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My mother doesn't always make the right decisions when it comes to spending money. I spoke to her about it several times, but nothing has changed (most likely, nor will it change!). My brother and I assist her every now and then, but I don't make a killer salary, yet I will be assisting her with monthly payments. Do you guys think it's the responsibility of us, "the children", to financially support our parents as they did with us?

2007-03-26 03:36:31 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships Family

16 answers

I think you should do everything you can for your parents. There was a time when you relied solely on them to take care of you.

Sit down and explain that you dont make as much money as you need to start with. Tell her that you would like for her to meet with your brother and you on a regular basis concerning her spending. I dont know her age or mental state, but she needs to understand that there are limits to what you can do. You still have bills of your own. Surely she can understand that.

I have lost both my parents at a young age. Trust me, you will never have any regrets for helping her. Cherish all the time you have with your parents, they are not around forever.

Good luck to you.

2007-03-26 03:44:15 · answer #1 · answered by I know, I know!!!! 6 · 2 0

No it's not your responsibility. I have helped out my mother-in-law several times. She makes very poor choices when it comes to finances. Her problem is that she wants the best in life and she wants better than her children. We send her payments for the van that she sold us and that is it. Maybe you could suggest financial counseling. It may not help but at least it is worth a try. We told Mom that our rent is $500 where hers is only $125 a month and that there are 4 of us and there is only 2 of them and they are both working. Sometimes you have to put into perspective that way. DO NOT let Mom give you a guilt trip about raising you that is the parents job but there is nothing that sais that we owe our parents for raising us. Try the financial counseling and putting things in perspective. I think that it may help.

2007-03-26 03:44:17 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Yes, I think it is our responsibility to help our parents out financially. However, if there are multiple misjudgements on spending money and this is what causes the problem of her being able to pay her own way, then you and your siblings may have to insist she take some type of money management course. You are not obligated to correct bad decisions. Just like our parents didn't always correct our problems and let us learn from our mistakes. Good luck.

2007-03-26 03:45:23 · answer #3 · answered by Tara 4 · 0 0

an exceptionally considerate question, so optimistically a considerate answer. I trust you that your spouse and young infants (contemporary and destiny) is your #a million economic priority. i'd communicate along with your spouse approximately what her theory is approximately financially helping them ability before getting too out of whack. If it ability some $one hundred or is something you may discover the money for - and you recognize it is going to bypass in the direction of residing fees - than i think of this is fantastic. If we are speaking a substantial committment that ought to result the money you place aside for retirement, young infants college, etc. - than i think of you need to bypass. There are different techniques you and your spouse can help - helping with initiatives so as that they do no longer ought to hire people, making beneficial they recognize they do no longer ought to purchase the infants costly provides at birthdays, etc. the component which would be stressful is putting circumstances on the money you grant - i do no longer think of alternative adults (fairly moms and dads) will take to that too properly. this implies you may land up giving no longer something. I truly have given my brother some unsolicited money by way of fact he and his family contributors are in some binds, yet then they do no longer cut back decrease back on what I evaluate lavish spending. I figured it became no longer my place to tell them a thank you to spend their money, so particularly not greater unsolicited presents. in the event that they have been ever in a bind returned and asked for help, i'd in all likelihood supply them a recent card for a food market so i recognize it will be placed to sturdy use. i recognize i'm wrambling somewhat, yet to reiterate the information. a million) you will no longer have the ability to tell your in-rules a thank you to run their funds so do no longer enable it frustrate you and a pair of) you're superb suited in that a while-honored known jobs are on your spouse and young infants sturdy success for each individual!

2016-10-01 12:27:47 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0 0

If they were good, loving parents, I do indeed think its our responsibility to assist them when needed. If they were rotten parents, that were not supportive of their children, then no, its not your problem. Just my thought

2007-03-26 04:21:01 · answer #5 · answered by beebs 6 · 0 0

It's a nice thing to do if you can manage it, but your needs are your first priority. Keep stressing to her how important it is that she makes good decisions. Maybe you could get her some help with money management, too.

2007-03-26 03:44:40 · answer #6 · answered by :) 5 · 0 0

Its a quesion i ask myself too, must we(we, me and my sister) support the family. But you must realise if you do not want to do that, you have to get out of the house/family, at least that is what i think. . . . think on the positive side, at least you can choose to have a saving or not, or reject paying thoes installments. I know you knew what to do, just do it.

2007-03-26 03:45:25 · answer #7 · answered by jade s 4 · 0 0

Absolutely!

2007-03-26 03:40:00 · answer #8 · answered by I_hope_I_know 5 · 0 0

of course not! it's nice to do so if you can. but our parents chose to have us. therefore, it's their responsibility to support us. but we didn't chose them. if you keep "helping her" this way, you will end up resenting her. my bf has amom like that and she ruined his credit b/c of it. i think it's selfish for parents to demand financial support from their children. it's not fair to you as you can't get a fresh start in life. the moment you grow up, you have this huge responsibily on your shoulders. if she were more responsible & occassionally needed help, i'd say sure, but to constantly help with payments is kinda unfair. she can't become completely irresponsible simply b/c u & ur bro can help out. i'd say if she wants your help, she's gonna have to make some changes by cutting her expenses.

2007-03-26 03:39:18 · answer #9 · answered by RedDevyl 3 · 1 2

it's nice when family helps each other, but perhaps your mother is taking advantage?

if she expects you to help, then i'd assume you have the right to put her on a budget. tell her you will help if she will allow you to help her with a budget she must stick with!

if you don't put your foot down, and continue to help her all of the time, you are enabling her to continue the practices of mismanagement....

2007-03-26 03:42:13 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1 0

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