We never really "broke up", just drifted apart because we were so engrossed in our daily lives and both moved away around the same time. He lives in Texas, I am in Washington, and he wants me to move down to Texas with him. We have had many many long phone conversations about what was wrong with out relationship (he admits that he took me for granted, and wants the chance to make it up to me) and have both decided that we could make this work. He says that when he thinks ahead 5 years, out of all the relationships he's had this is the one that he feels could really have something, and he doesn't want to lose the chance to make things right, make things work... I love him with all my heart, and I want to go NOW, but have decided that I should wait until summer so I can save money to cover all of my bills that I would have until I found a job down there. Does this sound like a good idea (as a whole) and what should I do to prepair? We are talking about marriage.
2007-03-25 19:33:22 · 12 answers · asked by liebedich85 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He calls me all the time, we exchange emails and photos.
2007-03-25 19:40:43 · update #1
We cant visit each other as much as we would like because of our work schedules (I work two jobs to save the money needed to move, he works the equivalent of 2 jobs) and other things like that.
2007-03-25 19:42:28 · update #2
I know what I am going to do. I just want to get other peoples opinions on the matter. I also know how our relationship is going to go (for the most part). I'm not saying that I never did anything wrong (for gods sake I showed up at his house drunk and screaming once... oops!) or that we are perfect. No one is perfect in general, but he is perfect for me, and I think I am perfect for him. We almost never argue, and when we do, we discuss, not yell. We have the same views on raising children, religion and all that good stuff. I would be going from Seattle to Houston. I was asking about covenant marriages because I want to know. I am a very curious person ;). If I could afford to not save money and just go, I would. However, I have a car payment, and other financial obligations that I would not feel comfortable leaving to chance. I want to have the money necessary to pay my bills while I am looking for a job down there (which should take me all of a week, but I like to be prepaired!).
2007-03-25 20:23:37 · update #3
I am glad to hear about you delaying your move til summer because it gives you a chance to make great use of that time. This is a huge step especially if it may involve marriage eventually, so quality time with him thru e-mails and phone calls is the priority. Make use of the time now to really really get to know him. Get involved in some indepth conversations about issues that are important to you in a marriage and encourage him to ask the same kind of questions of you. Where does he stand on kids...their upbringing...the values the two of you want to impart...how do u both feel about money...investing...spending, etc. Where are you guys on religion? Where are you on morals....spend much much time on this one. Try and think of scenarios that both of you could discuss so you can both learn where the others head is. Ask him in his mind what committment really means. Review your communications skills. Discuss how you will fight. You need to know that stuff. And I could go on and on and on with many other things you need to discuss in detail. That way you will hopefully know where you both stand on these issues before you make the move. And God forbid, if you find out that you and he aren't as close on things as you thought then wow...its better to have learned now than to move, get married and bring kids into the world and then find out. So get going ...you have alot to find out...use the time wisely...and I really wish you well!
2007-03-25 19:57:52 · answer #1 · answered by chcman74 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You must ask yourself questions before you make this decision:
1. Where in Texas and which Washington? Seattle and D.C. flow well into Austin. Dallas, Lubbock, El Paso...you'll have a huge culture shock to overcome. That will weigh on the relationship, whether you think it will or not.
2. Why can't you just get a job in Texas? I live here. People work. The state's growing...fast.
3. If he took you for granted, do you take any responsibility on your end? I didn't see it in the question.
4. Why are you also asking about covenant marriages? A marriage doesn't hang well against a hedge bet. It's all or nothing, and the paperwork won't matter.
These are tough questions. YOU need to ask them to YOURSELF. There are other questions you need to seek and find IN YOURSELF. The questions are hard. The answers can be easy, though. You just might not like the answers.
Pray. Meditate. Ask.
Good luck to you.
2007-03-25 20:04:00 · answer #2 · answered by muedprof 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
im in a long distance relationship as well (both in different states in Malaysia)...and we are married! its not easy. The advantages are that when you meet up occasionally, you learn to really cherish the time together. The bad thing about it is (especially if you are thinking of marriage) you will not be able to live with the person on a day to day basis...and this is very important if you want to tie the knot. My advice...dont wait too long..
2007-03-25 19:58:25 · answer #3 · answered by tehtarik 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honey, if you love him and he loves you, my advice would be to try and make it work. They call it falling for a reason. It is a big risk, and you could get hurt, or it might not work out. But would you rather stay safe with your feet on the ground,wondering your whole life what might have been? Or, do you want to jump off that cliff and hope like hell you can fly? All the best and happiness to you.
2007-03-25 19:40:59 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
One how previous are you? 2, in the adventure that your his age than long distance courting in the adventure that your truly head over heels approximately this guy. in any different case do no longer attempt, and yet another component you need to no longer be assembly people on line contained in the 1st place.
2016-10-01 12:13:02 · answer #5 · answered by linnon 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband lived in WA while I was in Ohio and he moved to PA with me(3 mths into our relationship nontheless). He doesnt regret it one bit.
I think if your heart is telling you to go then you should go. Make sure you can afford the move before you go, dont rush.
2007-03-25 19:38:49 · answer #6 · answered by KDW25 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think your making the right mature decission. And it will be better in the long run for both of you!
Good luck with your relationship!
2007-03-25 19:41:26 · answer #7 · answered by Zenthae 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
yes i think you should save up some money before you go. make sure you have enough to go back home if things do not work out. hope things work out for you.
2007-03-25 19:39:36 · answer #8 · answered by misse 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Aw, thats happened to me...You should wait it out and see if he REALLY loves you. that means giving you and this guy some more time to think. if he really loves you he'd visit, call more often, write, whatever it takes to hear, "feel", or see you. If you really love him and see a future with him go for it. Goodluck xoxo
2007-03-25 19:39:13 · answer #9 · answered by ? 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Believe it or not my own situation is similar. VERY good idea and sounds to me like you are doing everthing you can to make it work. Best of luck.
2007-03-25 19:36:56 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋