Premarital Counseling?

Question

Did you go to premarital counseling? Why did you go? What subjects or type of questions was talked about in the counseling sessions? Was it worth it? Do you feel that all couples should go prior to getting married?

Answer 1

Premarital counseling is not a bad thing. It is part of the Bible Belts way of trying to cut down on the divorce rate in this country. By having a better understanding of your partner in areas you may not have thought about because they have not actually come up in the relationship is a good thing.

Church Pastors have been doing this for decades. If they have been established in the community long enough they have a good handle of the background and upbringing of their parishioners. (This works only with smaller congregations)

The courts in California are looking into this issue of pre-marital counceling also. If they can bring down the divorce rate they won't have to deal with "repeat' offenders, child custody and child support battles, and everything else divorce entails. It will also lighten the load on our courts.

Our Pastor suggested we not marry, because of the differences, unfortunately, he was right.

Answer 2

Personally, I did not go to premarital counseling, but if I had to do it all over again I would. It's not so much about finding if you're compatible, as it is getting a clear understanding and agreement of what each partner expects. What are each partners expectations about financial decisions? Is there some agreement as to how money is spent, and what the limit is, before the other partner is consulted. What are the agreements about disagreements? Does each partner agree to a time out and discuss the heated issue later in the day? What are each partners expectations about when and if to have children. These are just a few of the questions that can be brought out into the open via premarital counseling. In this way, you're starting with a strong foundation. Communication is the key!

Answer 3

DH and I didn't do premarital counseling but we did ask and answer a lot of the questions that are brought up there when we were dating. By the time we moved in together and then married we knew who was handling our money and how finances were prioritized. We knew what steps we were willing to take when we had disagreements. We knew how each other felt about children. Heck, we even knew what steps we were going to take if one or the other ever felt like they needed out.

I'm sure other things come up in counseling and I'm sure we talked about other things, too. But covering the things that tend to be marriage breakers with your spouse to be before you tie the knot lets you both know if you're compatible on more than a sexual level. Either with a counselor or with each other it's a good idea that can save you a lot of heartache later.

Answer 4

My husband and I did go to premarital counseling. We had to go the Reverend told us it was part of the marriage contract. The questions were really basic, I think it depends on the Reverend and the type of relationship you have with the Rev. I wasn't a member and my husbands family were members of the church. Also we were in our late 30's. We talked about illnesses, likes, dislikes, children, money, church. I do feel it was worth it but I thik we should have gone a little bit more in depth. Yes I feel that ALL couples should go through it b4 getting married. I also think each couple should read that contract. Your supposed to get married and stay married through sickness and health, till death do you part. Now I do believe that if your dealing with violence, verbal abuse molestation and just really bad stuff divorce may be the only way. BUT marriage is forever.

Answer 5

You should think of premarital counseling as an safe space to talk about anything you don't talk about together. There are no filters. This helps both talk about the things in going on in the mind that you don't want to talk about. In the long run this could make your connection more secure and communication clearer.

Answer 6

These can be a good idea.. I think if a couple feels they might benefit from these they should give it a shot. I don't think they should be mandatory, but I would like to see some mandatory counseling prior to divorces...people often jump into divorce too easily, without recognizing that marriage can be difficult, and you don't have have to jump ship when the first big wave hits. Some things just take time to learn about and work through.

Answer 7

Went to premarital counseling. We have been married almost 5 years, together 9. We're currently separated if that answers your question. Life changes people.

Answer 8

My husband and I did not go to pre-marital counseling and I wish we had. There is so much that first-time marrieds don't realize they don't know about each other until the marriage begins - differences in parenting ideals, values, money management, cleanliness, in-law dealings, and especially communication. I believe that we would struggle significantly less had we had a real idea of what we were getting ourselves into.

Answer 9

I did not go to premarital marriage but i do read about it and listen to couples advise.the counseling in my opinion is important it teaches you the difference on the way men and woman look at things in general.But most important than any advise is how"YOU listen to yous spouse",Even though counselors have a general idea of how men and woman are we all are different.Good luck to you.

Answer 10

I think premarital counselling is an awesome idea. It helps you get in touch with your partner a little more.I didn't do the premarital counselling myself as we chose to see a marriage commissioner instead of a religious one.