Why do people give such crappy food when you go to see them?

Question

I have a friend who is loaded with money, but for some reason, each time I go to visit her, she gives me the tackiest of food. She even works next door to Marks & Spencer's, but I never see a nice cake from there for me at her home!! She will give me fairy cakes from the market and the cheapest Tesco's value ready salted crisps. When she comes to see me, I give her loads of stuff to eat - good quality stuff and I even earn less than her. Why do people do this? She has been like this for 20 years. Once she asked if I fancied a biscuit and when I said, yes please, she brought me just one jaffa cake in her hand for me! She is 36 for goodness sake. I've even made 3 course dinners for her whole family.

Answer 1

Some people with loads of money doesn't necessarily mean they are also generous. I had friends like yours too. In some cases, maybe they themselves don't put too much importance on food, maybe they normally eat crappy food, or small eaters, or just plain thoughtless, inconsiderate, & misery.

Answer 2

Just because someone has money doesn't mean that they appreciate the same things that you do.

We're quite into food (and wine) in our house and tend to cook from scratch but I don't have treat type products in the house very often so I guess I'd be a worse hostess in as much as if you just popped in then there wouldn't be any biscuits/cakes.

That said, if I knew you were coming however I'd definitely get something nice to nibble on over a cuppa-and if you were really unlucky I might even bake!

My guess is that it's not that she's tight it's just that food isn't high on her priority list-if she's not fussy about food why buy the 'good' stuff when she can have what she probably sees as an equivalent product for a lot less money?

Wouldn't do for me personally, but then I'm a bit of a foodie too.

Answer 3

She may buy cheap economy food because some people believe that there isn't much difference in the quality and taste of food between the more expensive brands and cheaper economy brands. Me for instance I only ever really buy the good quality food, because I do notice the difference - for instance cheap economy crisps just taste stale, but the supermarket own brands are not bad - but I prefer Walkers the most. And as for orange juice I actually prefer the supermarket's economy orange juice, and thus buy that instead of the more expensive supermarket brand or well known brand.

Have you seen more expensive brands in her cupboards?? Because it would be strange if she does buy the more expensive foods but only buys cheap food for guests. Not only is it strange but is just downright selfish!! Maybe you should just say no when you go around her house and she offers you something to eat. I know I would.

Answer 4

Honestly - I would think that after 20 years you would either get over the fact that your friend is not a good hostess and doesn't serve the type of food you enjoy or let go of her as a friend if it troubles you that much.

Why do you expect others to supply free food to you like they owe you or something? Isn't the value of her friendship enough?

Answer 5

It depends on who you go see. My friend Jacques and his wife Mimi are from France, and I have NEVER had a bad meal with them They are wonderful chefs. On the other hand, I know enough to eat well at home before I go visit my brother. My dog eats better food than he serves..

Answer 6

Well, difficult to say why she's doing that without really knowing her, but if experience has ever taught me something, it is that the wealthiest people are rarely the most prodigal.

It might not be easy to openly complain to her about it, but if I were you, I would treat her the same way, just to see how she'd react.

Answer 7

Find new friends. There's no accounting for taste. Take a cup of coffee and politely refuse the odious offering.

Answer 8

That's how it always is. It's what money does. Giving people usually don't have as much as people who don't give as much. People who keep more usually have more to use when they're older.

Most rich people aren't all that rich anyway they're just in a lot of debt.

Answer 9

let it go girl, ask yourself why are you freinds. if the food thing is bugging you that much next time you visit her make a note of what she gives you, then next time she visit's you give her exactly the same thing. either way take a deep breath and try and laugh about it.

Answer 10

Some people are very maternal and caring and they shower you with food, others are more caring for their own stomachs! I shouldn't worry, it's just her personality. doesn't make her a bad person.