HOW DO i TELL MY PARENTS ABOUT MY FORTHCOMMING CIVIL PARTNERSHIP ?

Question

I am gay and my family are all ok with it, me and my partner get along well with them all and they like him!

We live together in our own house and do regular everyday things, we both work hard and like to go out with friends, we don't however have many other gay friends and don't go to gay bars so all in all we are very much an ordinary couple except we are both blokes!

We have decided on a civil partnership and my partners family are great about it, only I am afraid to tell mine as I think my Dad would be very dissapointed!

How should I tell them>?

Answer 1

I don't think you can cut the mustard on this one. Afterall, they accepted you when you told them who you are, so there is no reason why they won't accept this. Your father may be disappointed, but he will come around because the love of a father for his son is not tied down by one issue, no matter how big.

You'll do fine.

Answer 2

Declan, I really don't think you have much to worry about. By the sounds of things you are one of the lucky guys. Your family accepts you and your boyfriend. You can actually take your bf home and to family get togethers. I think your civil partnership is just the next logical progression and I think that it will come as no surprise to your family.

As for disappointing your father, well I think he would of made that clear to you the day you came out or the day you took your bf home for the first time like my father did. So if he is cool with it now, I think he will be proud of you in that you are wanting to make a full commitment and stand up and say this is the man I'm spending the rest of my life with.

I think you would have a problem if you had my folks. What do you think my father will say when he eventually finds out that I am married? (I'm getting married in the next few weeks).

So all I can say is go for it. Be proud of you and your bf. I think it's great.
Congratulations and all the best.
in light and love
Nametse'
Oracle

Answer 3

hey.
well i would just like to say first that i think its great that u have been so honest with your parents, about being gay and having a partner. But the fact is that your civil partnership is coming up. and if your going to go ahead with it, then i think, yes, you should tell your parents. i mean, if they;re alright with you being gay and having a boyfriend, surely the next step would be some sort of partnership, whether you are gay or straight, that usually is the next step in a serious relationship and one that your father has probably thought about.
As for telling them, i think maybe you should tell your mother first, so that when you tell your dad, you will have some moral support. And lets face it, its always nice to have someone else on your team.
Do it gently. Ask your mother if she will slip civil partnerships into a conversation with your dad and see what he thinks about them. Better yet, do it yourself. Try asking him a "hypothetical" question about it. Something about how would he feel if one of his friends got a civil partnership etc, then just go from there.
Also, another tip for when you are talking to someone and trying to be kind etc, do NOT sit across from them because that just causes confrontation. sit NEXT to him, and talk in a low voice, matching his tone with yours.

oh and i know that this sounds really bad, but just remember, if your dad IS disappointed (very unlikely btw)
then its his problem
not yours
and he will just have to get over that cos if he really loves you, then he wouldnt care if you were planning on dressing up in drag and going to las vegas [not saying there is anything WRONG with that, btw, just giving an example of what a lot of closed-minded parents would disapprove of if their son told them that they were going to be working in las vegas and dressed in drag].
Hope that helped...

Answer 4

Would your father's disappointment really deter you from going forward, now that you have come so far with your partner? It's more a question of informing him, than taking his permission about the civil partnership. Make it a one-to-one discussion with your father, inform him about your plans, and that you'd be happy to have his blessings, but it's something you feel is very important to both you and your partner. Be straightforward about this, and be firm, but not impolite to your father. All the best, and congratulations :-)

Answer 5

Why don't you get you, your partner and all parents together to discuss it. That way your dad will have chance to see that your partners dad is ok with the partnership and also discuss his concerns with another father of a gay man, so he won't feel 'out of it.' Hope that helps and have a super day!!!!!!

Answer 6

Your dad's disappointment belongs to him and you don't even know if he will be disappointed. If he can see you are happy then surely he will be happy too. If your family accept your partner then I can't see what the problem is. Stop procrastinating, take a deep breath and tell them your good news. As long asyou are doing the right thing for you then if other people are less than delighted that's for them to deal with.

Answer 7

First of all Congratulations x

Second of all if your family already know you are Gay then the chances are they will be happy for you.

I think the best thing you can do is speak to your Dad, tell him that you are in love with your partner and that he makes you happy, tell him that you have thought through your decision properly and are ready to commit to the person you loveJust like your Dad did to your Mum.
The worse thing you could do is not tell your Dad and hope someone else does it for you, That would lose his respect for you and I imagine he would be hurt that you couldn't tell him yourself.

Good Luck, let us know how you get on

xx

Answer 8

Hi there Declan, Firstly, congratulations on your forthcoming civil partnership! :o)
Just tell your Dad how you would have told everyone else about it. Don't make a big deal out of it, ( even though you feel that it is) be brave, and try to stay calm, tell your Dad like it is. Then leave the ball in his court. If he is dissappointed, then hey what the hell eh? My Mum has told me point blank that she cannot handle my 'lifestyle.' That is her choice, and I have learned to deal with it. One of my favourite sayings is: 'The people that matter don't mind, and the people that mind don't matter!'
Have a wonderful day!!!!!!! :o)

Answer 9

I think that if you tell your father as if it were something you expect him to be really happy about, then he will be. Sure, he has some anxieties - that's what you're picking up and what's making you anxious that he'll be disappointed - but if you talk to the part of him that just loves you as you are and is bound to accept your choices, I think he'll come up trumps. My hunch is that in a few years' time he'll tell you he had an edge of disappointment at the time but he's so glad you were positive about it and now feels just as positive himself.

Answer 10

If your family is OK with it, I can't imagine there is any problem. If you are worried about your father's reaction, then you must in some way feel that he is NOT OK with it. But give him a little bit of credit. He will understand!