A close family friend celebrated a major b'day last year. We(I, husband, kids) took them out for a dinner. After 1.5 years, my "major" b'day came. She said we go out &eat in the weekend.
Small kids, busy lives, we couldn't find a time that worked for all. 4 wknds went by - kids sick, kids parties etc.
She said, hey, your next b'day is coming around. Let's hurry up.
Friday's don't work for me - I'm dead tired. Sundays don't work for her - needs to get ready for the week. Next 3 Sat's looked undoable for both.
She started repeatedly pushing me to agree to go out on a Friday. I refused. Finally, we did go out on a Sat, but it was a 'chilly' dinner.
Question: I feel if I am celebrating something, I shouldn't have to go out on a day that doesn't work for me. She can take out 3 hrs from a get-ready-for-the-week Sun. Or we wait for a day both are OK with. She didn't want to delay much. she cld have: do nothing, gift card, small cake. Who was more right ?
2007-03-26 04:19:18 · 11 answers · asked by MB 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Oh good grief.
Having to schedule and reschedule a major celebration simply takes the joy out of it.
Take yourself (and partner if you have one) on a little train ride to a town that has a beautiful B&B, and stuff to do in the town and have some fun.
If your family friends wants to do "something" she will find the time. Honestly, you (yourself) shouldn't have to "negotiate" a celebration. A simple BD card would do nicely from her.
2007-03-26 04:30:46 · answer #1 · answered by Pacifica 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you're not willing to bend a little either. Are you THAT tired on Fridays??? Please excuse me if you are many years my senior, but I am almost 30 and I work 40 hours per week in an office AND 30 hours per week in a restaurant waiting tables. I work 15 hours on Fridays and get off around 11:00....this also so happens to be the only night I can see my best friend, so I drive there (20 miles away!!!) and see her for a few hours!!! Nothing is impossible! If YOU really WANT to do it. But to me it sounds like you and her are both being equally stubborn, so what can you do???? Get over it. Besides, I think you should go on a Friday.... a few drinks and who cares if you're tired??? You can't expect someone to not get ready for the week on a Sunday.... which I am assuming is doing stuff like laundry, housekeeping, chores, errands, etc. All I'm saying is that she has more of a reason to nix Sundays, I feel, however you are BOTH wrong.
2007-03-26 07:16:00 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
she's calling because of the fact her relationship isnt going nicely and he or she in basic terms desires to be happy so she thinks to while she did experience happy. There could have been some thing you 2 did possibly some thing small which potential thousands to her and makes her experience related to you nevertheless. and he or she's in all possibility tried to get her bf to be like that and he wont so she calls you so as that she will have some thing advantageous and ordinary. She could have cheated and acted like that because of the fact she needed the buzz you've got been particularly advantageous and while we are immature we % the undesirable guy over the gentleman and now that shes a sprint wiser because of the fact of relationship moorons she's realised you have been for her all alongside. you ought to be a chum and a shoulder to cry on. A year is an prolonged time you ought to of impacted her existence especially good :)
2016-10-19 23:13:04 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're right about having to have gone out on a suitable day. It's possible she could have spared 3hours and gone out on a Sunday or even better to wait to see what day would be best for you. You could have stated that she didn't have to do anything or that both of you can't go out. The deal is that this is your big day, so she should have at least figured Saturday or Sunday near your birthday to go out, not 3 Saturdays later. She could have spared a few hours Sunday and maybe try to help her with her preparation for the work week. Or, you could have spared hours at the end of Friday night to go out. Both of you should have weighed both options and figure out what would have been good. You're on the scale of being more right in this matter. Though, if you both have uneasy schedules along with children, it's hard to consider who's more right and with her intension's being good. For now, it doesn't really matter, the day's have passed.
2007-03-26 04:34:26 · answer #4 · answered by Bryant 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In friendship "who is right" isn't the most important thing. A person can be right but both friends lose out.
Isn't it better to grab whatever time the two of you can and get together and keep your friendship healthy? Life is complicated and everyone is so busy that months and even years can go by without our taking time to be with the people who make life more pleasant. It's especially easy to neglect friends when we have children to care for or jobs that drain us.
I guess what I'm saying is that the question really isn't worth losing a friend over.
Happy Birthday, belatedly of course!
2007-03-26 04:31:38 · answer #5 · answered by LC 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if she can take 3 hours out of her Sunday why can't you take three hours out of your "dead-tired" Friday? Are telling me that every single Friday you are simply too exhausted to do anything? You are not the only one who works all week, I am tired on Fridays, too. But not so tired that I can't take the time to have dinner with a good friend if she asks. It was your day, but that still doesn't mean that this friend, who was trying to do something nice for you by the way, should have to make her world revolve around you.
2007-03-26 04:25:50 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Hmmm... sounds like a scheduling dilemma, how about meeting during the week, for a short period of time like an hour? Just call her up during lunch or on like a Wednesday afternoon and just ask what are you doing for dinner? Don't go to chucky cheez, but then again don't go to a fancy place pick a nice family restaurant where everyone can have fun!!
2007-03-26 04:26:12 · answer #7 · answered by Hudhud 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It isn't fair for you to say "I refuse to do it on Friday" and then you make her do it on a day where she doesn't have the time. If your schedules are so conflicting, then maybe you will just have to think of spending less time with her.
2007-03-26 04:23:31 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't worry, be happy.
Is this a party about to happen or a contest to see who is most busy?
I missed Christmas with my family this year due to health problems.
Grow up!
2007-03-26 04:30:35 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if its important for you tmeet up with her and spend time then put your ego aside about your dead tired friday and make some TIME! seriously set a date, and stick to it, you will appreciate your time instead of being petty about dates and times not working! just do it if that important!
2007-03-26 04:28:19 · answer #10 · answered by spadezgurl22 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋