Boyfriend problems?

Question

I work my *** off. I go to school (Dean's List) I work full time, and I rasie me and fiances' daughter. He never compliments me or EVER does anything nice for me!! I feel SOOOO under appreciated. He always puts me down and makes me feel bad. He always says that I am selfish, and I never do anything for myself, I always do stuff for them. On mother's day of LAST year, that is the last present I got from him and they were flowers that on the card it said, to the only one that will put up with me. What can I do make this guy realized what a good thing he has, before I blow up and freak out on him!!

Answer 1

This is a tough situation because a child is involved. First and foremost you deserve to be happy and if he's not making you happy then you don't need to be with him.
Think about your child. If it's a girl, do you want her growing up witnessing how her father treats you and think that it's normal? She'll end up with a man who does the same thing to her. If it's a boy, do you want him to treat women that way because he knows no different then what he see's his father doing?
You can't do anything to make this guy realize what a good thing he has. If he doesn't see it on his own then he never will. You can't force a person to change.
Staying in the relationship is being selfish because you need to put your child first. Your child does not need to witness an unhealthy relationship.
Good luck

Answer 2

Sounds like he is depressed. About what we don't know yet. If you love him, you might be able to find out from his relatives. Get the relatives involved or at least two of his friends and two of yours.

Hmmmm... my friend a few years back was in your position with no kids though.... she made a list and put in on the fridge with check boxes. It was a list of the top five things that she loved to have her boyfriend do for her. She told her boyfriend that he was gambling too much and not paying enough attention to her. So she said that if he did not do all the things on the list in the next 3 months, then she would move out. He did 3 of the 5 things and after she moved out, he got counseling for a gambling addiction.

Put the ball in his court and if he really wants to break up, then he can do that by doing nothing. Gives him an easy out and also gives him a chance to step up to do what needs to be done to love you.

Hopefully you won't be alone in helping him see the light. His family and friends should also chime in and offer advice since they know him well.

Jonathan

Answer 3

Frankly, more than your concern about how to make him realize what he has, I am concerned that you continue to subject yourself to the demeaning behavior. No one has the right to put you down - period. I would go a step further and suggest that you have found yourself in the dynamics of a potentially abusive relationship. At a minimum, you are describing verbal abuse. The real question is how long do you want to subject yourself to it? No man alive is worth hanging on to that continually puts you down and the reality is: you are not going to change him. He's doing this now and you're not even married yet. It will get worse after you marry him, not better. Been there - done that - and barely survived.

Answer 4

first of all, how long have you been together? and how much time do you spare just to be with him?......if you have been together quite long, then maybe he needs a little reminding of who he is with.stop chasing him for a while, wear your best clothes (remember those type of clothes that he really liked seeing you on during your first dates), get a new haircut or just do something to make yourself more beautiful than you usually are and don't forget to act sweet and as if you are another girl..in short, kinda flirty, mysterious girl drama..i think that's the best way..coz you know men are kinda "forgetful"...good luck and if this still doesn't work.YELL and never plead telling him how much effort you have put on making youself beautiful to him and then walk out of the restaurant...that's it!!! if he loves ypu, then he will chase you..well, just don't overdo....
----seriously, girl, stop chasing him for a while and stop doing things for him.stop doing him favors and so he will realize how important you are.you work too hard so reward yourself by biulding up again your self esteem..remember those times when you were so self-confident? then, bring back that spirit and treat yourself and your baby.go shopping and never buy him anything..its time he becomes responsible for both of you

Answer 5

It is likely that whatever you do won't produce good results.

That shouldn't stop you from trying.

You need to tell him what your needs are. You need to start withdrawing yourself from him a little. Be less available to do things with him, etc.

Of course you still have to take care of your child, but you don't have to do things for him.

Truthfully you should go ahead and prepare yourself to move on from the relationship. You don't need to do this all at once. Take your time.

It is possible that he will wake up before it's too late, but not likely.

Answer 6

You can't make someone open their eyes and see what's in front of them. You need to figure out how much you are willing to put up with. Realize that if he is already putting you down and will just continue and possibly get worse. Get out while you can!!

Answer 7

He's just not into you. He doesn't feel the need to tell you that you are good because he thinks that you are a pile of crap. You are not going to get him to change his attitude. He has to decide that.

Answer 8

if you are not happy, you will never make anyone else happy, you are being taken for granted and a good babysitter too.

Answer 9

you should explain how you feel about this. make it clear that you are feeling like he isnt giving enough of himself to you.

Answer 10

Tell him what your problem is , make him understand and control your temper:/.