Parents, are you pro-spanking or anti-spanking?

Question

Parents, do you believe in spanking your child/children or do you not believe in spanking your child/children? What are your reasons for or against?

I am wondering about this topic because when it comes to my kids I believe I will spank because I was spanked by my parents (also paddled in school without parent supervision) when I was young and it worked out well for me. Do not think I don’t realize that every child is different and different approaches work better with different children.

Furthermore, I believe when kids are younger you cannot reason with them because they are not old or wise enough to understand logic. They do however understand pain!

Have you ever been out and seen a child acting outrageous and thought, what is that parent thinking, why don’t they put a stop to this? Sometimes the parent tries to publicly reason with the child with minimal success (ie they continue the behavior). Do you think a paddling would be appropriate or has our government tied parents hands too much for doing anything in that type of situation?

Do not confuse spanking with "beating or abuse," there is a clear difference. I am NOT pro-beating, but I do feel a good spank on the rear is appropriate in certain situations. I do remember how I felt when I received my punishment/spanking, but I also thank my parents now for what they did then. Furthermore, some people are responding that fear is not a good way to earn respect. To those individuals, I respond, read "The Prince" by Machiavelli. Anyways, thanks for ALL the answers thus far! =)

Answer 1

I am for spanking. I am not for beating. Hitting a child anywhere other than the butt or hand (sometimes the mouth for bad mouthing) with anything other than a hand is beating. You do not use coat hangers, belts, fist etc. There are folks that cannot see the difference between a spanking and a beating. As you stated a small child cannot understand logic. A small slap on the hand and a stern no is needed when they
are small and keep touching things they are not suppose to. This sets the stage as they are growing up and you state no. Then the logic part starts kicking in. With my youngest child we smacked her hand and her butt when she needed it. We never beat her. She is very well behaved and gives us hardly any trouble. She is happy and healthy and shows affection easily. We never beat her or abused her. As far as public tantrums..... why do parents allow this to happen? My children hardly ever did anything like this and the few times I can recall I exited to the bathroom or my car while telling them "Come on... go with Mommy and we'll solve the problem." But I can only recall this twice. My thing has always been I never spent long in a store with a young one and never did multiple stores. If they were unhappy before I went in, I did not go in cause I knew I was asking for trouble. My children do not fear me unless they know what they do is wrong or plan to disobey me or my rules on purpose. Wait till these kids are near teens and someone offers them drugs. What are you gonna do? Take away their cellphone? My kids do not let folks drag them along on escapades I would not approve of. You know why? My kids will tell you it is because the other kids do not have to come home to me. More and more parents complain, my child does what ever he/she wants. I tell him/her no and he/she does it anyway. Sure they do. Who would not want to go out for a midnight run for beer and the only consequence is being grounded and losing the computer for a month?

Answer 2

It really depends on the situation and the child involved. If a child is acting up in public and won't listen then there is nothing wrong with giving that child a smack on the butt to get their attention and know that you mean business. If a child lies or steals then they need to have their butt spanked properly. As far as your question about the government interfering with parenting, I think too many parents use that as an excuse to not discipline their children. I've done some research through Health and Welfare and have discovered that spanking on the butt is NOT considered child abuse provided that no marks or bruises are left. My husband's and my children are now really too old to be spanked. We've discovered other methods that work better such as taking their favorite things away.

I have to add this little side note to people who think that spanking just teaches children to fear their parents and not respect let me say this. Fear is the purest form of respect.

Answer 3

I spank, among other things. I spank, on the spot, no questions asked when my children are in danger and have no second chance to learn the message I am trying to teach. For example, running into the road or sticking something in an outlet. Spankings also happen with warning, as a concequensce, when other methods of discipline have not altered the behavior.

I have very, very rarely even had to mention a spanking while in public since discipline is done at home. Although my children act up in public just as any do from time to time, I do not have the outrageous children you speak of.

The government needs to stay out of normal discipline.

Answer 4

Anti-spanking. I was abused as a child and I was beat when I was married. Children are smaller and they can't defend themselves. We ground our children from the t.v.,computer and having friends over. We don't need to spank. They are good kids. A hand is a weapon and we should not use weapons to punish. Please remember how you felt when you were hit. I do!!!! I don't want my children to ever feel the way I did when I was growing up. I think that anyone that thinks that putting a child through pain to make them mind needs some parenting classes and some counceling. Some kids respond to nothing and spanking will only make it worse.

Answer 5

Sometimes spankings are necessary. A child has to be taught. I'm not saying abuse the child, but when all else fails, bring out the belt or hickory switch. They will learn. Like you said, you were spanked, and you turned out OK, right? Just remember, never paddle when you are angry. Take some time to calm down and reflect on what has happened, then with a cool head and cool hand, discipline your child the way he/she deserves.

Answer 6

i believe in spankings . i don't believe in abuse though . you spank on the behind not any where else . i was at our local store not long ago and this woman had two children . appeared to be 1 and maybe 3 . the oldest reached up and was just touching a bag of chips she slapped him so hard on the arm it rang all through the store . while the oldest was crying the baby started in too . she then slapped the baby on the mouth . to my opionon thats abuse . not only was it emabarassing to me it was emabarassing to the cashier too . i spank mine while there in there room . not in public . and mine have ground rules to go by . they respect me as the mother and listen to me . when you slap your children around and don't care how hard or where you are at i guarentee you , you will loose respect from your children . my husband tells me i have a yelling problem . not cussing my children i would raither holler than spank . when i was a child i got beat . very bad by my drunk father and i just cannot see hitting my kids don't get me wrong they get there butts busted though.

Answer 7

I'm pro spanking because sometimes it's the only way to get the attention of a three year old.

Answer 8

Lets see weren't you hurt when your mom or dad would hit you with a hanger (thats what they did to me) and now your gonna do that to your child.NO you should not hit or spank your child.At a young age you beed to form an agreement an understanding. Grounding is stupid and just creates a barrier.I believe in disscussions, though i m not that type of a person.

Answer 9

I only had to spank a few times, only 'case I warned I would if my kids didn't behave, or once when my son was told not to leave the back yard and he did, he was gone for hours and we had the police and neighborhood looking for him.
When he returned all muddy from "Looking for alligators by the creek."I told him that he was going to get a spanking because I'd warned him.
I was so relieved to see him the last thing I wanted to do was spank him, but I followed through, not to hurt him, but to let him know I wasn't joking. When my Mom was giving him a bath I was crying in my bedroom,'cause I felt so bad.
I never spanked out of anger, I only spanked as a teaching tool.
Thank God, me children had learned to respect their parents, and there weren't many spankings.
My daughter uses time out for her little ones, she doesn't believe in spankings. She phoned me to ask what to do when time out does't work anymore.I told her she would have to figure it out, because I didn't know.
She did spank one of her children once and told me it helped.
When I baby sit my grand children, I warned them that I spank for bad behavior. My oldest granddaughter told me "Grammy, you know we don't do that here."
I smiled and replied"I'm the Grammy, I'm watching over you 'til Mom comes back, and I make the rules."
My middle granddaughter's eyes got big.(she's the one who got spanked once)
"Do you undestand what I'm saying?" I asked to reinforce the spanking statement and I was not joking.
They nodded, and the rest is history. I never had any problems and they behaved, Thank God.
I still got lots of hugs and kisses when I left.

Answer 10

I do not believe in spanking at all. Its basically using your strength against a little helpless person just because they can't fight you back. Just because it worked for it dosn't mean you should continue that cycle of violence. When my daughter acts up I remove her from the situation and take away priveledges. I think kids who get spanked are more out-of-control anyway,probably from lack of effective disciplinary measures. Kids who are spanked do not RESPECT their parents, they just FEAR them.