my wife of almost 2 years told me she cheated when we was still dating. what should i do?

Question

she said it was bothering her and she had to tell me.

Answer 1

Wow shes a hoe. She should have told you before the two of you got married. If in fact she felt sooooo bad. Get rid of her.

Answer 2

I can't begin to tell you how sorry I am. This baby was yours in heart, mind and soul and she destroyed it. You still love this child as your own. I'd advise you to go back and try and work it out if that's what you want to do. If not then after your heart heals go on with your life and find someone new. Probably if you were to go back things between you and her and even the baby would never be the same. I doubt you could find it in your heart to forgive her 100%. She did a lot of betrayal to you. She was wrong to do what she did, but we all make mistakes and sometimes huge ones. You have to look deep inside yourself to see what you must do. If forgiveness isn't in your cards then you can't go back. You'll all be miserable in the end. However if you deeply love her and the child and don't want to live your life without them by all means work this out. It is what you feel and want. I am really sorry for all your pain. I hope you will have better days ahead and lots of love.

Answer 3

I don't know what sort of relationship you have with your wife at this point but i can understand you would be confused and disappointed right now. She must earn your trust now as this is serious in the sense that your marriage was sealed in a lie....(if you see it this way). She should have told you BEFORE you got married. May i suggest talking it through with her and perhaps getting an objective viewpoint from someone who is qualified to do so like a marriage counsellor. Good luck and i hope this all works out well for you.

Answer 4

Actually I don't think she had a moral obligation to tell you in that it really isn't cheating before you marry. Everyone needs to understand that cheating can only happen after you have vowed to be true forever...that's called marriage. But since she did tell you, she must love you very much to risk it all because she thought that much of your feelings to tell you something like that. Ya, know what I think?......I think she is telling you in so many words that although she may have experienced another man before she married you, she ended up choosing you to make that life long promise to. I would trust this woman....yep don't let her go...she is good people.....Good Luck!

Answer 5

Well, now that she got that off her chest, does she feel better? How do you feel about it? Can you forgive her because it happened before you were married or do you now wonder if she can be trusted at all? Do you wonder what else she may be hiding? If it really bothers you, get counseling.

Just wondering what prompted her confession to you now? I know she said it's been bothering her, but why now and not six months ago or a year?

Answer 6

When you were dating? Eh, well, such is life and really, it depends on how long you were dating for and how serious it was when she 'cheated'. If it was in the first 6 months to maybe a year of dating, big deal. If it was after a commitment to your relationship was made, you might have a problem there bud.

Answer 7

You need to think about it and decide to forgive her or not. If you forgive her you need to forget it and never bring it up. You also need to thing about if you trust her or not knowing this. Trust is one of the most important things in a marrage. Ofcourse it bugged her she cheated thats called guilt. Id want to know who it was, when it was and how many times. If it was a one time fly by night thing before you were serious then its not as bad as a ongoing thing with someone you both know

Answer 8

God this **** is good!

The real question is did she make four stupid mistakes

1 the cheat
2 hiding it then
3 not cleaning house before she got married
4 telling you now -- an intential hurt

or is she just a liar.

I'd walk, that is called misrepresentation of morals and the law allows for divorce/annumant on these grounds. Granted these punk kids will tell you to forget about it but human's are not put together that way. This will be with you for the rest of your life.

Answer 9

forgive her now because past is past and theres no point of getting angry now . you werent married then but you are now so just say i forgive you for that but if i ever find out that you do it again then we are through. after that i suggest that you forget about it, never think about it and never bring it up again. just pay a little more attention.dont let it ruin your marriage kay. she probably just wanted there to be no secrets between the two of you. she did how ever pick a strange time to reveal this. maybe she thought that if you knew you wouldnt marry her so with that thought its up to you on how you want to handle this i guess it depends how much you love her.

Answer 10

So? Who cares? You were only dating; you weren't married. Don't hold it over her or have any hard feelings. I don't know why she told you. That is what I would worry about. Maybe she is thinking about doing it again, and she is testing you to see how you react. You better freak out and make her feel like she is some kind of whore to make sure she never does it again.

Answer 11

Were you dating each other exclusively or engaged? Or was she free to date others because you hadn't asked her yet? That makes a big difference, but either way she is asking for your forgiveness. I see no long-term problem if she is faithful during your marriage. It's up to you. You need to decide if you love her enough to forgive her.