Do you spank your child?

Question

and were you spanked as a child? Do you feel your parents form of punishment has an influence on how you discipline your kids?

I guess I should have clarified, i'm not talking about were you beaten or do you 'beat' your child. Spanking never really hurt me, just showed who was really in charge. My reason for asking is that my niece and nephew are time out children and so incredibly disrespectful to their parents and others. I find that odd because their parents and I were spanked and we have the utmost respect for our parents. When they get a time out they act as if they could really care less. I would have never dreamed of waiting to find out what happened after my mother counted to 3. There was smoke coming off my feet after 1. When people say spanking is a last resort that doesn't really make sense to me. If your child showed you respect and knew who was boss wouldn't listen without having to take multiple steps of discipline. I know kids are not angels and dont' always listen, but if you tell them no and they keep doing it, seems a pop on the butt would take care of it.

I'm really not just looking for people to agree with me, i'm just curious if some people resented being spanked and that's why they will not do it to their children.

Answer 1

I was rarely spanked, and only when young. I don't recall it having any effect on my behavior - my parents stopped trying at all around age 12.

I do not spank, I do not give time-outs, I punish with removal of privileges/coveted items. And it works great for us.

Answer 2

I agree with Survivor, and Squiddy.

I am particularly impressed by what Brian S. has to say. He has learned from his own experiences in positive ways. It sounds like he's encouraged his children to think for themselves,. They have critical thinking and inquisitive minds-the very vision I have for my 5 and an half year old son and second child on the way.

Spanking can create blind obedience, as Brian S. has said. That is a dangerous thing. Defense mechanisms can also be manifested, which do not serve well when a person becomes an adult. Sometimes the damage cannot be undone either. I was spanked as a child and I had to go through a lot of work to change my way of thinking and dealing with problems. I am far from being the perfect parent, but I hold that vision of what an ideal parent should be, and I make every effort to become that.

Answer 3

Hi. I am the father of 3 kids (10, 7 and 5) and they have never been spanked.

My parents have never spanked my siblings and I. My mother was raised by parents who believed spanking was a legitimate way of disciplining kids, while my father was raised by a family who thought spanking or any form of physical punishment was violence.Having been brought up this way definitely influenced the way I decide to raise my kids. Both, my sister and I are scholars, with PHD´s (my sister is doing her Post Doc right now), and my brother has his own business. So none of us turned criminals as many of the pro spanking people say.

We have a great relationship with our parents which does not involve fear. We were always encouraged to have a critical mind. My parents thought that blind obedience is quite harmful and creates people who are easily manipulated by authority figures.

My wife was raised in a pro- spanking house and even though she used to think that spanking did her little harm, she is starting to notice that she came out with defense mechanism to deal with her childhood memories. She also realizes now that her relationship with her parents is based on fake consent.

My kids are normal kids, they do right and wrong things. We are very present parents and work hard on helping them become critical thinking, aware, respecting citizens. We learn a lot from each other. My kids are A students, and not because of threats, but because their inquisitive minds is always encouraged.

Answer 4

Sometimes you have to spank your children. My sister doesn't spank her child and he is very disrespectful. My children are spanked but not very often and with an open hand on the bum. We tried the time out thing and it just doesn't always work. So when it doesn't work that is when they get spanked. My dad used to beat my brothers with whatever he could find and they never hit their children. My one brother lets his wife be the one to discipline cuz he is afraid of what he would do to them. So in a way I guess that my parents influenced him.

Answer 5

I was spanked as a child, and lived through it, and can say I deserved it each time. I didn't do the same with my three kids because never wanted to be accused of being abusive. I think spanking is good, but as long as it is very limited because kids seem to get having a smack on the butt more than being talked to if totally out of control.

Answer 6

No I do not spank my children. Yes I was spanked by my parents although I think what my parents did was closer to abuse than spanking and Yes what my parents did to me did influence how I discipline my children.

Answer 7

I don't spank my toddler and I certainly don't spank my almost 12 month old. With my three year old we use the 1-2-3 Magic book by Thomas W. Phelan. My parents did spank me and I'm not sure if this affected my decision to not spank as a form of discipline. We don't use discipline to punish really but as a way of correcting bad behavior and teaching good behavior.

Answer 8

I have said this many times. Yes spanking works. I am only 14 and i Know I better not upset my parents or I get a spanking. I hate them. That is why it works so well.

Answer 9

There are going to be times when spanking is appropriate. Although there are other ways of handling issues I feel that in more serious cases it is necessary. My father whipped me with a leather belt when I was disobedient. I disagreed with that decision as a child but now that I am an adult with children of my own...yes spanking is not abuse if done correctly and on a consistent level. Be spanked as a child made me grow up with respect for others and I realized that my bad behavior would be faced with the consequences of a spaking as a child and now as an adult I have the same respect for authority figures and rules that we as productive members of society are forced to abide by.

Answer 10

I was spanked as a child (Very few times) and never after about age 7...after that grounding was used. My son gets 1 quick pop on the behind only if he is doing something dangerous. Other than that a time out in the corner in his booster chair works just fine.