Is it too late for me or what?

Question

My wife left me, and the kids two months later she lied in court and now she has custody. I have visitation but last time it cost me jail time and two restraining orders a year of court appearrances. Thats when she asked me to watch the kids. Its been a year and a half. No job, lost my license, child support, debt, facing jail time because of the restraining orders, my family is distancing themselves from, I dont know what to do anymore. Plus the only person I had isnt talking to me. I cant picture myself looking back at this day and laughing about it like all the other problems I had. I cant do things I used to. It affects me while having sex. Im forced to stay inside cuz i dont want any problems with the sheriffs here and no car. Right now Im by myself but I was around a friend of mine and her kids. But now thats coming to an end. I didnt go to domestic violence classes and I might go to jail. I couldnt afford it and had no transportation. For me to ask this on yahoo...

Answer 1

Dude... sounds like a typical week for me. No biggie. Break out the credit card, run up a 4-figure tab a strip club and enjoy yourself. Head down to Florida with the rest of us... half the state is just like you.

Answer 2

I hesitate to wade into this, but it sounds like you need a friend and some good practical advice. I can't see why any visit to see your children should have resulted in jail time. What are all the restraining orders about? What has your behavior been? What aren't you telling us here? Unresolved issues between you and your wife should not cloud the time you have to be with your children; nor should angry outbursts or threats to their mother....things which prompt a person to pursue protection orders. How did a nice guy like you end up in a mess like this? You say you are staying inside to avoid the sherriff, but unless you're borrowing trouble everywhere you go, that sounds pretty ridiculous. This ain't the wild, wild west, dude. Unless you go around borrowing trouble, a sheriff is not assigned to you personally. You could've hopped a bus to domestic violence classes, or hoofed it all the way, for that matter. In fact, it might have helped you release something that sounds like pent up anger. Don't make excuses. Something has led to this need for counseling. Be honest with yourself and call someone in the system who might still be able to get you in classes. You need to turn a corner, but more importantly, you need to do some real soul searching about the future of your children and the role you will/or will not play in their lives. It's really up to you. Are you willing to make the sacrifice, to do the work, to consider your part in this.....to be a better man, a better father, and a better person...for their sake and for your own future, which isn't looking very bright at the moment. Sounds like you've been in a slide for a long while, and you aren't being forthright with all the details.Why isn't an able bodied man working somewhere? How did you lose the license? Why is your family keeping a distance? Each of these questions needs an honest answer. I urge you to stand up on your own two good feet, get to the classes, and get busy becoming a man who can look himself in the mirror with a sense of accomplishment. You have a life now full of regret; get busy making some changes that will head you in another direction. It starts within you. Have some self respect and determine you can make a better way for your kids ....and be a father who learns from his mistakes and becomes someone they may eventually come to love and respect. Woudn't that feel wonderful? Are you out the door yet? Get going. Your life is waiting.

Answer 3

It's not whether you get knocked down, but whether you get back up!....There's one solution..and the only way is through. The sooner you jump in to work through the problelm, the sooner you'll be out of it! These are just hurdles that you are having to go through right now! We've all made mistakes, but that doesn't make us bad people! No, you probably will not look back at this situation and laugh, but you will most likely look back at it and say "I'm a stronger person for going through that"! Start with one tiny step at a time..it won't happen over night, but it will happen! It sounds like the first step is the domestic violence classes. Sign back up for this THIS WEEK. If you have trouble getting there, call the sherrifs department...explain and tell them you need transportation. They may come and get you! They are there to protect and serve...and help out the community!. You can do this...if you didn't want to or didn't care, I don't think you'd air your dirt on yahoo!!!

Answer 4

No, i'ts never too late. Although I don't know what your goals are.
First, you have to get the domestic violence classes under control. Ask your family for help to finance this - and pay them back. Phone the classes and explain your predicament - that you can't get there and see if they can suggest anything.
Otherwise, if you go to jail, you go to jail.
It's time you grew up and took your responsibilities like a man. You've obviously got anger issues and until this is under control, you're in a mess.
It's time you had a long hard look at your life and got it under control It doesn't have to be this way - you've chosen this path.
It's time to get off and walk the walk of a good man, a responsible man. You've finished being a kid. Make your kids proud.

Answer 5

No...my advice is to try opening a Bible. The book will not do it all but the contents is a gift that will *assist* you on your walk in life. For people that stumble or do not understand the contents they should do what they learned in school - cross reference. I know many don't like to hear it but we do reap what we sow...however, prove to me there is no such thing as out with the old man and in with the new. A dead man walking can come alive. There are some who may not want this of you especially if you have become their favorite pass time in a negative sense but then there is the rest of life which should include your children when and if you choose to seek leadership skills. The first step is to admit to yourself...second step is to get to work towards a solution.

Answer 6

i dont know what you did to have 2 restraining orders, but since i work in family court...it's bad news! if you wanted the best for your children you would not had violated your restraining orders...thats a no no with any judge, and even moreby not going to domestic violance classes you are seen like someone that does not give a dam, and not a fit parent for the kids to have around!! and please get a good attorney, you will need it,dont think about you!! its about the kids you brought to this world!! shame!

Answer 7

you sound as if you have hit a wall and can't get around it but you can if you don't ever give up.I don't know all your circumstances,but I know that if you give up things can get worst.Last month my younger sister died who was disabled at 18 and I was caring for her and my daughter with 9 kids got evicted and everything in my life seemed to be ganging up on me.There were many more issues but what I am saying so badly is when shi* gets so out of control that you just don't see any solution at hand then you may as well fall on your knees and let God handle the battle that's seemingly out of your hands.Sometimes when things go wrong we try to right them but nothing seems to work so I say it must be Gods battle so I surrender my self and say You handle all this mess Lord,and He always does.I know this sounds weird,but I tell you one month ago I thought my life was turning inside out but The Lord always comes when I need Him most.Try prayer for real.

Answer 8

You may not like my answer but you need a relationship with
Jesus Christ. We all make choices and they get us into trouble.
There is a principle in the Bible of reaping and sowing, people
today call it, what goes around comes around. We are all
responsible to our own actions. I'm not saying the Lord will
change what you are going through, but what I am saying is
He will help you deal with your problems. Plus, in this world
we are just passing through. No one has gotten out alive. To
have a relationship with Christ, you need to believe that He
is God of very God. He died for you and paid for your sins
and mine and every person who every lived or will live. Place
your faith in Him. The Father, The Son and The Holy Spirit.
Then find a church that teaches sound Bible Doctrine, not
a clappy-happy church. One that is serious about studying
God's Word. That's my answer.

Answer 9

Contact your lawyer and get this mess straightened out. If you could handle this by yourself, you would have. Otherwise, you're just spinning your wheels and becoming more "stuck" by the minute.

Step up and take care of these problems. Each time you solve one, the others will become easier to solve.

Get moving!

Answer 10

I can't comment on what has gone wrong and stuff.. but you sound like you really need to pull yourself together.. you talk about losing so many things.. and not being able to do this and that.. but you've got hands and feet.. which means you're still an able person.. pick yourself up and build up your life again.. it's never too late..