Everytime I have a boyfriend, I get into insecurity streaks. For example, when we reserve a hotel, or go camping, I get worried if there would be hotter girls around us. If there are hotter girls staying at the tents next to us. If there are prettier girls on the line on the supermarket, i check to see if my bf notices them. (Ofcourse he doesn't) But it brings me down. I also get upset at myself for thinking the way I do. My boyfriend is great and treats me beautifully. Its just me, and I'd like to improve my self - worth and self confidence. I definitely know my bf loves me and that he finds me the most beautiful person in the world. But I'd like to fix MYSELF. Any suggestions? Any books you recommend? Can anyone relate to this? Thanks so much!
2007-03-26 03:09:03 · 8 answers · asked by Jenna S 2 in Health ➔ Mental Health
it's both. I can completely understand where your coming from. It's horrible feeling that way. Mine has always come from me being plus size. I had to finally accept me for who I was and if I couldn't find someone to accept that then I didn't need them. I had to start feeling secure about myself then my securities with men got better. Fact is men are attracted to different type of women. Most mature men are mainly attracted to a secure woman. Besides, there will always be a guy that looks way better then your guy. Does that mean you'll be running to him? No. your with your guy for a reason and he feels the same way about your. If he was to leave you for someone else. Well then that person didn't deserve you in the first place.
2007-03-26 03:51:27 · answer #1 · answered by gemini 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm a guy but i understand what you're saying.... I don't have this problem with my wife checking out other guys. However, you can take at least a little comfort in knowing there's many many other women in your shoes, I'm sure! Sounds like a combination of being insecure and maybe low self esteem. He seems to be a pretty good guy, does he tell you how beautiful you are, great you look etc?? If not, maybe that's part of the problem but if so, you need to just try and focus each time it comes up on how happy you are with him and tell yourself how crazy that is and hopefully that'll gradually end! Work on gaining confidence in yourself! Look up books on the subject and find out how others have overcome this! You can do it! Won't happen overnight but eventually you'll be there! Set goals for yourself and by achieving those, it'll help alot, use your imagination for that cause those goals could be anything!
2007-03-26 10:25:24 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There will always be someone hotter than you. Just like there will always be someone who's not as hot as you.
You need to do the best that you can with what you've got. Not every person in the world is shallow enough to judge people solely by their looks.
You need to stop thinking about that all the time, too. It's not doing you any good.
2007-03-26 10:13:35 · answer #3 · answered by tamara_cyan 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi there. I have the same issues from time to time, but I try to overcome them by telling myself that they are not perfect either. Other women have the same issues we face, so why get ourselves all worked up over nothing?
When I get this way, I get in a beautify-myself mode. I start working out more, eating healthier and treat myself with a mani/pedi, haircut or a delightful meal and the end result is a more confident "me".
I hope you will start doing such things to give yourself a little boost and don't forget to hold your head up high.
Hugs.
2007-03-26 10:36:34 · answer #4 · answered by Fig 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think that its jealousy. You may be possessive about your bf. You may overly concerned about how attractive you are, in comparison to others.
The issue is being "grateful." Be grateful for the kindness and the attention of your bf.
Be grateful for the fact that, his eyes are on you. Be grateful for the respect that he demonstrates when you think he may/could be admiring another woman.
You dilemma is one of learning to appreciate yourself. You must see yourself as worthy of the life that you have---look around there are people in deeply troubling circumstances. If you could only realize how special you are. It is difficult, I know but, this is a time of healing. A time when you must sincerely pursue self-knowledge not self-loathing. A time to resolve concerns of the past. A time to acknowledge your tenacity and perseverance. A time to realize that, you are loved and that you must pursue your passion. There's something that you do that you love---be the best at it!
Fill your time with goal-oriented pursuits(e.g. Cardio Training to enhance your body). Look deeply into your heart--find your purpose. Be kind to yourself and be at peace with where you are now on the path of life.
Namaste`
2007-03-26 11:08:12 · answer #5 · answered by FunkyMcNasty 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
pls ignore that person above me who answered.. i think it's both.. and it means the same thing.. insecurity due to low self esteem which to me is the same as not loving yourself.. if you know that your bf does not ogle at other hotter girls, than why are you feeling bad? you've got a wonderful boyfriend and i'm sure there's something that you have that many of those hotter girls don't.. treasure your relationship and your bf.. don't let insecurity get the better of you..
2007-03-26 10:23:09 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have a jealousy problem. Get over it by telling yourself that your boyfriend loves you. Stop worrying about those other girls. Enjoy your relationship with your boyfriend.
2007-03-26 10:24:12 · answer #7 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look into any metaphysical books.
2007-03-26 10:29:54 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋