Is the way YOU discipline YOUR child any ones business but YOURS?

Question

If you see a parent disciplining a child in public and you think it was innappropriate do you say something or mind your own buisness?
I ask because yesterday i had my kids at the park. This other woman had her kids there but wasnt playing with them AND seemed to expect the older children to entertain the youngest (they were probably 2, 6 and 8). well the 8yo was trying to put the 2yo in a baby swing but couldnt because the child had smowboots on. The mother came up and started in on the 8yo and said "you have to take off the boots to get him in the swing...why dont you pretend you have a brain" !!!
when she walked away i went to her and told her that I didnt think that was nessisary as SHE was the one who put snowboots on her child on a 75 degree day to go to a park....
USUALLY I mind my own buisness but this little boy looked heartbroken...not only can he not enjoy his day at the park because he has to entertain his brother but his mom calls him stupid! What would you have done?

Answer 1

I would have probably said "Miss, those are only children and they need your help, is that to much to ask"? I just can't stand by and watch some abuse their children for no reason at all. We as grown-up has to understand that kids that young is still in the learning stage and it is our job to teach them what they need to know.

Answer 2

That is sad! I see some moms in the stores that behave badly to their children. On the other hand sometimes mothers get to a breaking point. Maybe she had told the 8 year old several times how to do it and the child had not listened, (doesn't excuse the bad behavior and she could have taken a moment to be more constructive in her comment) or that the 2 year old had screamed a bloody fit to wear the snow boots, and it was easier to let them than listen to the screams. I think offering to help the child in a bad situation is better than telling the mom off, you never know what may happen to the child behind closed doors because you told the mom something.

Answer 3

Thats a thin line to walk there, typically, unless it goes WAY too far, I let people deal with their children the way they will, as long as it is not abusive and to the point it would be considered illegal. Everyone has had a bad day and snaped or yelled at their kids when they may not have deserved it.

Its a hard call to make, but if you truely feel that something is endangering a child or is over abusive, then its your responsibility to step in, aside form that, do your best to rais your kids and hope that other will do the same.

Answer 4

Well, I can appreciate your dilemma, and what you describe is certainly not disciplining...but being emotionally abusive.

But you do have to be careful about confronting a potentially abusive parent. If they have a tendency to take their frustrations out on their kids anyway, you don't know what they might do once they have their kids in private after you have embarrassed/angered them.

I guess if it had been me, I would have approached her too. But I would have tried to get her to talk about what is going on in her life and eventually drawn her around to her behavior and how it could effect the child...maybe suggesting she get some help if any particular problems surface during the conversation.

If I got the feeling that she could be doing this kind of thing chronically, I would have tried to get her name and address to report her to social services...but only if it seemed to be an ongoing problem and not just her having a bad day.

Answer 5

Well done for having the strength of character to speak your mind. I wish more people would get involved in the way other people look after their children as perhaps then there would be less serious child abuse going unnoticed and/or unreported. I think the saying 'it takes a village to raise a child' has a lot of merit. This woman could simply tell you to mind your own business if she didn't appreciate your input.

Answer 6

It is hard to look the other way when a kid is being hurt. But It isn't really any of your business. I often want to say something to parents that I see as unfit but unfortunately it is their child and they can do what they want right or wrong. But if there is ever abuse, someone obviously crosses the line, I would report it in a hear beat! If people think Social Services is unjust now they would hate it if I had control..........there would be zero tolerance, kids are to precious and fragile!

Answer 7

As sad and horrible as that is, as long as there is no abuse happening I'd probably stay out of it.

Who knows, if someone says something she doesn't like, she might just go home and take it out even more on the poor kid.

I don't really know what to say, but I think saying something to her & then leaving the situation alone was probably the best thing to do. Maybe perhaps you made her think about her actions. HOPEFULLY. Other than that theres not a lot you can do but maybe pray (if you do) for that little boy. It sounds like he needs it.

Answer 8

A child's discipline is the responsibility of the parent, and no one else UNLESS the parent poses a genuine threat to the well-being of the child.

Personally, I would have gone to the 8 year old with a smile on my face and told the child that he or she is not stupid and that they are a beautiful child. Then I would have told the so-called Mother, under my breath so the kids wouldn't hear, that she had a lot to learn in life.

Answer 9

If the disclipline is not abusive, I would not interfere.. but in this case, it was. Its very damaging to a child of any age to be callled stupid.. I hope that woman looks at herself twice in the mirror this morning before taking her children anywhere. Good on you for speaking your mind, parents like that should NOT be parents. I realize all parents have off days, but I've never had an off day to the point where I would even remotely consider calling my children stupid...GRRR

Answer 10

Almost every day I see things I would like to help out and be a part of but we have no right to force ourselves on others. One day at a store I saw a woman carelessly pick up her small child to hold the child. She was lazy and used one hand to pick up the child by the childs limb and it looked like the mother was going to pull the childs shoulder out of socket.

It is the business of child protective services though and when they get involved I don't think it is a win win situation