yeaterday my other half was moaning about money and told me not to spend too much of my student loan when i get next month. then he goes out and buys a £100 mp3 player. i blew up cos my loan goes on stuff that my daughter needs and stuff for my self ie books, clothes, train fares to uni, bills etc. i don;t expect him to support my daughter as her dad helps out.
the other half is off to two concerts and goes back home to ireland once a month to see his dad which is fine. he said he'd supported my decision to go to uni and i've nearly finished mu first year. am i being unreasonble?
2007-03-26 00:05:38 · 27 answers · asked by womble 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
tell him to piss off, what's it got to do with him how & when you spend your own money anyhow?
2007-03-26 02:06:15 · answer #1 · answered by Funky 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I say no. You're not being unreasonable. A couple means two. It is a partnership, and if part of the team is off doing it's own thing while reaping the benefits of the one being more responsible, the responsible party is going to start feeling more and more stepped on. My advice, let 'em know how you're feeling. If you don't speak up it will fester in you until you blow up big time. Set clear boundaries, like it's great that you're able to do things you enjoy doing, but I can't do much cause I'm .paying ___ with my money. I'd like to enjoy life a little too, how about helping out in ____ area. It sounds very textbook I know, but my point is don't live your life watching from the sidelines while someone else enjoys theirs. You are attempting to better you life and that of your daughter. While it is admirable he is supporting you in your decision, support is much more than saying, "It's OK", It's jumping in and keeping you motivated to keep going for it, picking up what you can't, and some of what you can just to give you a break. Hope this helps good luck.
2007-03-26 00:25:49 · answer #2 · answered by krazzysgirl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, been there and done that, too. Well, you've let off steam now, grit your teeth and get on with it. Soon you'll have finished your studying and have more money to play around with. But at the moment, you've got some strong ammunitionf or the next time he complains about your spending ...
2007-03-26 02:49:29 · answer #3 · answered by True Blue Brit 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yha it freaking matters girlfriend!!! YOU have to pay back that loan someday. Hypocrite snaps at you for spending and then he goes off and buys a new toy. You have a child to care for. Sounds like you may have 2 children right now.
Your student loan should be paying for your college expenses and such. Not MP3 players and items NOT pertaining to your schooling.
2007-03-26 00:13:39 · answer #4 · answered by OR 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him how u feel without blowing up at him. By the way if u can't tell him wat 2 do with his money than he sure as hell can't tell you. With you having responsibilities and all you should b able 2 spoil urself occasionally without him making u feel guilty. Plus u should get a baby sitter and go to these concerts with him. U deserve a night out too you know. All work and no play makes 4 a unhappy mum and girlfriend
2007-03-26 00:11:45 · answer #5 · answered by Kimberly S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you're not unreasonable. You don't complain about money and then buy a luxury item which you can get along without just fine.
Good luck with your studies, it is very difficult when you have to balance a home, daughter, other half and studying aswell.
2007-03-26 00:11:53 · answer #6 · answered by stoutseun69 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is your other half then I am assuming you two are married. THen he should be helping out with your daughter. Which would make her his step daughter.
Your student loan is for you and school. I know you want to spend some of it on her, but your other half should be helping out more.
NO you are NOT overreacting.
2007-03-26 00:47:40 · answer #7 · answered by LadyCatherine 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not overreacting. He cannot tell you what to do with your money then go and purchase something that he does not need. Is it a joint account? If you have separate accounts, then he has no reason whatsoever to have a go at you. it is not like you are out on the razz with your money, you are spending it as wisely as you can. Tell him that if he wants to preach to you about what you spend your money on then he should let you evaluate his financial status and tell him where he is going wrong! Typical male, one rule for you and another for him.
2007-03-26 00:17:36 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you are not - what a selfish pig. Your priorities are taking care of your daughter, yourself and getting through uni - he needs a kick up the backside
2007-03-26 00:09:32 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that it is your right to decide what you want to do with your money. Tell him to mind his on business.
Besides his behaviour is very selfish so DUMP HIM!!He isn't right for you.
What makes him think he could tell you what to do with your money when he himself goes and buys and ipod and keeping your from buying things like fares and necessities. You are using your money the way you think is appropriate and it is very brave of you to do what you did.
2007-03-26 05:16:57 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, he cannot tell you not to spend to much of your loan and then blow £100 on a gadget. What is that saying - One rule for one and one rule for another!
2007-03-26 20:31:12 · answer #11 · answered by Reb1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋