Would you have children?

Question

I am 26 and for some time now been in a serious relationship, my partner already has a child from a previous relationship and i am starting to think about myself having children, cause my friends are either about to or discussing it with their partners and i have been thinking perhaps its now time for me to think about what i really want and probably to grow up instead of doing what i please. My partner has said that if we have a child we have a child if not we don't completely my descision because i am unsure and to be honest really scared. Would you have a child?

F.Y.I its very serious in our relationship i am just not that bothered about getting married, but he has said that he would marry me. and i didn't word that very well about my friends having kids, them having children has made me realise i am not 18 anymore and i am strating to have very serious responsibilities and perhaps i should start thinking about the most serious of them all

he is a brilliant father to his son, couldn't ask for anyone better, so i know i would be very supported

Answer 1

i think i would,but would want a 100% answer from my partner. just to be sure. youve obviously got your wits about you, just obviously not sure wat to do, sit down and talk to him about it. it will be the best thing youll ever do to have a baby, even though we got married after having our daughter,cuz our ceremony was booked anyway (long story) getting married wont make anyone a better parent neither will it if u dont. but i would have a child, as the biological clock dont tick for long....
good luck sweet. do wats best for you

Answer 2

You should only have a child if that is what you really want, without any questions or reservations in the back of your mind. A child is for life, not just for christmas and it is a big committment. If you are having to ask yourself or other people then perhaps it is not right for you. Not saying you'll never change your mind but at present, you shouldn't have a child just because others are having them. The desire for one should come from your heart. Your partner's attitude is great, he's not putting you under pressure to have one but at the same time he's not telling you that if you have one this and that will happen. I think he's quite a balanced and decent guy. If you are still together in 5 years time then perhaps you can think about it.

Answer 3

You should only have a child when you are ready and if you really have to think if its time to have a child - your not ready.

Everybody is different and just because your friends are having babies it doesn't mean you should as well. It may be that you wont be ready until you are in your 30's or maybe you'll decide you don't any at all - which is also okay.

Be reallly sure this is the right time to have a baby as they change your life completely and you'll discover you can't go out the same as you used to and you can't afford new clothes wheneever it takes your fancy.

On the other hand nothing will bring you more joy than a child.

Just go with your gut instinct for now - its usually right.

Answer 4

You have at least 15 more years to have a child. I didn't have mine until I was 35, when I had done everything I wanted to do and could really devote myself to being a mom.
Don't depend on your partner being there with you for the raising of a child - notice that he has already left one.
Don't let your friends decide for you. In fact, you can "try out" being around kids by taking care of theirs - and you know they'll appreciate some time off!
I waited until I knew that I was ready and that I had a stable living and financial situation. I hope you do too.

Answer 5

I wouldn't have a child unless I was married to my partner and we both wanted children. There are already too many children in broken homes with one estranged parent who doesn't want them. That's my slap answer judgement speaking.

On the other hand, I wanted children all my life, and we just had our first...it's the most wonderful experience ever! So I understand your feelings and can't blame you for wanting to be a mother. Just be sure this is the best time and situation to have a new baby. If you are unsure and really scared, don't. Wait until life opens up for you and you feel prepared, have time to spend being a mom, and are emotionally ready to become a parent. And only if your partner is ready to be a dad to a new baby. Don't be in a hurry.

Answer 6

FIRST OF ALL WHAT ARE YOUR REASONS FOR WANTING CHILDREN? IF IT'S FRIENDS, FEAR OF GETTING OLDER OR SOME OTHER REASON THEN YOU NEED TO QUESTION THEM IF IT'S PURLY FOR JUST WANTING THEM BRINGING ANOTHER HUMAN BEING INTO THE WORLD THEN ALL WELL AND FINE DOES YOUR PARTNER FEEL HE HAS TO MARRY BECAUSE YOU MAY GET PREGNANT AGAIN NOT A REASON FOR MARRAIGE SIT DOWN DISCUSS AND FIND OUT WANT YOUR PARTNER REALLY FEELS HE HAS A CHILD FROM A PREVIOUS RELATIONSHIP FROM YOUR POINT OF VIEW IS THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN HIM AND HIS CHILD ONE THAT YOU WOULD LIKE BETWEEN YOUR CHILD AND HIM THERE'S NO RUSH 26 IS STILL REALATIVELY YOUNG ENJOY YOUR FREEDOM FOR A COUPLE MORE YEARS AND IF YOU STILL BOTH FEEL THE SAME WAY THEN GOOD LUCK

Answer 7

I have a 9 year old daughter, am lets say in my late 20's, but don't plan on having anymore children.

Don't get me wrong, I love my daughter more than anything else in the world, but have made the concious desicion not to have anymore children.

Do what makes you feel happy, there's no law that says that you have to bear a child.

Answer 8

I would discuss marriage with this guy first. Bringing a baby into this situation would be wonderful. Also, remember that he will always have obligations to his other child. Also, really evaluate how great he takes care of his first child - this will tell you a lot about what type of father he will be.

Answer 9

Definitely not. Id say, grow up first, then have a child. Having a child, because youre friends are doing it, is not a very good reason. Plus you didnt even mention where this relationship is going.

Answer 10

If having a child is something you are questioning, you probably shouldn't. Children aren't possessions you collect to keep up with your friends, they're not adornments like earrings or necklaces, they're living, breathing, DEMANDING little people, and unless you can say you are ready to give yourself over to spending 100% of your energy, money, heart and soul to raising them for the next 18-21 years, I wouldn't do it.