I love my ex-boyfriend, and I understand where he's coming from, but should I talk to him?

Question

My ex-boyfriend is much younger than I am. We had a wonderful, close sincere love, but something terrible happened to it when we did not really realize that we were both serious about each other. Since, we have both been making various attempts at getting back together, but the distance has been too great and the hurt too profound. After talking again for the first time in a year, many of the old feelings came back, but also, on my end, the insecuirty of not speaking for a year, and on his, a tendancy to overrationalize and not really be open. Because of my maturity, I feel that I have had to really take on more, sometimes, than I am comfortable with, but this last argument has allowed me to come to terms with losing him, which in turn has allowed me to really forgive him for the first time.

I do not know if it is a good idea for me to reach out to him again, but in my heart, I no longer feel anger for him. He can be self-cenetered, but also, he can be very giving. What do you think?

Answer 1

Move on.
Is that not the MATURE thing to do?

Answer 2

There's really not enough information. What did he do cheat on you? I gues I'll answer based on that assumption. He's much younger huh? There is absolutely nothing wrong with one person being much older than the other as long as both are of consenting age. What often happens though is as the older one gets older the younger one becomes less and less attracted to them. This makes the younger one much more prone to cheat. This isn't right, but it's life. Be sure that this guy really does love you enough to stay with you. Though it may be tough. You are too close to the situation and are obviously pretty emotional. You should approach this situation from a logical standpoint and not an emotional one. Emotional standpoint have their place, but in a situation such as this logic usually prevails. Don't get so caught up in the feelings of love that you blind yourself to something that you would have seen if you were thinking with your head and not your heart. Despite what all the love stories and sappy poems say the heart can often lead you astray.

Answer 3

younger guys arent always the best. no he needs to grow up. seems like since hes younger and your older he trying to act more mature then he is right now. (hey give him a lil credit he is a guy and hes trying) but really try someone your age or close to it. younger guys arent so good. try older. i think the more u think about him u lose all the anger towards him. hey u can only hate for so long. u probably blame the whole thing on yourself dont unless it truelly is! blaming yourself solves nothing! my advice let him come to u. if he wants to give it another try leave him come to u. then decide if he is really worth all this pain and confusion again.

Answer 4

You've answered your own question without realizing it; your insecurities say it all. To take him back would only, in the end, culminate in the exact same way. Do you really want to put yourself though all that again?
My advice, stay friends if you wish, but end the romantic involvement and move on to some one else.

Answer 5

It sounds like you've made the biggest step toward getting over him, and ridding yourself of some of the emotional baggage of your past relationship.

You have to decide if he's changed at all -- because if he hasn't, the mistakes are just going to repeat if you look for another relationship with him. You may be better off slating this under "lesson painfully and sincerely learned" and taking that experience to your next relationship.

Answer 6

I think you are letting old feelings take control, time to step back and remember why you broke-up is it worth it to maybe happen again ?

Answer 7

you have forgiven him, now move on