what am I to do now?

Question

my grown son was living with me and he got mad and cussed me out and called me some real bad names for the millionth time i slapped him and told him i never want to see his face again and kicked him out now everyone is shunning me when he started it and i finished it.im so tired of his disrespect.

i left out that this is the 6th time ive let him move back in and hes on drugs and wont work he just sleeps all day and runs around all night and uses me and his dad against each other until we argue which we never do when hes not here hes in and out of jail and is wanted by the police now for trying to beat up his pregnant ex-girlfriend.He is 21.

Answer 1

Well I can understand a mothers love, but having your grown son live at home really isnt right, unless he has some disabilty and cant live on his own. As far as him calling you names and disrespecting you he's not in the right. Mabe in the past you have given in to easily, and when you dont give him his way, he reacts this way, but inturn you should not have slapped him either. It sounds like he either needs some tuff love or talk to a councelor. Hitting or slapping someone dosnt make things better, just makes things worse. Sometimes it takes giving him a choice, and just walking away. The people who are shunning you were not there and dont know the truth, mabe he is telling a diff story to them to make you look bad. It sounds like he needs to talk to someone, go to therapy and learn to respect his mother.

Answer 2

First of all, since he is a grown-up, you should not have slapped him and said bad things back to him. YOU are supposed to be the ADULT and not act like a child having a tantrum. Throwing him out was, though, the proper thing to do. If your son treats you like that under your own roof, then he should be thrown out. However, you should have done it with calm reserve. You should have just told him to pack his stuff and leave. Sound like you both have issues to work out. Good Luck.

Answer 3

I say sometimes that kind of discipline is needed...but most times the best thing to do is to sit and talk, something that families have trouble doing...tell him what he did was wrong and that's why he got slapped (if he's young i mean)... and as for anyone else just ignore if you think you did the right thing but don't explain yourself to all of them...

Answer 4

So two wrongs make a right? He was wrong for treating you like that... But you acting just like him doesn't teach him anything...
Yelling and screaming wont solve anything... Once you've both had time to cool off talk more rationally... tell him what's bothering you... what needs to change in his behavior? what could you do better? figure out a way to get along better without so much conflict... talk about what bothers him about you, and visa versa...

Answer 5

I'm really sorry about what happened. the first thing that i would recommend you to do is pray to God. try reflecting with yourself. ask yourself, what did i do to make my son get so mad at me? and if you answer that question do the best action that you think will lessen the bad condition of your problem with your son.

Answer 6

I'm sorry to hear that. i just can say, that we can't change other people, we can only change ourselves. i wanna share about these words i've heard "Love your enemies, be kind to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who insult you" the first time i heard it was sound impossible, don't you think so? we just human who will hate anybody who hate us and do bad thing to us. but in God nothing is impossible ;-) good luck

Answer 7

Nothing you didnt do anything wrong your grown son needs to Grow up!!!

Answer 8

I certainly wouldn't put up with that in my own house.

Answer 9

YOU DONE THE RIGHT THING. WHENEVER THEY START TALKING LIKE THAT IT`S TIME TO LET THEM PAY THEIR OWN. TOUGH LOVE HAS TO SET IN.