Whose given an ultimatum and it payed off?

Question

Who has given an ultimatum for change in a realtionship in order for it to work and suceeded. how long did you have to stand your guns, how did you manage to stand you guns even though it hurt. What happened? Im paticularly interested in counselling demands.

This change is not a chnge about him per say its a change in the dynamics of a relationship because its just not working, no relationship would work the way it is.

Answer 1

I told her on our wedding night, it turned her on, we had mad hot sex, and then she kinda faded away and ive controlled her ever since

Answer 2

Ultimata are never good. They spell the end of a relationship. If you have gone beyond asking him to do something or just talking about things and explaining why you react badly, then you need support. An ultimatum will just stiffen his resolve. I know if someone givese me such a choice I choose the opposite on a matter of principle that I will not be manipulated by ultimata. I have said this to all my friends and work colleagues. Very few test me on it anymore. And on the relationship front, I made it clear to every girl I went out with - my wife and I have been married for 11 years and we do not attempt to manipulate with ultimata, we talk and listen to each other.
Don't give in to the feelings that an ultimatum will change things, it will either break the relationship or set-up resentment that will kill the friendship base.
hope things improve

Answer 3

My story is a twist on the ultimatum. My wife began a very close friendship with another man, and I saw it developing into an affair. I objected loudly, but to no effect...she always claimed that a man and a woman can be friends. Finally, she did have an affair and I watched her slip away. I didn't give her an ultimatum per se, but I did tell her to leave and I wished her luck with her new man in her new life. It was awful, but her relationship with the new man backfired pretty fast...maybe the affair worked as an erotic taboo thing, but when forced to face reality it never had a chance. She returned to me a couple months later, apologetic and humbled. Twenty year anniversary this year!!

Answer 4

Why give an ultimatum? Either you are happy with your relationship or you aren't. Any relationship begins with learning to love yourself. If you can truly love and accept yourself,then you can learn to love another. Also, if you truly love yourself you will choose as a partner only those who honor you. So, if you feel the need to "give an ultimatum", ask yourself if you really want the other person in your life? Why is it necessary to force the other to make a change in order for you to feel comfortable? Learn to be comfortable with yourself, then you won't make demands on another. People are the way they are...and if you don't feel comfortable with some characteristic of another, perhaps you should look elsewhere.

Answer 5

I told him he better never look at that Damn alumni site again, or he was gonna be my cupcake b*tch and get his as* beat by my mommy dearest hanger everyday!
That was three days ago, I'm rotting inside with anxiety but he has stayed away from the PC. Now I am rebeling really bad!
I'm not sure if this whole ultimatum thing works or not! I feel so depressed & this is the first I've said about it. errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

Answer 6

I even have kinfolk that are truly irresponsible whilst it is composed of their pets as nicely. not extremely a similar subject concerns,yet irresponsible non the less. My sister has had a number of canines over the years, none of them are ever up as much as now on their pictures, and not certainly one of them has ever been fixed. They by no skill pass on walks,, ever. They get placed out onto the deck and that they are experienced to do their corporation there. area of the venture is that her young ones are terrible and positively lazy, alongside with a jerk of a husband and all of it falls on her. additionally they get fed crap nutrition as that's all she will take care of to pay for. Her pit have been given pregnant and a 300 and sixty 5 days later her chihuahua have been given pregnant. i grew to become into called to grant the two gadgets of domestic dogs, and that i paid for stable nutrition for the mummy placed up transport, untill the domestic dogs have been weaned. I additionally am the only one to groom them. I even have lectured them time and time returned. the youngsters say they want a funky canines that is conscious a number of of tricks and instructions, yet by no skill want to put in the artwork. I felt so undesirable for the canines. Thank God that presently after doing away with the 2nd set of domestic dogs, My sister has given away the pit bull, besides the shown fact that she nevertheless has the chihuahua. It makes it much less annoying for me to maintain up with the chihuahua's care. I cope with it and ***** in the back of closed doorways to everyone which will hear. a minimum of with me there the canines will continuously have their elementary needs. grasp in there, i understand this is troublesome, however the canines want and rely on you. stable success!

Answer 7

My wife and I went through some tough times a long while back and as I recall I gave her an ultimatum. We are still together so it obviously worked.

I highly recommend standing your ground. It paid for me.

Answer 8

It doesn't work believe me I've tried. Now I'm broken up with him (1 week today) and he's gonna have to do what I want him to or I'm not going to see him again. I'll keep everyone posted!

Answer 9

If you need ultimatums the relationship is doomed !!

Answer 10

no ultimatum ever worked with anyone. if someone tells u it worked they re lying or mistaken

Answer 11

I have never needed or been given an utimatum if I had my marriage would be over.