so i met this guy and we moved way to fast ! both said it was love at first sight and wanted to spend the rest of our lives together after 3 months of being together he purposed to me and he started talking about having a baby and foolish me who just wants to be loved so badly believed everything he said and let him get me pregnant ..well i find out he cheating with his ex who he was with before me for 3 yrs. she knew all about me and let him stay with me just to get him to be with her. i of coarse broke up with him and honestly havnt been dealing well with this i'm so emotional from the pregnancy and just feel all most like permently damaged, i dont smile, im mean to everyone ;and never leave the house . the worst part is im begging for him to come back cause im so scared to have a baby right now by my self ...thats not what i thought i was getting myself into ...what a mess... how do i cope? what do i do?
2007-03-25 17:59:31 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Sleep with his brother or best friend immediately!
2007-03-25 18:03:37 · answer #1 · answered by Jay 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Sweetheart I went through a very similar situation, and there's no advise that can change the way you feel, Yes the baby is important but in order to have a healthy baby you need a healthy mommy, the feelings you have for your ex will immediately go away the minute they put your baby on your lap, belive me a whole new chapter begins and what right now feels like permanent damage will soon become the greatest blessing in your life, I can't explain to you how your life will change, but I can guarantee you that's its in you to make the best of it and you'll soon be nice and all smiles again, just take care of you and your baby and I promise its going to be just great.
2007-03-25 18:47:41 · answer #2 · answered by funiris4u 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
My heart really goes out to you. I was in a similar situation, my ex got me and his ex girlfriend pregnant at the same time. It was horrible. Although I hated him and wanted him out of my life, I was afraid of being alone and raising a child. After the baby was born, I found strength and knew that I could do it alone. I kicked him out of our lives and ended up meeting the man of my dreams who loves and cares for my child as if he were his own. I never thought I could be so happy.....I know how you feel. You can be happy too and you can raise this baby without him. He will not be faithful to you, even if he came back to you and the baby. You would never trust him again because of the betrayal. I know you say your permanently damaged.....but time heals all wounds. Find your faith, look to the Lord for guidance, strength and love, and believe me......with time you also will heal.
Just another thought......you've only known him for three months. The faster you get away from him, the faster you begin to heal and the less it will hurt. You can do this. Just believe. God bless. I hope this helps.
2007-03-26 16:02:45 · answer #3 · answered by somaya 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You should be happy you don't have this person in your life anymore. You shouldn't be mean to people because someone else treated you bad. I would try to re-evaluate my life and know that you can raise a child without this man. You have more people for support than you know if you would let people help you. Do you want someone in your life who broke your trust and made you feel the way that you are feeling? You can and should find a way to raise this child without this guy who doesn't care what he does to you or how you feel. You can do it!
2007-03-25 18:14:40 · answer #4 · answered by diamond back 1 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Think of your unborn baby first. Tell your parents about your harrowing experience with that irresponsible man. You have just earned a lesson for life. Don't plunge into a serious relationship unless you are emotionally ready.
Begging him to come back will only make matter worse. Forget that crap, he does not deserve your love from the start.
I am just wondering why you still want a person who messed your life. If you want to move on, make sure you never again fall for a man like him.
Save yourself and your baby!
2007-03-25 18:32:12 · answer #5 · answered by september 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
I am in the exact situation except, he just woke up one day a different person and now, I have been stalked by some of his crazy exes to a point where I am scared to be in my own apartment. I wanted to abort the baby, but he got all bent out of shape and thought it was his right to go on with life while mine went into hell due to a high risk pregnancy and being alone. Financially, he promised help and it never came. I finally realized through talking to a friend who was also abandoned by her husband when she was 7 months pregnant with twins, a realization is what she shared with me...What kind of a person does something like that and would you even associate with such a person if they did these things to someone you love? She was right. I still want my child to have a complete intact family as her father originally promised, but what kind of life or example is a lying alcoholic going to provide...I wanted to be loved to, but being used and abused isn't love. Half of my family turned their back on me because they are very religious, so I completely understand your fear of being alone. My child's paternal grandparents are very well off and they seem to think that money will fix everything... No amount of money will ever give me back my security or take away the feelings of being used as a brood mare and being violated emotionally. You may want to get evaluated for post traumatic stress disorder. I was diagnosed with that about 3 months into my pregnancy due to abandonment issues and anxiety over all that happened. I also realize now that it is his fault and one day, the child will see it and my heart stil breaks at the thought that he will be married and one day, some other woman and their child will be worth what we never were to him. It is a daily struggle and you have to think that he isn't worht the air he is breathing because every promise he ever made to you was a lie and one day, his child will ask him why and what kind of answer is going to be good enough to jsutify his actions, not a single one. Just try to love your child and yourself and when you think about doing this alone, think about all the negative behaviors your child will learn with his constant presence. After all, do you want your child to grow up thinking that what he did was right so they in turn do it to someone else, or worse yet, they think its ok for the same thing to be done to them? You want your child to have an enormous sense of self worth and moral conscience that their father will NEVER have. You can give that to them just by taking one day at a time and not letting the ignorance of a selfish prick take away all of your value as a human being. I never leave my e-mail address, but if you want to talk to someone who is right there with you, feel free to contact me. andreasorg2003@yahoo.com
You are in my thoughts and remember, you are not alone...you have just been sidelined for a bit :)
2007-03-29 06:10:50 · answer #6 · answered by Keeper of Pandora's Box 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know this sounds terrible...but find a rebound...and yes, there are guys that will date a preg. girl and be serious about the relationship. A new person will help u get ur mind off of his sorry a**! Find all the support u can while ur preg..friends, family, whoever..to help u thru this time. Once u see ur baby, you'll see what a gift you have. Good Luck.
2007-03-25 18:06:15 · answer #7 · answered by SweetGin 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Have the baby and give it up to a loving couple. You then can start your life over again with a clean slate. Be careful not to believe all that you are told so quickly. Best of luck.
2007-03-29 16:26:23 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
wait... you got married after three months? i dont want you to feel worse but... why would you do that?! you at least have to know the guy more for about 2 years bc you hardly know nothing in a matter of three months....
2007-03-25 18:04:32 · answer #9 · answered by bob x 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Here are some tips that may help:
http://www.squidoo.com/advice-on-getting-over-a-broken-heart/
Good luck,
SJ
2007-03-25 22:20:44 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop being so self centered and focused on your own feelings. You have a kid to prepare to raise, and obviously the ex isnt man enough for the job. Worse things have happened to better people than you, so stop thinking you are so special and entitled to feelings of pity and self-defeat. Pick yourself up and get on with your responsibilities instead of screwing around online chatting.
2007-03-25 18:09:34 · answer #11 · answered by bla 1 · 0⤊ 5⤋