.
2007-03-26 11:40:16 · answer #5 · answered by melouofs 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Then agree that you will handle the finances .
2007-03-26 11:42:59 · answer #6 · answered by livewire 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋