My friend is a single mom that has two kids, a girl who is 14 and a boy that is 12. The girl is already having sex and once they thought that she was pregnant, but wasnt. They both back talk their mom and throw fits if they dont get their way. The mom stays out all night drinking and going to parties and is never home with her kids, and wonders why they treat her like they do. The mom has been in abusive relationships. It is a very bad situation, but I dont know what to do. One night they were at a party with a few friends, and the mom and abusive boyfriend both got drunk, they boyfriend pulled her hair and hit her and the boy saw it all. He came to my house crying so I let him in, an hour later, the mom came looking for him, and found him down here. She says that she is a good mom, but I think different. I am so scared for the kids, they dont need to end up like their mom. Is there anything I can do?? Please help...
2007-03-25 19:14:40 · 12 answers · asked by your_lover_67 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
There are several things you can do.
1st there is the obvious. You can call child welfare/social services. If someone is being domestically abused that is a form of child abuse. The thing is that they don't usually do anything for kids over 8 years old. But it could scare mom straight.
2nd you could sit down and talk with the kids. Let them know your house is a safe house, they can come there whenever they need to/want to, doesn't have to be an emergency. If you say only in an emergency they will likely not know what one is and feel weird coming over. If you let them come over and chit chat a couple of times they will feel comfortable coming over when they actually need to.
3rd you could talk to mom. Although most people with addictions won't listen.
4th you can talk to a counselor (who will have to report if they suspect child abuse) and get ideas on what to do, you can talk to a law official as well.
5th if you go to your local Womenspace or domestic violence shelter they can probably give you general advice on what to do.
It is great you are concerned about them. We need more people in this world like you. The best thing you can do right now is provide a safe and comfortable space for those kids.
2007-03-25 19:24:31 · answer #1 · answered by RedPower Woman 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, if you really care for the kids, call her on the carpet. You'll probably be better off being straight forward. Because no matter how nicely you try to word it, or no matter how much you beat around the bush, she's going to know what you're trying to say and she'll be just as upset as if you just blurted out your thoughts (i.e. what you said here).
It may not solve the problem immediately, but she'll at least have a little angel on her shoulder (opposite the devil) telling her not to go out and drink. If you're able to keep her as a friend, then remind her. Be persistent, but give her a chance to act before talking to child protective services. I'm sure there's nothing worse than having your kids taken away before you're able to look yourself in the mirror. Snitching like that on a friend is just mean.
2007-03-25 19:20:18 · answer #2 · answered by Mickey Mouse Spears 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They need some family counseling ASAP. If what you say is right she is a bad Mom and needs someone to set her straight or she'll lose the kids either they'll get taken away or they'll run away and never want to see her again. A bad situation for them for sure. Child protective services can help but they will likely take the kids out of the home and I'm never sure if that's better or not. They need to be with people that love them and will care for them.
2007-03-25 19:31:56 · answer #3 · answered by MissWong 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cps will do nothing unless they are in harms way....her being out all night ect....will be responded to like this ,they 14 yr old girl is old enough to babysit the 12yr old, and for the abuse from boyfriends to her infront of the children she will probably Deny, and the children were not actually in danger, although I agree with you 100% the authorities will do nothing unless those kids are in serious danger....so I suggest you be honest with her...start by telling her how much she and the kids mean to you and you fear that she may be taking raising them for granted by parting to often ect....she will most likely be bitter, but if you explain that you are not being critical just concerned that should help.....good luck....
2007-03-26 06:02:50 · answer #4 · answered by Erika 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is a tricky situation. If you express your concerns to your friend she is not likely to stay your friend very long which will remove one of the few sources of support those children have. The same thing if you report her to social services.
At least the children seem to know they can come to you for help which is a good thing. I think all you can do in this situation is make sure that all the family know that you are there if they need you.
2007-03-25 20:49:04 · answer #5 · answered by gerrifriend 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is NOT a good mother. A good mother puts her kids before anything and certainly does not subject her kids to what your friend has subjected her children to.
Report her to the authorities, you will be doing those children a favour and then I would have NOTHING to do with her at all as she sounds like a real C**!
2007-03-25 19:48:06 · answer #6 · answered by Bubbles 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You could call child protection agency and tell them, ask them to not tell her who reported her.
There isn't a whole lot you can do. You might need to be the good adult figure in the kids lives.
2007-03-25 19:19:14 · answer #7 · answered by clcalifornia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you can call cps on her and have the kids tll them what life with mom is like
you call find and call there father
you can sit down with them and have them talk to someone at school
the next time they tell you about violance you can call the police
2007-03-25 21:30:28 · answer #8 · answered by debrasearch 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Call CPS on her and have those kids removed from her care.
2007-03-26 00:47:23 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What CAN you do?Anything is going to be a betrayal, so either report her to the authorities, learn to overlook it, or move away.
2007-03-25 19:19:28 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋