i wanna stop punishing myself for being not confident, how?

Question

one of my probs is that i dont like talkin about myself cause i hate it when ppl do, i find it funny and pathetic even if what they say is true, for instance, i dont like telling ppl about a guy who had a crush on me and the nice things he said, and i hate telling that the guy\girl who i thought hates me is saying VERY nice things about me behind my back. BUT, i know these typa things kinda help u when u feel a bit down sometimes, but i just feel pathetic if i said so, i always hate me unless someone else tells me they love\like me. everytime i preceived as non-confident i just hate myself more n more and punish myself, i dont eat, i dont talk to other ppl and i sometimes thing about suicide, and needless to say my self-esteem goes to below zero.
please help me, i wanna love myself no matter what, i dont other ppls opinion to affect my opinion about myself, i dont wanna care about the ones who dont care about me, i dont wanna look "pathetic"

Answer 1

i used to have very low self esteem, i hate talking about myself and problems and getting help from others...but in the end i talked, it took me about 10years to find someone i could talk to but i did and i feel hundreds better, i have a partner and have been with him for 7years, and although he makes me feel good there was still something missing...if someone cares about you you will know, dont be ashamed or scared to talk about your past, or guys that you fancied...you need to relax and learn to feel good about yourself...you dont need to tell anyone your life-story, you dont have to tell anyone anything about you at all, you just need to learn to feel comfortable with yourself....thats half the battle, once you get through that the rest will come easy for you...i too thought about suicide, even tried it a couple of times, i didnt eat either, i just wanted someone to notice and take interest....i know have the thoughts that if no-one likesme for who i am then thats their look out not mine....be yourself and good luck...i hope this some how helps you

Answer 2

I had low self-esteem: there is no quick fix. You just have to realise that most people are wrong in how they judge people, and that only you can find value in who you are. I ended up still not being confident, but enjoying that part of me: I find it preferable to someone who is confident. I am who I am, and you are who you are, so why not enjoy your flaws? After all, everybody else has ones which are worse. At least you can recognise your flaws, which is a lot more than other people can say who might be confident as anything.

Answer 3

It's hard not to let other people's opinion impact on you isn't it?

I don't think you lack confidence, I just think you like to keep some things private and this isn't a bad thing. I don't like to ask people questions about themselves as I think it's rude, so I come across as uninterested. Please don't beat yourself up over this. You're not pathetic at all I actually think you sound like a good friend who listens and thats a good quality. Please don't change for the sake of others - you are not pathetic.

Though I'm not the best qualified person to talk to about this.

Answer 4

Waking Up
Will is a broad term referring to the
motivating force behind an activity. In
humans, this motivating force is capable
of evolving through several operational
realms—instinctual, emotional, moral,
self-determined, and transcendental. This
evolution, however, is not inevitable.
Many individuals, and even whole soci-
eties, become entrapped in one
operational realm of will, which eventu-
ally can become the dominant influence
on their choices in life.
To avoid getting into a purely abstract
understanding of will, please do the fol-
lowing exercise, and pay particular atten-
tion to the motivational force that is mak-
ing the choices and decisions.

Answer 5

You need to have some middle ground. If you are too happy to hear someone say nice things about you, you'll be equally sad when you hear a negative comment about you. Read the following and other related articles or books you may find to increase your confidence: