my boyfriend is 31 yrs.. Bt he is still not well settled. He has taken his life very easily, with no concern of his career. He's ver caring and family oriented. His income will not be sufficient for him to take care of his family. Of late, he is concentrating more on his business. But, not i way i want him to. Do u think he'll change n become more serious. what shud i do?
2007-03-25 20:00:03 · 12 answers · asked by ? 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The question you ask is a question all intelligent women ask before they settle down with a man. While love is a necessity in marriage, it is not the only pre-requisite. Women always question the quality of life they will lead when they marry because it is they who will bring children into this world and will often handle the nurturing of the kids largely by themselves. Whether you ride behind him on a bike or sit with your baby on the rear seat of the car, often depends on the man you choose. It would be wise for each woman before she marries to have a checklist of pre-requisites her potential husband should possess. It need not be an exhaustive list but should include 3 crucial requirements. He must be responsible, respectful and reasonable. Missing any one of these will spell trouble for sure.
Should you marry him? Most intelligent women in your position would wait till he can show signs of responsibility. Marriage is a huge commitment shared by two. It is (at least in my opinion) women who are usually (though not always) the ones who pick up the pieces when a marriage goes wrong. Perhaps that is why men propose, but women decide.
So take your time, if it is meant to be it will be. It is a good sign that you are asking the right questions. When your man is ready to be committed to all that comes with marriage, you will know it. So till then choose carefully. Your future happiness and that of your children are contingent on your decision. I wish you well.
2007-03-25 20:45:14 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's usually a bad sign if you feel you have to ask that question. But you haven't even mentioned if you have a career to help support the family, or what his business is.
Are you really concerned that he won't be able to support the family, or more concerned that he won't be able to provide the lifestyle you want?
If he is caring and family oriented as you say, he will likely try to find an optimum balance, work hard enough to support the family, but not so hard that I can't spend time with them.
2007-03-25 20:06:39 · answer #2 · answered by rohak1212 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, he's concentrating on his business so he has some sense of responsbility.
Just because someone is laid back doesn't mean that they can't be responsable.
However, if he wants to start a family, then you need to explain to him that he needs a level of income that can sustain that lifestyle before you'll marry him. Simple as that.
2007-03-25 20:05:19 · answer #3 · answered by NoCash 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For a man like this, the qustion is how serious is he about marrying you? Ask him straight way, if he is serious, tell him that you love him, but he needs to give you financial security, tell him to earn a specific amount in a specific period of time, depends on when you want to marry & deposit in your joint saving account, tell him that he has to earn it & not beg , borrow or steal. Leave the ways of business to him, let him have his space, & if he is serious & loves you, he will get you stars, if not, move on to someone more responsible,.....because money is not everything in life, but you don't get anything without money.
2007-03-28 18:54:12 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey girl, i kid you not DO NOT marry this guy, i did marry my guy, bit in the end money won, it will always be the most important thing to these kinds of people unless he has a spritual side aswell (ha Not likely) sorry , find some one who knows freedom from the materialistic and you will find contentment
2007-03-25 20:08:39 · answer #5 · answered by lolleighlegs 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not being responsible is one thing .. but do you want to marry for love, . . . or money (or lack of money as you mentioned)
I chose LOVE !
Marriage is a serious commitment so don't jump into it if you are not sure.
2007-03-25 20:21:26 · answer #6 · answered by ♥ Mysterious ♥ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no you can't do anything if that's his personality unless he himself wanted to change according to what you want for him to be..so if you don't like his way of handling his carrer or whatever..y marry him?...Marriage is for a lifetime.you know..when marrying a person you've got to consider that you should not marry a person you can live without instead marry a person YOU CAN'T live without..i think you could live without him
2007-03-25 20:06:17 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No don't marry him
money can cause all kinds of problems in marriage.
Money is the number1 cause of divorce
2007-03-25 20:04:18 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wait until you are absolutely sure you want to marry him. Because you are asking other people to answer this quesiton means you definately are having reservations. Please dont do it until you both are ready.
2007-03-25 20:03:43 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i honestly think that if you are asking other people whether you should marry him then you have already answered the question for yourself.
2007-03-25 20:03:15 · answer #10 · answered by kittycat 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋