why do guys not like this?

Question

why do guys get mad when a girl asks a friend to tell him she likes him or wants to go out with him? i have read a couple of other peoples questions about this happening, and i went through the same thing. i like a guy at work but was too shy to tell him and got nervous when i talked to him, couldnt think of what to say. so i had a couple friends tell him, thinking maybe he'd start talking to me and i could ask him if he wanted to go out sometime. but he didnt like that and apparently a couple other people had the same thing happen. why is it so bad to have a friend talk to a guy for you? i dont see what the big deal is. people say that its immature but why? im 29 and i just thought it would help break the ice, so that he'd already know i liked him and then i wouldnt have to try to tell him myself and stumble over my words with a bright red face and a bunch of "um, um, uh, i...uh"?? so why do you guys not like a friend letting you know for a girl???

Answer 1

Some guys like to stay private having your friends come up to him might have embarrested him, You would be better off writeing a note or letter to the guy as they don't mind those as much.
Also there is the other part of it , maybe your friend(s) said something or overly made a big deal out of it then he would of wanted and you don't know exactly what they said to him, in any event friends are good but not for discussing that kind of thing to a male that you like as alot of things could get mixed up in it. Writeing anote or letter or talking to him your self would be better, as you and he would only know the results,
If a friend of yours came up to hima nd said the worng thing, or he just wasn't interested then it would be apparent, Maybe write him a letter asking if that bothered him and that you are sorry , would ease the tension, telling him yourself in the letter with your words, would be above all better, and may fix the problem as Men have a hard time believe with out actually seeing it them themselves, they are afraid of rejection and if this friend did talk to him and he took the chance to act upon it and you rejected him or buffed him off, then he would be damaged so he isn't going to jump on it for that reason and that reason alone.

Answer 2

b/c that is what junior high girls do. If your 29 and can't ask the guy out he probably won't want to date you b/c you have no self confidence and no guy wants to get into a mess with a low self conifidence guy. The biggest turn on for a guy is a woman with self confidence. I'm a 26 year old female and I've learned since Junior high that it doesn't matter what you look like as long as you act like your all that he will think so too. I'm sure you are "all that" so go out there and ask him yourself next time.

Answer 3

Sometimes it's ok, But I know I always get a creepy feeling knowing that people are discussing me when I'm not around. Plus it makes the girl in question seem a little immature. I'd expect this from a 14 year old, not a 29 year old.

Answer 4

well I'm not a guy but I'll give my best guess. Asking a friend to talk to a guy at 29 yrs. old is immature and I'll tell you why. It's reminiscent of what high school kids do. You might as well have handed him a note that said Do you like me? Check yes or no. Guys like women who are upfront with their feelings and are confident. Asking a friend to talk to him first rarely breaks the ice, just makes the guy think this girl doesn't have the guts to tell me herself, she must not have much confidence. Who wants to date someone like that? I know it's hard to talk to guys you like, but next time try to initiate the conversation yourself. Guys are sometimes really flattered when a girl stammers and stumbles over her words in his presence, makes him feel "manly". On mine and my husband's first date I was so tongue tied! But we went on to have a wonderful relationship. Just be yourself girl and talk to him!

Answer 5

Hi there. I grew up with 2 brothers and have many close guy friends. They are freaked out if a girl gets her friend to talk to them. They want a girl who is confident enough to do it themselves. One of my brothers always had girl's friends come up to him and that really turned him off. He would tell me that it felt like junior high all over again. He ended up marrying a girl that had the guts to go up to him herself.

Answer 6

i had the same proublem. I think that guys get mad because your friends asks him all the time. in 5th grade a guy liked me and liked him so i asked him if he wanted to go out. he asked do you want to, but instead of saying yes i shrugged my shoulders. the next day he told everyone that we were going out. But i told my friends the real story. the next week the roumers that were going around about victor and me were going out had died down. my friends were steal asking him if he was going to go out with me. the next day he didn't like me. at least he showed no sighns of it.

Answer 7

I am in a similar situation and when my friends offered to talk to him for me, I refused. It is, I guess, a little immature, but I think I rather him talk to me or vice versa. I rather let nature or something take care of us meeting or dating. It should just happen. I know, I know, crazy right? But I just rather it happen on it's own...

Answer 8

Hmmmm, sound like to me that he was once in your shoes once of point in time. He might have ask his friend to ask the woman that he was interesting in her and would like to go out. I think women would like a man to come up to her himself to ask her out instead through someone else. So, she might have chew him up and spit him out by not been a man to ask her out himself. This painful lesson is hard to forget, so he might feel that you should be woman enough to ask for yourself. Myself I don't have any problem with it. If he likes you a lot he should understand why you did it that way. I think it cute when a shy person trying to ask the person of interest out. Big Smile....wink...

Maybe you should ask this question to your fellow female. Which would they prefer the guy to come up to her to ask her out or would they rather have a friend to ask for him.

Answer 9

Could be he's shy, or likes you but has a girl, in either case a guy doesn't think it's anybodies business but his and yours.

Answer 10

Feelings are private.
Adding a friend adds unneeded pressure.
Be confident,it's much more attractive.