What about me attracts men who want to use me for sex?

Question

I am a giving person. When I care about someone, I give my all. I cared for him and I thought he cared for me. I realize now I was just entertainment for him. The sex was real good for him but soon after a year...i got tired of it but still kept doing it. I left town to get over him and when I returned I never told him I was here. Eventually, I told him. He still asks me am I ok. It seems he cares but then he does things and says things to hurt me. Did he really expect me to want to still sleep with him now? After being broke down through a marriage and dealing with him, I have just had about enough. I refuse to take his calls and I made a choice to let it go COMPLETELY. Even the desire is gone. How do I make sure I don't attract men like this again?

Answer 1

Just because you've been taken advantage of by one jerk, please don't think that we are all like that. In my mind, a loving and caring woman is the biggest turn on of all.
To guard against his type in the future, just watch yourself; if a date pushes for sex on the first or second date, or refuses to stop his advances when you ask him to, then he's probably just out for what he can get. Look for someone who shows you respect as well as friendship.

Answer 2

I don't know what signals you are giving which might make men only interested in you for physical affection. It can be as simple as the way you dress. Your conversation, your body language, your whole demeanor either make you a woman, a self controlled, self assured woman, or otherwise. If it walks and talks like a bimbo and dresses like one, well....you get the picture. I want you to consider not giving your "all" so soon. Get to know someone first before you even consider getting emotionally involved. Please do be a giving person; give yourself some self respect. You have much more to offer, and you see where premature physical relationships take you....nowhere fast. You don't need to repeat this behavior, not even once. Then these feelings of self doubt will soon flee as you become more self confident and pleased with yourself and your conduct. You'll have reason to look in the mirror and smile! You will also project a sweet self confidence when you meet people....and a potential guy won't assume at all that you are some easy target, but instead, a remarkable woman with interests, ideas, and talents, and love to give....a force to reckoned with!! Someone he'd be proud to introduce to his mother! Best wishes. Give yourself a hug, and don't settle for so little, sister.

Answer 3

Science doesn't really have a definitive answer for why people are gay. It could be an issue with DNA from when you began developing. Some people argue that is could be psychological, like a trauma when you were young or over exposure to women... The later I have a tendancy to disagree with. I am gay and I'm 18, its not that bad, people WILL treat you badly in life, but once you accept yourself and learn to live with it regardless of what other people have to say, life does get a lot better. I spent TWO years trying to make myself straight, that **** doesn't happen. Your one friend that was gay for a year is either Bisexual or so full of **** it hurts. Personally I have taken being gay as a good thing. I came out to everyone at my school when I was in Grade 10... People were afraid to until I did. about 7 people came out in the following year. I had discussions with my principal and we implemented a zero tolerance policy on gay bashing. I did a research project on sexuality around the school and my sample indicated 10% of people were gay, I also got the highest mark EVER on a grade 12 exam for that project. Remember you're not alone with this and there is no definitive answer as to why people are gay. Its just an anomaly.

Answer 4

Well darling.Unfortanetly you cant recognize this stuff by looking.One thing you can do though.Make any potential boyfriend wait awhile for sex.
See how ho reacts to this.If he is a decent man he will wait.If not you really dont want him.
I am not talking about no year or anything.Just let it be known from the git go.You dont have to go into any detail.Just let them know you need to get to know a person first.There is nothing wrong with that.
Honestly most guys like me.A decent one.Would not mind waiting on the right girl.If I have sex with a girl on the first date.I would usually consider the girl a hoe and would treat her accordingly.Not mean.But just for sex.

Answer 5

i have that problem too (giving my all)
stop it! ppl realize you give your all and will take advantage if you don't put a limit to it.

i'd go with the first answer but i'm not religious, but find a guy who respects you from the get go. don't go all out until you know they will aswell mutually. this can be difficult since you believe guys are attracted to you just for sex so you may put up your guard.

i'm not sure how you dress or how you carry yourself but both those send sign to males. i'm not sayin change your whole life and deminor but where ever you look for men stop going there let men come to you, and you be the judge be a friend for a good 6months see both sides of him.

-pz-

Answer 6

...You can't stop any man from being attracted to you darling...( you're probably very physically attractive hun...that's not your fault ) but you can effectively use an element of choice and selection of your own choosing to keep bad or distasteful men out of your own element. Life liberty and the pursuit of happiness are all choices we make for ourselves hun. You make your own satisfaction,...and you make your own disappointments as well. Nobody else does that for ya darling...you do it for yourself...and only you! Who knows more about what you want then YOU sweetie. Choose wisely...and then kick back and enjoy the fruits of your own good mentality hun. You're responsible for everything that happens to YOU seriously. Otherwise they're called mistakes accidents and negative forces babe. Try to find the positive sensibilities of everything darling. You'll sleep much more peaceably and soundly at night if you do! Are we cool on this natural order of stuff hun?

Answer 7

Listen to that new Beyonce and Shakira song Beautiful Liar. Learn. Get confidence. DO NOT take CRAP. Usually the bad seed is noticed sooner or later. Get out when you feel he might be manipulating you. Enjoy in who you are and do not care much about men. The right one will come to you. Act like you don't care. They will be piling up for your attention. Men ARE dogs. But also be sure not to give a hard time to a nice guy. It's tough, but you will get a hang of it if you care about yourself first:).

Answer 8

Take time and analyze your bad relationships..what was similar in each, like the personality type of the guy, what drove you to be with the person...what I mean is, for example, I figured out that I always made the mistake and clung to the first person to show me any attention b/c I realized I had low self esteem, so, I changed how I looked at myself and that helped me avoid making the same mistakes in women, so, try that, and realize it will take some time, you may even want to see a therapist if you can not get the answers you need.

Answer 9

Sounds like you've been busy with your love life. When was the last time you stopped to just focus on you? These men hit you at your core, deceived you to get what they wanted and then jilted you. Its time to focus on you and worry about no one else for the time being. Discover who you are, figure out all the reasons why you are a great person and break negative patterns of thinking about the insignificant ex. Go back to doing what you love most in life. Keep a note pad and log every time you think about the ex so you can tell yourself to not think about that person anymore since it is unhealthy, going forward. The best way to get over him is to celebrate yourself.

Answer 10

Don't have sex with them until you know they are what you want to spend your life with, and they are committed to you as a person. Go out on "safe" dates with guys. Like to the movies (at the theater, not a video at one of your houses), go out to eat, go for coffee, a walk in the park, etc. Only go places where sex isn't going to happen. This will give both you and the guy you are seeing time to actually get to know each other before you reach the bedroom, instead of trying to find out who each other are after the bedroom.