I'm I a bad person?

Question

I do not get along well with my mother. My whole life she hasn't, well been the greatest to me emotionally. So I feel very indeiffernt with her. I do not hate her but at the same time I do not love her. Does that make me a bad person?

Answer 1

No sweetheart, you are not a bad person. I spent my whole childhood with my mother physically and emotionally abusing me. I am 33 and I have nothing to do with my mother. She causes extreme distress and pain when she is around. I also have no love for her but I don't wish her any ill will either. I know that she has to be lonely without any family and not being around her grandkids. Sometimes you have to take back your life and if that means keeping anyone that is harmful to your well being out even if it is family then that's what it means.

Answer 2

No, I do not think that you are a bad person. But I do think that it is sad that you do not have that relationship that a daughter needs to have with her mother.

Take it from someone who knows, do your best to resolve this issue with your mother. Trust me, there will be a day when you will wish that your mother was still around and there will be a day when you will have wished that you could have worked toward having a good relationship with her.

Some people just do not know how to relate to their children. Some have been hurt in the past emotionally. There are a bevy of reasons why she is not treating you right. You must explore the source. Have you tried to talk with her? Sit down and have a conversation about how you feel and tell her that you will help in any way that you possibly can.

But most of all, make sure that when you become a parent that you do not commit the same mistakes with your children.

Answer 3

No, that makes you a human being!! I also used to have this kind of a relationship with my mother! I must say that it is very different today, but it's taken a long time to get that way! Tell her the way you feel, if you haven't already...if she ever decides to try to do things to fix the relationship, let her try! People change and maybe you're the one it will take to get her to do it for good! You don't have to "forget" about all that's happened in the past...it's made you who you are today, but forgive and help her become a better person!

Answer 4

No it doesnt, but let me say this. You only have one mother and family should be number 1 in everyones life. Now im not sure what she did to make you feel this was but hate is a powerful word. Try to make amends with your mom if possible. Ive had many times where I felt that I hate my mother but then after a while I cool off and realize that I need her in my life. Do whatever you can to fix this, life is to short and before you know it you may regret never having that healty relationship with your mom. Best wishes!

Answer 5

Well, what do you think? You say your mother hasnt been the greatest to you, but have you really honoured her as you should have? Are you a bad person? Well, have you ever told a lie? How about stolen something? That would make you a lying thief. The 7th commandment is "thou shall not commit adultery", but Jesus said that whoever looks at a woman(or a man) to lust after her has commited adultery with that person in his(her) heart. So if you had to stand before a Holy and Just God on judgement day and He had to judg you according to those standards, I am sorry to say that you would be a bad person and you would end up in hell. See God is so good that he makes sure that murderers, rapists and liars and thieves,etc. be brought to justice. And saying your sorry wont help you. If you were guilty of many crimes and told the judge youre sorry, he`ll say you ought to be sorry and the fact that your sorry wont change the sentence, because his a good judge. See the Bible says we have all fallen short of the glory of God, and all liars, all thieves, murderers, adulterers, etc will have their part in the lake of fire. I know this sounds like a fairy tale and you might not believe it, but if I stand in the middle of the freeway saying that I dont believe in trucks- wont keep me from getting crushed. The reality is that you are walking on the path of sin and that the truck of justice is heading your way. I dont mean to judge you, I mean to help you. Listen to me for a second. If you were guilty of multiple crimes and the judge gave you a fine that you couldnt afford, but someone you dont even know steps into the courtroom and pays your fine, you would be set free, not on the account that you did religious stuff and was very friendly throughout your life, but on the account that someone else took your punishment. 2000years ago Jesus paid your fine for your sins, and what you need to do to inherit this gift(not something you can earn) of everlasting life, you need to turn from your sins toward God and place your trust in Jesus. That is Gods love for you. I am not talking about a religion, I am talking about a relationship with the living God. I dont even know you and might never speak to you again, but I know that the thought of anyone going to hell terifies me, and I ask that you think about what I said. When you invite God into your life, you will find the answers to broken hearts and broken relationships. I really do hope you seriously think about this and I do hope things will go better in your relationship with your mother. God bless you

Answer 6

It doesn’t make you a bad person. My father and I were the same way. I didn’t hate him but when I was young I felt like I didn’t love him either because he use to hit me a lot and he was very mean. But as we both got older I wanted to have a chance to have the relationship that I always wanted with him and when I approached him with that, he wanted that too and he recognized how he treated me when young. So now our relationship has improved 100 times. I like him now that he’s old and he’s soften up a bit. We talk all the time and I love him dearly and he shows me the same. Maybe you should try to approach your mom about starting new. It doesn’t hurt to try. And if she doesn’t feel the same as you then she can’t say that you never tried. It would be on her conscience and not yours.

Answer 7

Oh my goodness! I am here to tell you that I totally understand where you are coming from. It hurts, doesn't it!? You want your mother to be there for you, especially being her daughter and all, and sometimes, you just feel like you're in outer space because you totally don't understand why she may be acting a certain way, or why she doesn't truly listen to what you have to say. I will admit I have gone through this since day one with my mother. I was adopted when I was four weeks old, so I am not one of her own naturally, however, that's the only mother that I know. We butt heads all of the time, and still do and I am now 25. We are too much alike in many ways, which seems to turn us against each other. My relationship with my mother isn't nearly where it should be or where I would hope it would be at this stage in my life! And, my emotions are everywhere as well. My mother seemed to want to live her life, or the life that she never lived, through me. That put immense tension on our relationship. It seems like it's so hard for her to tell me that she loves me, for example, or give me compliments. It's almost as if we are in a competition and I still to this day do not understand! The same thing goes with my weight. I am a sports player and am very built. My mother takes this as me being overweight or not taking care of myself. Ever since I can remember, my mother has been picking on me about this. But you know what? Enough is enough! You've got to learn to laugh/shrug this off.....as hard as it may seem....and it is! I always expect my mother to say something. I almost, unfortunately, just go ahead and prepare myself for the worst, because there is not telling what she may be thinking or feeling. Through all of this, though, learn to love yourself and understand yourself. When you do this, you will be so much happier. Although your emotions may never change, that's understandable. This is a tough/touchy issue and it's hard to swallow. But, please, don't be discouraged. Your mother loves you, she is just having a hard time of showing you. That's the same situation that I am in. But, through the years, and with time, you will find ways to adapt to this awkward situation. And, she may be going through some personal things that she doesn't feel like sharing with the family and she may just have a lot of inward feelings right now. Since you're around, sometimes, she may be venting, but not necessarily to you or about anything concerning you....you're just there. Keep your head up. And, you don't hate your mother. You are just frustrated! Continue to love her and try to do what you can do, but at the same time, just keep yourself prepared. You never know what she may say or what might happen, but if anything does go down, you can always remind yourself that you expected that there MIGHT be a reaction, whether or not it's the one that you wanted. Good luck. It'll all be ok. You're not alone! In the meantime, continue to live life and love yourself. Everything will work out.

Answer 8

no, you are not a bad person. Your mother taught you to feel that way. She should be ashamed of herself. A mothers job is to be there TOTALLY for the child, or they shouldn't have children in the first place. I am sorry that is your experience with your mother. My 12 year old daughter is my life. I don't blame you for feeling indifferent to her-she brought that on herself. Don't waste a second of your time worrying about how you feel. Just resolve to do better when you become a parent. God bless, my dear

Answer 9

Sorry I don't think it makes you a bad person.We didn't choose our families. If they haven't made the effort to be a warm , loving and supportive parent then they don't get points for birthing us.Maybe they have their own issues and as you get older you can understand them and forgive them for the abuse they've given you. As you can probably tell I also have issues with my mother. I've decided I don't care much for her. For the love of my other family members I don't discuss it with them. They see things differently than I. I'm the oldest. I've found people in my life that have replaced her. If you are young you may grow to understand her. Good luck.

Answer 10

I understand how you feel. i kind of felt the same way too, with my mom. there we're even times i've said really bad things about her, when we have an arguement. i dont think your a bad person! because we have our reasons why we hate & love somebody right? there's a reason behind your ill feelings with your mom. that makes you hate her. even though you said you dont hate her, but honey it's very loud and clear that you hate your mom! as ive said i know exactly how you feel. coz ive been through that. and sometimes because of frequent arguements. we felt nothing but hatred to that certain person. dont be guilty if you dont feel love for your mom. time heals. maybe its not yet your time to reconcile with her.