How is the best way to tell a 10 year old about her period. My stepdaughter is getting to that age where she needs to know, but her mother wont tell her, and I dont want her to freak when she goes to the bathroom one day and there is blood in her panties. I'm really nervous about telling her, mainly because I think it should come from her mother, but her mother just dosent seem to care.
2007-03-25 20:55:32 · 10 answers · asked by princess_bluerose 2 in Health ➔ Women's Health
starrwoode: her mother really does not care, the kids basicaly live with a babysitter all the time. The mother didnt even take her shopping for her first bra the grandmother did, and it didnt even fit her. I took her and got her sized and bought her a bra that fit
2007-03-25 21:05:39 · update #1
milatary gal: The mother is making it my job by not being there for her own child, plus it is my husbands idea that i tell her
2007-03-25 21:08:04 · update #2
milatary gal: BTW "JUST THE STEP-MOM" I love those kids like they were my own!!!
2007-03-25 21:09:55 · update #3
The girl has got to get information somewhere and better it be correct info then Bull****. If they don't learn about it at school then who's left. I don't think it matters who tells them about it as long as it is correct info!!! Mom, Dad, Auntie, big Sister, Step-Parent, heck I knew a girl in highschool whose
older brother (who cared for her) told her. Every year may son goes to summer camp for a week and every year on the registeration form it says ---"has your daughter menstrated?" because apparently they have had tons of girls get there first period at camp----the camp counselors talk to them!!!!
Like I said I'd talk to her and just tell her the truth!!! I always found that my son and I had the best "talks" in the car, could the "girls" go for lunch maybe. Just be honest and open and let her know that she can come to you or her dad if she needs anything and if she has questions. Girls are growing up fast now and they may know lots BUT its still scary when it actually happens, hopefully she'll be around a person who cares about her when it does happen. I wouldn't hold it against her mom though...some people just can deal well!!!
Plus I like the idea above of having her prepared with a calendar, pads, midol, maybe a book to read. Thats cool especially that it was Dad!!
Above all remember: HONESTY, OPENNESS, CARING, but not Patronizing. Like they say treat her like you would have like to be treated.
Good For You -for being so thoughtful a "step" mama to want to discuss something she is likely to remember forever.
2007-03-25 21:40:07 · answer #1 · answered by Maggie B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think before you start a discussion, it would be a good idea to "review" the anatomy and physiology of the female reproductive system. They make a lot of really good books that explain periods and puberty. I think you're correct in addressing this issue with her, especially if she's showing signs of puberty (weight gain, breast buds, pubic hair). Many girls are starting menstrating at a younger age, and it isn't uncommon for girls to start at 9-12 years.
Your comfort level is really important though. If you're really nervous or unsure she will pick up on that and may feel like there's something shameful or scary about menstration. She already may have some concerns if her Mom has refused to talk about this subject. I would also take her lead, explain what she'll be able to understand, let her know she can come to you with questions. I think a brief explination of: When girls get older their bodies get ready to have babies. On the outside of the body you can see women develop breasts. and grow hair over their genitals and under the arms. Inside women's bodies the uterus gets itself ready to hold a baby by making a lining of tissue. If a woman doesn't have a baby this lining comes off and comes out the vagina. This comes out as blood and a girl can wear a pad (or tampon) to absorb this blood. This is what we call a "period" and most women have it once a month. Having a period can be a little uncomfortable, but it isn't dangerous and it doesn't mean you are sick.
This explination will have to be changed based on her level of understanding. I think it would also be a good idea to think of possible questions she might have and be ready. A book or pamphlet from her doctor might also help explain things. Ideally you could talk to her Mom so that everyone would be on the same page about things like how much "sex" to talk about, what expectations you have for her, how proud of the woman she's become, etc. Hopefully you can get her the information she needs without offending her mother, but I think you're right that she needs to have some information.
2007-03-25 21:23:45 · answer #2 · answered by CC 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was taught about mestruation in school in 5th grade. We even had machines in the bathroom.
IF your husband gives you permission to discuss the subject with his daughter, please do so. Girls are hitting puberty a lot earlier these days so I'm sure she knows something about it already. Maybe a girl at school already has hers.
My ex had to be dad *and* mom because the mother refused to guide their daughter. We were dating and felt it would be inappropriate for her dad's girlfriend (me) to tell her. So her father sat her down and she actually was looking forward to it.
They even went out and bought all kinds of stuff so it would be there the day she did need it. :) I know it wasn't easy for him, but he did it with style. lol
Get her a calendar to keep track, some tampons, some pads, and some Midol. Then, have her keep some with her at mom's house and yours so she'll have it when she needs it. She may find herself alone the first time it happens. This is sooo important.
Explain the basics of what to expect and how the products work, and then give her a ton of privacy. Let her know you're there for her. :)
2007-03-25 21:11:42 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tips? We'll why not smile at her and say hi.. start with the basics. Don't act like a jerk and be Macho, girls hate that. Just be yourself, If she doesn't like you then move on. Plenty of fish in the sea. Hope this helps, Cheers,
2016-03-17 02:25:34 · answer #4 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best way is just to explain it, no sugar coating necessary. Use pictures to show her what's going on with her body. Tell her all about the products, even take her to the store and show and explain to her how to use. Hopefully you will be around when she actually starts. It still may freak her out when she starts. It helps to know, when I started mine, my only reaction was, DAMN! But I didn't freak.
2007-03-25 21:35:31 · answer #5 · answered by kayjay 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
talk to your doctor or go to a library and find a book on how to approach the subject, her mother is just scared, they actually talked about that in school to my daughter and one day she just came to me and said she thought she needed a pad, she believed she had started, could have knocked me over with a feather, we arent all in a carrie sort of world, but its not a bad idea to ask her if shes had any health talks on the subject at school
2007-03-25 20:59:24 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find a book & leave it laying around when she comes to visit. She probably already knows what's going on, unless she is like you.
2007-03-25 20:59:02 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋
just tell her about "growing up". chances are that she knows more than you think. she probably has questions about growing up anyways. if she knows nothing then just tell her. telling kids to early doesnt scar them or anything.
2007-03-25 21:01:02 · answer #8 · answered by al g 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
First off its not your place to tell her" your just the step-mom"... BACK OFF...before major problems occur between you & your husband!!!
2007-03-25 21:04:55 · answer #9 · answered by military gal 2 · 3⤊ 5⤋
u should tell her, u r adult now.
then u con solve this problem.
2007-03-25 21:06:40 · answer #10 · answered by dedo 1 · 0⤊ 3⤋