Part 1
http://au.answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=ApEgJPYSXWqWH.Dyh5QmgNDh5gt.?qid=20070324201705AA62Uio
Part 2
Would people please stop telling me what an awful person I am? I hate myself enough as it is. I’m neither selfish nor a bad person and if you knew me you’d realize that. Everyone makes mistakes, everyone. I didn’t come here to be judged, I came here for objective advice. I made a mistake, a huge one I know that and I would give anything to change what I did. I didn’t leave him with nothing. I made sure he received the best medical care possible and even though he’s a very wealthy man I left without a cent because I didn’t want his money. It really couldn’t have been all that bad if he survived on his own; at least I hope it wasn’t. He’s young (31) and fit. We’re still married and I hope to God he doesn’t choose to throw away 7 years of marriage because of one mistake.
2007-03-25 20:08:02 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
I know from a friend that he hasn’t been with anyone since me because we’re still legally married and that he’s asked about me and know he still wears his wedding ring as do I. It wasn’t an easy decision to leave but I had finally managed to get everything I ever wanted in life and finding out about the cancer was a devastating blow. My life was pure hell before I met him at 22 and I just couldn’t take any more. If any of you even had the slightest idea of what I’ve been through before he came into my life you would take back most of the names you chose to call me. We had the world at our feet and then everything changed. I want to make this right. I want things to go back to the way they were because no one has ever been there for me, understood and treated me the way he has. I would gladly give my life for this man without a second though so doesn’t tell me I don’t love him. The first time we’ve spoken in 2 years was 2 weeks ago and he didn’t seem angry or bitter.
2007-03-25 20:08:16 · update #1
He told me he was doing really well and didn’t mention getting a divorce meaning there’s hope. If the cancer comes back again, I won’t leave his side. After I left him I moved to another state to start over but I couldn’t knowing what I left behind so eventually after 2 years I came back. I keep asking the question in various categories because I’m desperate for objective advice. He’s the one good thing that has ever happened to me. Those of you doubting the validity of my query, I wish to God it wasn’t true. None of you could possibly make me feel worse for what I did than I already feel. Please help me! How do I convince him to give me a second chance? I truly am nothing without him.
2007-03-25 20:08:31 · update #2
We all make mistakes and sometimes when we are faced with things we make bad decisions. I know that people have been saying you are harsh and in a way leaving him for so long was not the right thing to do. You obviously know that and do not need to be reminded of that. What you do need to do is evaluate why you left. You said you were scared, why were you scared? Because you didn't want to see him suffer so young or that you are young and it was not fair that he got cancer? You were selfish for leaving him, he needed you and you left and you need to tell him these things. He needs to see that you are hurt because of your actions. If I was him, I would ask how could he ever trust you to stay by his side if/when the cancer returns. Are you in it for the money if he dies? Sometimes you have to answer hard questions in order for healing to come. You cant just waltz back into his life, cry on his shoulder one time and expect you to pick up where you left off. That is a common misconception in people that do others wrong, they just want to pretend like it didn't happen when the other person felt betrayed or abandoned. If love is truly your motivation, then I say do everything you have to do to show him. even if he says he is not ready or willing to get back together with you, don't leave again...be there for him whenever he lets you. Best of luck.
2007-03-25 20:24:07 · answer #1 · answered by Chrys23 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I still think you don't deserve him. He treated you like a queen and you left him when he needed you the most. Sure, we all make mistakes, but sometimes they are unforgivable. Why are you feeling so bad about it now that he's better? What if he goes into remission, like you ask in your next question? Can you handle that?
If he's so rich and fit and treats you so good I'm sure he'll have no problem finding someone that will stick with him no matter what.
It's good you know that you made a mistake, but you need to accept the consequences of the mistake and move on. Let him move on, if you really care so much.
2007-03-26 16:06:43 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
THe best thing you could EVER do , is simply link him to this question, to part 1 and to part 2. Just email it to him, and tell him that you dont know how to say it and this says it best.
Life is tricky, love is difficult, and relationships work , hard hard work, You did make a mistake and you know that, that counts for something, it counts for a lot. IF he didnt understand your choices he wouldnt still wear his wedding band and he wouldnt still talk to you.
If love is real, it gets through everything, through every mistake each party makes, because that what it is, its forgiveness and understanding... even when no one else does, even when nothing makes sence, you understand the others parties choices.
I think all the poeple should shove their judgemental opinions up their a**. Your question had nothing to do with weather you made a "bad" choice, hell you know its bad first and foremost. There is no point in worrying about it now, its done and over with, now try to make it work, try to work through it, his anger, your inability to u nderstand what he went throuhg, try to work through the los ttime and the feelings you each had.
TALK! COmmunicate! LISTEN!..... thats what your realtionship is, your abilityt o communicate with one another and to u nderstand each other.
Forgive yourself, and if he loves you, he will forgive you as well.
BUt, you have to take the first step and TELL HIM how you feel, TELL HIM what you told us. He is not a mind reader, he doesnt know u nless you tell him.
I wish you well, and just belive in the fact that love is greater than anything.
2007-03-25 20:22:45 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Hell would freeze over before I ever took a woman back that divorced me because I had a terminal illness.
Check the temp in hell...then ask him to take you back.
Some mistakes you just have to live with. Sorry.
2007-03-25 20:17:03 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hun I feel for you. All you can do is talk to him and tell him you're sorry and that it was wrong and horrible of you to leave him. Everyone does make mistakes and you're only human. Just meet with him in person and tell him your feelings straight out. Meeting him in person will seem and be more of an effort on your part and he will see that and be able to look in your eyes and know you did wrong and that you are very sorry.
2007-03-25 20:30:19 · answer #5 · answered by fallenangelhunter 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You have asked similar questions multiple times in other categories and received significant response from people who trusted that the questions were real.
It's hard to trust you. And, that would be your answer as far as your husband is concerned too. He will never trust you again, nor should he. Do the right thing for once and never bother this man again.
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2007-03-26 00:48:42 · answer #6 · answered by Panda 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i am with you in what you feel and i cannot judge you on your past actions. nothing and no one can perhaps soothe yourself and help you the most except Jesus Christ. honestly, He is your only answer. It pains me to know that you have to do that to your husband. i just cannot comprehend the hurt it brought to him at the time you left him all by himself. but there is room for forgiveness. there is room for change. pray to God and cast all your cares upon Him. pray for a change of heart--both for you and your husband. ask God for opportunities to say all what you have to say. in short, let Him have the control of your life. trust Him and believe that He will lift you up from your troubles. i myself made great mistakes--but only God and His Word can bring you peace of mind. Read the Bible. In God, you will find your answer. It may not be too soon but ask in humility it will surely come. I pray that God will hear your prayers. God bless you
2007-03-25 20:52:54 · answer #7 · answered by spraytt 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You have asked 3 different questions, yet you ask them over and over again.
Like:
If you was physically abused when you was a child, would you want your spouse/bf/gf to know? You asked like 4 times.
I left my husband when he was diagnosed with cancer.Now he's ok and I want him back? You asked like 4 or 5 times.
I left my husband when he was diagnosed with cancer.Now he's ok and I want him back.Part 2? Asked 4 or 5 times.
What is wrong with you?
ARE YOU FOR REAL? be honest!
2007-03-25 20:42:28 · answer #8 · answered by faith♥missouri 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
the only thing you can do is to tell him how you feel. Everything. why you left, how you felt, why you've changed your mind. then sincerely apologize and put it in his hands. don't pester or bother him, and be prepared for hte worst. hope for the best, but prepare for the worst. he may or may not be forgiving. and even if he loves you it still may hurt to be around you, so don't push. whether it was right or wrong, or good or bad or whatever you did leave him, when he needed you most. he might be forgiving and he might still hurt.
2007-03-25 20:25:26 · answer #9 · answered by past_princess 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
He knows that there is a good possibility that the cancer will come back and probably thinks that you want him back because his life will be short and you will be there to take over his wealth.
You need to convince him that the above statement is false.
2007-03-25 21:22:48 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋