My boyfriend told me this morning that he is not sure he wants to continue our relaitonship, he gave me many reasons for that, one of them that he is not motivated and enthusiastic. He said he needs time and then he will call me later in the week to talk about it. i have not replied to him.I am at work and I started to cry. I am really upset and I am really afraid of loosing him. Why does he need time to think and why does he want to talk to me about it? Is he going to call me it's the end and it's over? I really hope to stay with him as I love him very much. We have been togetether for 3 years.
2007-03-26 03:50:18 · 30 answers · asked by violet b 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Don't let it pass off so easily. If you really love him, then meet him in person and ask him what is the cause of this sudden change of mind.
If he needs time to think then let him have it, but first you must know where the problem lies.
Maybe then, you two can arrive at a solution and DON'T reveal your insecurity of losing him when you are in his company.
ACTION IS THE KEY; DO IT NOW.
2007-03-26 03:59:53 · answer #1 · answered by Himalayan Mystic 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear one, I am so sorry for the pain that you are feeling. This is what happens when we give someone our heart, though. The pain runs deep into our souls, and to tell you not to worry would be like telling the sun not to shine.
You know as well as I do that it will take time to move on. And I will not pretend to know why he wants to break it off with you. The only thing that I can tell you is that I truly believe that there is someone out there who is perfect for you. If this fellow is the one, then things will work themselves out. But, if this fellow is not the one, then thank the good Lord that you did not find this out AFTER you were married.
You might consider taking some time to visit with family or friends. Go see a movie -- something uplifting! Treat yourself to something that you have been eyeing for the last couple of weeks. But do something! The worst thing that you can do is sit around and mope over the loss of your loved one.
Good luck and keep your chin up.
2007-03-26 11:06:00 · answer #2 · answered by brevboy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh, I feel bad for you.
But what can you do?
You know, you are at the point where you have to decide whether you are going to get married or not (that point actually was a year ago).
I guess he thought about it and decided that he's not interested in getting married. And since he does probably want to get married, then it wouldn't make sense to keep dating you and tying you up so you can't meet other men who would like to marry you.
I know it hurts terribly. I think he has given it a lot of thought if he has all these reasons for wanting out. You are no doubt a wonderful girl, but he has finally realized that you are not a good match for him.
It's so much better to find out sooner rather than later, but I know it hurts whenever you find out!
Start exercising a lot to get your mind off it, and my other favorite distraction is reading many great books, one after another.
I'm very sorry about it all.
2007-03-26 10:59:40 · answer #3 · answered by helpfulhannah 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only you know the reasons that he gave you. You should have some idea as to what you need to do to make the reletionship work. If you see that he's just not ready, then move on with your life. Remember also that it's no good to try to cling to a man when he has doubts about his love for you. If he wants space, give it to him. Sometimes that also gives you the chance to see all the things you don't like about him. This could be for the best.
2007-03-26 10:58:03 · answer #4 · answered by bombastic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
DO NOT CALL HIM! Let him contact you! Trust me on this one.....He needs space, give it to him. Now is not the time to be clingy at all...it will quickly push him further away. Your best bet is to act like life will go on without him. He needs to see that from you. Independance kinda keeps them around ya know. It is less pressure/dependancy. give it some time. he has the problem, let him deal with it. try to keep your emotions in check while you are around him. the more fun you have while you are with him the better off your relationship will be. if, over these next few weeks, every time you see him, you cry and beg, he will high tail it outta there, but, if you are a bit more nonchalant and easy going, he will more than likely re-think his decision to leave. I know it will be hard, but you can do it...i have been there....p.s., now is a great time to lose weight...keep busy!
2007-03-26 10:59:00 · answer #5 · answered by in2one 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he might need the time, but usually that means he's done and trying to find a way to tell you. he thinks he's a "man", and he's not going to talk about it to you or any other woman, maybe his friends. motivation and enthusiasm are not reasons, they're excuses. in my opinion he wants to be with either another woman or other women. i know how it feels to be tossed aside, and it's not a feeling i wish upon anyone. i'm sorry for your loss. but it gets better over time. you probably won't want to hear this, but you should try your best to not let it affect you. if you let it get to you too bad, then you'll lose your job and that's something else he's taken away from you. if you really want to make him think, call him now and tell him that you've felt that way for awhile, and you've decided that you don't need any more time, you don't want to see him anymore.
2007-03-26 11:02:38 · answer #6 · answered by Gordo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take 3 deep breaths - Ready 1...2 ....3...Right you got a clear head... Now think what has been happening in your relationship lately: Have you been :
Needy,
Arguing - often about stupid thing
To possessive.
without beating yourself you is it you, him or both.
Give him the time he needs, just go out with your mates for a bit - in about 4-5 days, send him a SMS saying that you have been thinking about hum, and ask him how his day was.
PS: Don't dwell or confront him why he want to leave, Just talk about some positive things like, hey why not go to the beach this weekend. (Keep it low key and casual!)
2007-03-26 10:59:23 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie I hate to tell you this but something is going on with him b/c I just had the same problem recently although your guy may not be quite the *** mine was. Just don't reply and don't give him any leads . . . . let him take his time and then see what happens at the end of the week. You not talking to him may make him realize that you are willing to give him what ever he needs to make it work. Hang in there, I know its rough.
2007-03-26 10:55:25 · answer #8 · answered by Laura 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I once broke up with someone like that because I wanted to persue another girl. I didn't want to tell her so I made up lame excuses as to why. Maybe he's not doing that, it's just what I did.
BTW I'm sorry, I know it hurts very badly. Just so you know, I kept seeing her crying in my head. I eventually went back a week later. I couldn't stand to see her cry and the visual wouldn't go away.
2007-03-26 10:53:04 · answer #9 · answered by madbaldscotsman 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
3 years is a long time. However, do understand that people do change. If this is the end of the relationship, accept facts and move on. Its no point crying over spilled milk!
2007-03-26 10:54:34 · answer #10 · answered by SGElite 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋