My b/f (now the father of my child) cheated on me 2 years ago and I haven't gotten over it yet. I need to know any suggestions on how to trust him again. I don't think he's cheating on me but I really want to move on with my life and stop dwelling in the past but it's hard. Please ANYONE help me!!!
2007-03-26 03:41:41 · 20 answers · asked by lovemuffin 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Sorry honey, but once a cheater, ALWAYS a cheater. You would be better off to move on.
2007-03-26 03:43:47 · answer #1 · answered by kja63 7 · 1⤊ 3⤋
I'm in the same situation you're in now. I recently got back together with my boyfriend after he cheated on me last year. The trust level will never be the same as it was before, and hopefully he realizes that. You need to sit down with him and tell him how you feel. If you don't feel comfortable saying it to him, write what you're feeling out and then let him take a look, so he knows what's going on.
I know it's hard to dwell on the past, and it just may take you longer to get over it. Whenever I find myself dwelling in the past about my boyfriend's affair, I just start to think of all of the good things he's done for me and I realize that I do have a good guy, but he just happened to make that mistake. Hopefully your boyfriend is showing you ways in which he does care for you and is showing you reasons why you should trust him. If you do care for him, you'll gradually find it in your heart to regain trust. It really just takes some time.
2007-03-26 11:18:37 · answer #2 · answered by Shandra S 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
u never will i am going through the same thing and trust me mine did that to me 2 yrs ago also and i still haven't gotten over that he even got the girl pregnant. Its just best to move on b/c u will never trust him again and u will always wonder if he's cheating again. Save some heart ache and get out and find u a guy who want cheat. B/c once a cheater always a cheater and if he did it once he will do it again. Don't make the same mistake i did and stay b/c i only came a doormate for him. Move on with ur life. U deserve better.
2007-03-26 10:47:26 · answer #3 · answered by biggest_duke_fan_ever@yahoo.com 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hey Lovemuffin,
The best answer I can provide since I am going through the exact same thing is this you will never forget and once trust is broken it cannot be regained but it can be rebuilt upon. They say time heals all wounds but not even time makes you forget. Trust me its been almost 3 years and even still if she gets a phone call that she doesn't answer or if I call and she doesn't answer, my mind always takes me back there to that hurt, to that time. I trust her but in my heart I will always wonder but not accuse her and if you want to stay in the relationship it is the same curse you will bear. Oh and getting even doesn't work either. BUT the one thing I did that put my heart at ease was we took one day where I could ask any questions I wanted to know about the situation and that would be the end of it I would never bring it up again and she would never bring it up again.
Good Luck
2007-03-26 10:48:48 · answer #4 · answered by Big Boy O 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are still with him you still obviously love him right???? If you do you must forgive him but don't forget..
You must trust yourself and the decision you are making and let it go.
If you can't let it go, you obviously feel inside that he is not trustworthy( I don't think he is cheating).
If the red flags are still popping up in your life, then maybe you should reconsider this union.
There must be a reason you are dwelling on the past, you either don't want to move on, want to hate him, you want him to feel the anger and frustration you have and how much he hurt you.
He will never get it in the same terms as you got it, cause it didn't happen to him.
You have to face this reality, stay with him and let it go or move on and start a new life.
There are only two choices.....
2007-03-26 11:09:44 · answer #5 · answered by doclakewrite 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Then stop dwelling on it. After 2 years you should have built up some amount of trust by now. If you haven't, then what's the point of the relationship?
Either you forgive him and trust him? Or you need to move on.
2007-03-26 10:44:54 · answer #6 · answered by janicajayne 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if someone cheated on you the thought of regaining trust should'nt even be on your mind. Look im a guy and if a woman ever cheated on me thats it, theres no thinking about it. Move on with your life and find someone whos loyal and wont hurt you, i know theres no sure way of knowing if someone will hurt you or not but thats life. Let him be the father of your child, nothing more.
2007-03-26 11:00:22 · answer #7 · answered by rusher not a russian 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, over time you can regain that trust, but you need to continue to watch. Trust is a hard thing to regain. If you want to stay with him, let him know how much you care about him. A content guy won't want to look elsewhere!
2007-03-26 10:44:14 · answer #8 · answered by jeepguy_2x 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't stay with him. You may have a child together, but you're better off with someone who loves and cares about YOU and only wants to be with you. People who cheat are unhappy with themselves and think something like that will resolve their problems, but it only creates more. If you value yourself, don't trust this man again and move on. You and your child are better off without him.
2007-03-26 10:47:10 · answer #9 · answered by girlie girl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you think you can't trust him it would probably be better for you just to move on. It is always hard to trust someone who has already betrayed you once you feel he may do it again. Good luck with whatever you do decide to do!!
2007-03-26 10:46:02 · answer #10 · answered by Christina 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately, when someone cheats it will always be in your mind. Maybe you should seak counseling, and since it is a boyfriend and not a husband you can choose to stay or leave, if it is to hard to get over, and allot depends on how much you love him and he you, which i still believe if someone loves someone they would have not cheated to begin with.. my opinion. Good luck
2007-03-26 10:47:55 · answer #11 · answered by sweetemtation_123 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋