My son doesn't want to go to school any more its a constant fight.?

Question

Up until this year my 8 year old son has loved school..... I believe the problem lies with his teacher. In his own words "I Hate her", and I can't say I agree with her teaching methods either. For example: He had to complete a 4 page math assignment and when He and 3 other boys did not put their names on them she called them to the front of the class and ripped them up and asked them to do them again......I have tried talking to the teacher and she blames the students.....if they are unhappy.... I have talked to the principal and he states it is too late in the school year for him to transfer to another class..... So my question is what can I do to motivate my son into completing the year and Get the grades I know he is cappable of (his grades are dropping since Xmas)? He only has a few months left and I don't want to see him fail because of conflict with the teacher....Any suggestions?

This great teacher, some of you have stated should also know she accused my son of having ADD (Atention Deficet Disorder) and told me I should have him checked..... He was and Doctor told me she should be checked There is NOTHING wrong with my son . She does not have the capability to motivate most of the children ..... Children need praise and guidance to succeed reguarless of age. My son is involved in numerous sports, martial arts, music and peer groups as aleader and is well liked by others. This is the ONE and ONLY person he has EVER said he hates....Hate is a very strong word..... He genuinly feels she does not care about him...... He was wrong for not writing his name but the dicipline was a bit extreem, She did not need to embarase him and the other boys in front of the class.

Answer 1

Can you contact some of the other parents in the class. Sometimes there is strength in numbers. Is there a possibility of switching schools? If it were my child I believe I would park myself in front of the principal's office until he switched classes anyway.
Failing all that, use this as an opportunity to teach your son about the fact that he is going to come into contact with disagreeable people all his life and some of them are going to have authority over him. Role play ideas with him about how he can get through without attracting too much of her attention. Teach him about doing his best for himself, not letting the bad people get him down. Maybe you could even create a reward system for going to school without a fuss and doing his best work.
More than anything, love him and let him know you're on his side. And tell him to hang on, summer's coming.

Answer 2

Wow. I really feel for you. This is a very rough situation. I suggest talking with him and telling him that you understand, explain to him that theres only a few months left of school so there's no way he can switch to another teacher. Then Bribe him. Offer him something that will make him get through this horrible experience. Tell him if he finishes the school year with no fight then there will be no chores for a month, or a brand new bike. Anything that will get his attention. I know your not suppose to bribe your kids but in this situation I think it is necessary.

*The child is 8 and does not or will not understand that he needs an education at this time or how important it is. It is so important at that age to show kids that school can be fun but that's awful hard when your teacher is such a winch. He needs to also understand that all teachers are not like that so he doesn't get that impression to not care about what his teachers in the future have to say. I wish you the best of luck.

Answer 3

This is such a difficult situation; I'm sorry your son has to go through this! Continue talking to your son about the importance of school, and remind him the year is almost over, and things will be better next year with a new teacher. I would speak to the principal again, about the inappropriateness of the teachers reactions, and ask what his suggestions would be to get your son through the rest of the year. I would also meet with the teacher, and find out what she views as weak areas for your son, and what her suggestions would be to improve, whether it is organization, getting work in on time, etc. Take notes during both conversations, and reiterate to the principal and the teacher any points they make that seem important. Following the conversation(s), map out a plan of action with your son - basically a survival plan - a series of checks and balances to be sure everything is done correctly. You may also want to make copies of his work, prior to turning it in, so if there is an additional issue with homework, he doesn't have to start over. If you are not satisfied with the result of your conversation with the principal, contact your superintendent or school board. I wish you and your son well.

Answer 4

So, let me get this straight. It is the teacher's fault because she expects the students in her class to be responsible for their work? Since when? Ok your son had a 4 page math assignment, he should have made sure that everything was completed as far as class rules were concerned, obviously he didn't. It is not the teacher's fault the other boys didn't follow the rules. Those are the ones to blame here. By the time they are 8-9 years old their school work should be the kid's responsiblity, not the teacher's. I say put the responsiblity on your son...tell him that getting to school and his work are HIS responsiblity, if he fails there will be consequences....let him know that if he fails he will be left behind while his peers move forward. That's life.

Answer 5

I had the same issue with my son who was in grade 7 at the time. I could not find a way to motivate him, as he thought any effort he put forward with this teacher would be useless. So I went to speak to the teacher and tried a different tact. I asked the teacher what his excpectations were of my son in his classroom. He proceeded to go on a rant about how the students were disrespectful, how he spent so many hours working over and above his scheduled time and so on. I listened without interuppting, and when he was done, I calmly repeated back ina few short sentences what I heard his frustrations to be. He acknowledged that I heard him correctly, and then he was calmer. I then asked again how my son was not meeting his expectations, and now that he was calm, and didn't see me as on the attack, he admitted that my son wasn't actually the problem per say. He apologized and assured me that he would not only speak to my son, but that he would visibly change his approach and it worked. Once my son saw the difference in attitude, he strove to show his teacher his best. Good Luck, and remember to stay calm and really listen.

Answer 6

I would suggest discussing this with the principal again... i don't care what time of the year it is, your child is unhappy and it sounds like the teacher really needs to find a new profession. it's inappropriate in any grade to call children out and embarass them like that, and if your principal doesn't get that then maybe you should bring it up at the next school board meeting. kids move in and out of classrooms all year long because of moving or whatever, needing a better teacher should be just cause for switching in this educator's opinion

Answer 7

Set up a meeting with the teacher and principal and talk about this. Ask for proof of bad grades (lack of work/knowledge), and ask for her to provide "positive" reinforcement - get agreement from the principal. Then, stay constantly involved with your kid everyday asking and listening about his day and giving him credit and rewards for the things/assignments he is getting right - and reinforcing any consequences with bad behavior/grades. Kids need their parents to be involved with their learning process and feelings.
Try giving your child a motivator, like : If he does well in school etc...he'll get to go to the movies to see his favorite, or he'll get that skateboard he's been wanting, or , he'll get to spend a whole entire day doing things he wants to do (whatever is the motivating factor for your kid).
If things still arent up to par with the teacher after a month or so, I'd write a strongly worded letter to the Superindendent with a carbon copy to the teacher and principal. Things will change after that.
Good Luck!!

Answer 8

The teacher was wrong for what she did, but I can see why she did it. She is trying to get them to take responsibility for their work. My niece, when she was in 5th grade (She had been getting really good grades) started failing, as were a lot of other kids in her class. The teacher would write on the chalkboard what the assignment was and when it was due. She would not give them a reminder (The date was kept up on the board), but when they did not turn in their assignment she would give them a failing grade. When the parents and kids complained the teacher said that they needed to take responsibility for their own work because she was getting them ready for the real world. Just talk to your son about being more careful with his assignments and make sure you are going over his homework with him before he turns it in.

Answer 9

What a horrible teacher. Bad-tempered, impatient and a disgrace to her profession. Not much sympathy for you from the principal either, it seems. That was a terrrible thing she did, humiliating the boys and making them do a 4-page math assigment again, just because they left their names off. They're only 8 for goodness sake. I think you should talk privately to the teacher and let her know how harsh you consider her to be and how unhappy she has made your son, and that you will be expecting her to soften her attitude towards your sensitive little boy, etc.
.

Answer 10

you need to be his advocate. what she did was unacceptable. sounds like it's time to make some noise in that school. she will continue her way of "teaching" until someone steps in and says -enough.if the principal won't help you by at least insisting she change, then take it to the board. talk to the parents of the other boys too. get their take on it. there is strength in numbers. good luck.