My soon to be ex husband and I have been separated for 2 months now. We've been married for a year and a half. The reasoning behind the sep/divorce was he hit me for over a year. Now, he's in love, moving in, and planning to marry (in the distant future) someone else, but I still find myself in love with him. All we have to do is talk and I feel myself falling all over again. I really did love him, but he moved on so fast, my head is still whirling. I haven't told him this because I already know how he feels. He's so happy with her, and I'm happy for them, I just can't seem to get over him. I still love him, and now that he's changing, I love him even more. I just don't know what to do. I'm so confused. Can anyone help me?
2007-03-25 18:51:39 · 19 answers · asked by end_4706 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Do you have any feeling for the woman he's involved with?
Think it might be a good idea to let her know she's dating a wife beater?
Do you want to continue to be beaten? Do you have proof you were beaten, (photos, video tape, eyewitness......?) Do you have any reason to think that his behavior will change?
Sounds like to me, at least talking to someone, (a professional wouldn't be a bad idea), might help you
He left you before he killed you. You might consider yourself lucky.
2007-03-25 18:57:45 · answer #1 · answered by spam_free_he_he 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For starters, I would go to counseling,and next I would sit down and think things through - you left him because ??
you stated you left him because he was hitting you - believe me men don't change like that - they don't change at all.
my x husband moved on to someone else before we were even separated - he is an abuser,he is an alcoholic.He wanted to make everyone believe he had changed and that he was better now.
This was 8 years ago - he is still the same person,and he is involved with someone just like him..
they don't change - your having feelings because the split is fairly new to you,and that's normal..but trust me,,get some counseling,be happy for them as a couple and be happy for yourself that your out of that relationship
good luck
2007-03-25 19:03:45 · answer #2 · answered by country_girl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want my advice love, I would put distance between you 2 and live for yourself, have some self respect or you will end up at the end of a long line of people who get sucked into that type of relationship before long it will erode all your confidence and you will be trapped. Sorry to hear about your situation but really seems the best outcome to me. Don't do anything just get on with you life and 1 day some decent will come along. good luck.
2007-03-25 19:01:25 · answer #3 · answered by scorpiotoo2000 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You may love him but you are also addicted to being mistreated its as bad as a drug addiction and ill bet when you break the cycle and learn that you are worth more than that you will see your love for him is no longer a problem for you.You need counseling asap before you end up in another abusive relationship where the next guy could kill you.Please look in your phone book and make the call so you can be you again instead of a door mat for abuse.You need room to breath and you need to get over him.
2007-03-25 19:02:47 · answer #4 · answered by acr_lover 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't need to get over him, you need to go to therapy and learn that you deserve to be loved by someone better than him. If you don't, then you will fall into the same trap with another man. You will subconsciously find someone who will end up treating you the same way. And believe me, he is not changing. He changed his ways temporarily so he could find another wife...his old ways will surface, and he will hit her, too. And until he beats a woman who puts him in jail, he will continue to be slime.
Don't be a push over. Learn to love yourself. You would never let anyone knowingly hurt anyone you love.
I know this is all easier said than done, but it is possible to overcome his manipulative ways, and for you to find happiness in someone who would never dream of physically harming a person.
You need to stop talking to him. Write him out of your life. Move on, and let his stupidity turn you into a better person.
2007-03-25 19:06:12 · answer #5 · answered by Madre 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give him a divorce already. You deserve better. Let him go and marry someone else it will be a matter of time before he starts beating on her. Love does not hurt. Get over him and do your life over. Good Luck!
2007-03-25 19:07:16 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What do you miss about the guy, the sex, his company, his beating you? You say you've been apart for 2 months and yet he's already found someone else and you can't get over him. What would you say to someone asking you the very same question? Once you let your emotions and sex drive settle down you might be able to re- think how you feel about this guy.
2007-03-25 19:03:42 · answer #7 · answered by diamond back 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, as much as I hate this quote "Leopards don't change their spots" it's perfect in this scenario, you left him because he hit you for over a year, do you think that this other girl is not going to go trough the same thing? Honey, I feel really bad for you, yes, you may still love him, and every time you see him, he is going to show you just how much he changed, because when this new relationship doesn't pan out, guess who he is going to come to....Just go out with your friends and enjoy your life, before you know it, someone who deserves your love, and one who loves you with all his heart and not his fists, will be right next to you....Good Luck to you, I wish you the best....time heals all wounds....believe it. God Bless
2007-03-25 19:02:12 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
get the divorce, that will be the first step in letting him go, then seek counseling for what is going on inside you and that you have been keeping inside you since the marriage so that you can release some of your pain and come to a resolution to making a better life for yourself without him, you deserve better, this guy isn't going to change, he may be happy with the woman he is with now but patterns have a way of repeating themselves, you deserve to be happy as well and with someone who wants to be with you and treats you with respect.....
2007-03-29 05:14:15 · answer #9 · answered by MidnightSkies 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
May I suggest consideration of counseling. You report that you were "hit" for over a year during your marriage. That's so terrible I have trouble understanding why you would want to continue this relationship. Get into counseling and learn something about yourself.
2007-03-25 18:56:32 · answer #10 · answered by judgebill 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋