I have 3 Kids. But i am finding hard to control my four year old son. He is wild, and i dont know what to do.?

Question

I took him to the doctor, because he got so bad he was attacking me and everyone in his path. He wont eat, sleep, sometimes he soils himself. the doctor said it is a vast that he is going through and that he grow out off it, but my son is like this two and half years and it is only getting worse, i feel like i am going to lose it with him sometimes. I love all my children, but i spend most off my time with son, running around after him and making sure he is not hurting his sister he picks on her alot because she is the baby. Does anyone have a bit off advice on what to do please.

Answer 1

First thing is get a second opinon your doctor seems not to be experienced in this field. It seems your son maybe have behaviour problems thats not entirely his fault for many different reasons. You havent said if your son fall in the middle somewhere this can play an important part in behaviour. If he goes to pre-school does he have a Individual Behaviour Plan when he starts being aggressive. Sometimes we forget that children get depressed are unhappy about certain things. its vital u get someone else involved he may have special educational needs which will be looked at by the school. Please dont give up on your son perhaps ask hi to help with little tasks around the house. Always praise for the good instead of allowing him to only see you pay attention for the negative things his doing. I sincerely wish you luck but please seek other professional advice

Answer 2

I'd be inclined to go along with Richard and start with the diet , I'm a great believer in omega 3 for helping with many issues - a friends boy couldn't speak and was real handful, never listening or sitting still (aged two and a few months) within a fortnight of daily omega 3 this was all improving greatly.
The best one (highest EPA/DHA) that I have found is called Eskimo Kids (from health food shop) it is an oil and I mix the right amount into a set jelly every night at bathtime - what a treat!
I make the jelly using a favourite drink (oasis) and something called vegigel (tescos baking department) to avoid the geletine. But it would probably mix with yoghurt okay.
Lots of children will just swallow it anyway - it tastes like bubblegum.
Unless he has a fish allergy - it can't hurt to try it!

Answer 3

I have been down that road, Our son is now 5 and from time to time still does the same thing, please do not medicate him with ADHD medications unless it is completely necessary. I know it is hard but try to be patient after we got our son in preschool he is so calm in school and when he gets home he turns into the wild little man. Our son takes up more time correcting him and making sure he does not pinch sister. Your son may feel like that is the only way he can get your attention(I don't mean you don't give him any) but some children are seeking attention and it takes us forever to figure out what it is they need, my son likes that 1 on 1 attention even if it only lasts 15 minutes cartoons calm him down but we do not overdue it, just make sure you let him know you are the boss but be very patient it will get better, not every child that is active needs to be medicated, our son still soils himself sometimes when he gets to playing he will not take time out to use the restroom that will pass to. Good luck and remember patients will take you a long way.

Answer 4

You need to go back to your doctor, or if you aren't happy with that, ask for a second opinion. Your boy might be allergic to something, like E numbers, or is having a psychological problem that needs to be dealt with now before things get worse for him and you.

If you are getting to the end of your tether then your doctor should be doing a lot more for you and him. Don't let them fob you off. You fight for your boy and your family. Some medical people aren't doing their jobs properly and you need to wake them up.

It isn't normal for a 4 yr old to be behaving as he is. And you are also worried about the affect on your other children, too. You are right to be concerned and are doing great in moving forward with this.

All the best.

Answer 5

Take your son to a pediatrician and make sure you have a list of all of the behaviors thta are causing you a concern. You should also try to get an evaluation for early childhood intervention through a licensed preschool. They can go over several developmental assessments to determine which skills your son is delayed in and can begin working on remediating those skills to help him be ready for kindergarten.

Answer 6

You may want to consider taking him to another doctor to get a second opinion. otherwise, i'd say sit him down and talk with him on his level & in words he'll understand. just you & him, no one else to distract you or him. find out if he knows what he's doing is wrong or if he's just seeking attention from you, which could very well be the case if he's the middle child. Let him know these behaviors aren't okay and work together with him to decide what he thinks should happen when he misbehaves. children tend to do better when they have a role in their discipline... time outs should be 4 minutes, one minute for each year.

not knowing if you're one for corporal punishment or not, but if he's physically injuring his little sister than you may want to consider it

Answer 7

you can spend alone time with your oldest son .. take him to park or play catch or something he like to enjoy... He maybe wanted attention from you and that you have two other kids to look after... Or talk to him and tell him that you need his help to raise other two babys and if still out of control explain to him that he showing bad influences to his youngers sister and brother.. start like rules at home and entain him at home.. and he is good he get stick and he collects and he get prize... or he get new toy.. Do with all three kids.. it fun..
(i have seen that on Nanny show and that kid is 7 )

You should watch the Nanny shows... It help you understand how to take care of a lot of kids...
I do not have kids but i am expecting but i learn from what i see on tv and from growing up....
Never spoiled.. GIve love...

Answer 8

Something I read about having 3 children, besides having 3 children will send you family for a loop, when you plan outings or entertainment at home it seems that the choice alot of parents make it to accommodate the oldest child or the youngest child and the middle child's opinions get drowned out. He's has a lot of energy and should be taken for a walk at least twice a day. and a lot of positive coaching on what to do with all his energy is nessisary. sometimes they hunger for knowlege. and learning things acctually tires them out too.

He has been getting response by acting out. try not taking to much time in responding to bad behavior.

as for the soiling himself, when my daughter was 4 (middle child) she would wet her pants right in front of me. It made it hard to work when I would have to pick her up at daycare before nap time, because she would wet herself after nap time and bring her to work with me. This really stressed us out.
But on 9/11 I realized that a 4 yr old little girl wetting her pants was hardly a problem compared to the big problems we have in the world. I was just thankful my family was okay.
And just as soon as I stopped making a big deal of her wetting her pants, she stopped. just like that. I was amazed. I dont know why..maybe it was just a power trip on her part.lol

Now as far as hitting baby, ask him how he would like it? and to remember we should treat others how we would like to be treated. Also, (I know this might sound stupid) Sit him down with some classic Barney videos. Even if he says "Barney is for babys" He'll stop and watch. Barney puts my youngest, the roudy one,(5)in a good mood and he actually likes to practice what he has learned. And baby and you will like it too and will give you guys a little something in common.
Have you noticed children in jr high. 12,13,14 years old were on the Barney scene as toddlers? They have turned out to be a very special group

Answer 9

sounds like he is attention seeking try and ignore hie bad behaviour but if he is good no matter how small a thing really praise him and make a fuss when he is good
another thing children don't like isolation, so if he is naughty separate him from everyone else, send him to bed
keep this up and he will soon get the message
if it doesn't work back to the GP and insist he is properly assessed
school will calm him down a lot too

Answer 10

see anouther docter

get somthing he likes ie crisps raisons and say every mouthful of dinner you eat you get a crisp dont give him snacks in between meals and if he doesnt eat what you give him dont give him somthing else you need to stick to it nothing else untill the next meal he might be hungry but stick it out and it works trust me ive been there.


with sleep do the "rapid return" were if he gets out of bed first time say bed time go to sleep scond time shshshsh after that nothing.

if hes violent to strangers that has got to stop you need to get to his leval hold his arms and say NO you do not kick or w/e them say i want you to say sorry then put him on a rist strap for 4 mins then say are you going to be a goodboy then every time he runs of etc do it again and if it still doesnt smack his bottem and say you are being a naughtey boy then put himon the strap

soiling pants just dont say anything just clean him up or you could try what i am with my 3 yr old- putting her in pull ups untill she stops soiling her knickers she doesnt like them because she is a 'big girl' but shes learning and shes getting the idea of use the toilet or you have to where 'little girl' pants

stick to your guns ive been there and the problem is basically gone now it takes time but remeber your not alone:)