how do you like this poem i wrote it?

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how do you like this poem i wrote it?

line after line im more confused living in a dump with you
dieing inside
line after line im with you
dieing with you
hiding with you
line after line
living in hell
line after line
now your gone
line after line
all alone
dieing alone
line after line

2007-03-25 21:54:53 · 3 answers · asked by bik_ko 3 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Books & Authors

3 answers

Not too bad. the line "line after line" is repeated a bit TOO much. Repeating a line for dramatic effect is perfectly fine, but don't overuse it!

2007-03-25 22:12:18 · answer #1 · answered by Skippy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋

Sounds good! Like a rap song. You should set it to music.

2007-03-26 05:02:16 · answer #2 · answered by webitgrl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋

cool

2007-03-26 05:29:57 · answer #3 · answered by Analyst 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋