My brother is a gay..?

Question

I was checking pc history one day when I found some gay porns.. It couldn't have been me so i suspect its my bro.. tinking he might be use curious about such stuffs.. i ignore it.. But this continues for several months.. i could not tolerate anymore and decide to question him.. Surprisingly he confessed that he is a gay and is seeing a gay partner.. My parents do not know abt this and I am not sure how to put across to them.. the worst is that recently I found some sexy brief, condoms and lub in his cabinets.. My bro is still serving national service and I really worried that he may need some help.. I am very worried.. What should I do?

Answer 1

You don't have to tell your parents, your brother will tell them when he is ready for it...
About the porn, clearly it bothers you... so you can ask your brother not to use the pc for it anymore or to wipe out the history when he does use it... in this way you won't be confronted with it anymore...
Now you found some things in his cabinet... I think you shouldn't be looking through his things, you probably wouldn't like it if he went through your things...
About him needing help... sure he needs help but not in the way that you think! He doesn't need help because he is gay, that's who he is... besides he has always been gay, and you did love him before you found out, didn't you? It's clear that he himself doesn't have a problem with being gay...
Now how can you help him? Once he dicides to tell your parents, other members of your family, his friends, his collegues.... many of them will be angry with him and cast him out of their lives... He will be needing your support at that time! Stand by him! He is your brother! And no one in the entire world will ever be so close to you as him because you share the same parents and the same history...
So talk to him...let him know that no matter what you will support him, that you understand that this isn't a fase, that you know that he can't help it and that you hope that one day he'll find a partner to share his life with... And perhaps talk to him about the dangers to, that he should always wear a condom because you love him and you don't want to loose him...
Good luck to the both of you!

Answer 2

Your brother's business is your brother's business. You have no business telling your parents or anyone else. Is your brother an adult? (I assume he is, since he is 'serving national service') Then let him be an adult and take care of himself.

You should be glad that you found condoms in your brother's possession. (Were you snooping? Don't snoop. It is not very wise to go prying into other people's things) This indicates that he understands about safer sex, and that he (most likely) practices it.

If you are concerned about your brother, talk with HIM. Not your parents. Ask your brother how you can support him.

In response to the person who suggested you tell your parents in order for your brother to 'go straight': this is one of the stupidest things I've ever heard. If parents could stop their kids from being gay, don't you think there would be far fewer gay people in the world? The fact that your brother has not told your parents that he's gay should tell you something: he doesn't feel safe telling them the truth.

Help your brother: love and support him.

***

I have to reply to what 'Seraph' said. The fact is: people are gay. Does sexual orientation happen in the womb? Does it happen before age 4? Is it nurture or nature? Or is a combination of a lot of different elements? No one knows for sure. The only thing people DO know is that sexual orientation is a deeply-embedded part of someone's being, and trying to change it brings no more real success than trying to change one's eye color. How does 'Seraph' know? Is s/he gay? Chances are very very good that s/he is not. So what is 'Seraph' basing these beliefs on? Nothing more than a very narrow view of humanity held by a surprisingly smal (but vocal) minority of people in this country.

I know I am gay. I didn't choose to be gay. I prayed for years that God would make me straight. I spent many years in a church that promised me 'healing.' I finally realized that I was wasting a valuable life. I became honest with myself, my family and my friends. And then, I feel, my life truly began.

Know what's ironic? My relationship with God is unquestionably stronger now that I am out of the closet.

Don't believe religious panic like 'Seraph' is trying to sell you. Gay people are people. Your brother is your brother. He needs your love.

Answer 3

Nothing.

Let your brother handle his own life. Especially do not say anything to your folks. That is up to him and he will do it when he is good and ready.

What you can do is be supportive and let him know that you are cool with it and he can come to you if he needs to. At least you know he is having safe sex. That's one thing to put your mind at rest.

Interfering under the banner of caring does not help it actually can cause more problems.

Answer 4

Just be there for your brother. Not your place to tell his business. Just respect him and he will do the same to you. My sister and I are very close. We respect each other and yes I am gay.

Answer 5

You are not the one who should be telling your parents. He should do that himself, when he's ready and when he wants to. I think you should stay out of it and leave it up to him. It's his life, not yours.

Answer 6

It is his business to tell your parents,not yours.It is a biological life stile not a choice.He can't stop being gay.You are or your not.

Answer 7

To help your brother you have to be convinced yourself that he needs help. And you also need to be knowledgeable about what being gay is, and its moral implications. If you hold the view that being gay is a moral wrong, then you can help him. But if you are not of this view, then why bother to help him since there is nothing to help?

I believe homosexuality is an abomination to God, who made us in His image. He made male and female to be sexual partners for life in the protective boundaries of marriage, not male male or female female. Don't believe the false propaganda of gay advocates that being gay is inherent and that they are born this way. This is sheer nonsense and trying to make what is morally unacceptable acceptable. These same people will never advance such arguments in support of liars and murderers.

If you love your brother and have a good relationship with him, you can lovingly confront him on this matter. Better to steer him to the right direction than to try to undo it later when his sin is much deeper.

Answer 8

tell your parents, there is still hope that he will go straight