please help if u know wisconsin law?

Question

my ex-husband usually doesnt really participate in our childrens lives unless he wants something or his family tells him too. he has recently asked if he can have his mother drive our daughters half way to his house and have his girlfriend pick them up and drive then the rest of the way. he wants to do this because his father is coming up to visit him and he has never met our girls. his father is not a very safe person and did things that he shouldnt have while on meds like drink and smoke pot while he was visiting when his son and i got married. my ex told me that his father has been sober for the last 5 years which i know is a lie. my ex and his girlfriend went out and were drinking recently and they were in a really bad car accident where she received spinal injuries. she was driving and i know she was givin a rather large fine that she is unable to pay. since she is the one driving can i find out if her lisence is valid and if so how

this visit is on his weekend, but he has not seen or been around the kids in just over three months he has been calling a lot lately because he wants them he want something. it is stated in our divorce decree that he is not allowed to drink the day before or during visitation because of how our marriage ended. that does not stop anyone around him from drinking and there is no garauntee that he wont (hes a follower not a leader) it is also stated that his visitation must be at his mothers house, but because of him recently being arrested on a warrant while at her home and in front of our children he is not allowed to do that there and his father is not welcome there either. i have also moved from iowa to WI and many people have said our decree is no longer valid as is (true or not?) can i just tell him he cant have them that weekend because it doesnt follow the visitation order?

Answer 1

Why are you even asking this question? Common sense should tell you, you should not let your children in the car with these people, let alone send them off for an extended visit. If your ex drunk-pot-smokin' father-in-law really wants to see the kids, tell him you are more than happy to meet them all in a public place...like a kid-friendly restaurant that doesn't serve liquor...and go with them for the afternoon. Do you have a custody arrangement that says your ex has rights to see the kids at whim?? IF SO...then come up with an alternative transportation arrangement for the safety of your kids. IF NOT...TOUGH LUCK for your ex and his alcholic family.

After reading your new input - You do not have to comply with your divorce decree visitation rights since he would be in violation himself if he can not take them to his mother's home. End of story. DO NOT let your kids go with your ex. Tell him why, and if he is persistant, tell him he can come there to see them in a public place with you in tow. Otherwise, I would say forget it. Worse case scenerio, he would contact the law to enforce, but couldn't really do anything about it anyway since he would be in violation of the decree by not being able to visit them at the agreed upon place (His mother's house.) He is out of state and not in any position it sounds to be making any moves on his own. I would simply tell him no, tell him he is in violation of the decree, and until he can visit them at his mother's house, he has absolutely no visitation rights. The law would be on your side in any state if that was your agreement.

Answer 2

I wouldn't care if her license were valid or not. I would not want my children in the car with her driving. Your children are your responsibility, and they could be involved in a serious car accident also. How could you be guaranteed she wouldn't be driving impaired?

Answer 3

Additional Details:

The short answer is that you must follow your current court order, even though it is from a different state. It has to do with what is called the "Uniform Child Custody Act". All states have to follow the custody orders from other states. You can read about it here: http://www.legis.state.wi.us/rsb/Statutes.html. Scroll down to chapter 822.

It's probably not what you want to hear, but I don't think you can outright deny him the court ordered visitation time. You can't base your actions on "foreseen" and "assumed" court order violations on his part. All you can really do is prove in court that he DID violate the order, not that you assume he WILL. This is all after the fact - after he has already done it. Even then; the court will probably not remedy the situation by taking away his parental rights or visitations.

You are in a difficult situation. You really need to make sure that you don't do something that will look bad for you in court. It is unfortunate that many custodial parents are required, by court order, to send their children into less than ideal visitation situations. That's just how things are. It happens every day across the country.

If you know that the court order is being violated, because he is not allowed to be at his mother's house from an entirely different situation; then you really need to go back to family court. You are going to have to ask that the order be changed to reflect current circumstances (including the girlfriend's drunken accident). You could always request mediation services through the family court, so that the two of you can try and resolve the problems with a neutral third party involved.

You must seek out legal counsel. This is very complicated because of jurisdictional issues. While you get that started and until a court hears the case; I suggest that you try to work things out with your ex by talking to him. Tell him that you are concerned about the court order not being followed, because he can't take his visitation at his mother's house. Since he is not a very involved father; he may be willing to reach a compromise. Tell him what you would like the visitation situation to look like, and see if he'll agree to it. You must allow some sort of visitation to occur.

If he will not compromise by changing his plans, and you are sure he will violate the court order; take the police and the court order to where he is having his visitation (his home I assume). I'm not sure what the police can or will do, but you will at least have proof by way of a police report. This is going to require a lot of time on your part. You will actually have to follow him (without his knowledge) to find out where he is taking the kids, to be sure that he is not at his mother's house. Then you call the police non-emergency number to request assistance. Ask them to remove the children from the father. If they can't or won't do that; then ask them to at least file a report.

I'm not trying to seem unsympathetic. I know how hard it is to have your children be in a bad situation. You still have to go slow and not get hysterical (courts and police don't like that). Your kids will most likely be okay, even if visitation does not occur at his mother's house. I hope everything goes okay for all of you in the future. Good luck with everything. Lisa.
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You can check out the Wisconsin Circuit Court Access System here: http://wcca.wicourts.gov/index.xsl. That might show information about whether she was brought up on charges or not. Other than that; I don't think you can be given information about other people's driver's license status.

On a personal note; I would be very careful about becoming adversarial with your ex. If he ever decides to go back to family court; It could be very bad for you and your children, if you are perceived as not cooperating with him. I watched one of my best friends lose her three boys to her ex, when she went back to family court requesting that he be ordered to not drink around their children. The boys requested that she do this, because his drinking terrified them. Instead; the court did the exact opposite and worse possible thing ever, by forcing them to live with their abusive alcoholic father. My friend was perceived by the family court as trying to turn the children against their father. Perception is everything. You need to show that you've done everything possible to work with your ex, so that he could enjoy the company of his children whenever he wanted.

That was in Racine. The result probably wouldn't have been the same in Milwaukee or Madison. You don't want to ever lose control over the situation by having the kids given to him. That would be very harmful to them. It's not right that those kinds of things happen, but they do. I understand why you don't want your kids around his girlfriend or father. I wouldn't either. You should be commended for wanting to protect your children from potentially harmful situations. BUT; if you try to control what he does with the children when they are with him, it will look bad in family court.

I don't understand why your ex wants other people to deliver his children to him. For the safety of your children; please do the driving if you can. Or enlist the help of your family members to do some of the driving. Don't outright tell him that, "No, I'm not going to let your boozer girlfriend drive our children." Offer to do the driving if he can't. Make it seem like you're doing him a favor. Maybe something more like, "Oh hey, if you are having trouble making it here, I can drive them. No problem."

I hope this helps. Good luck. Lisa.

Answer 4

i think of the individuals of wisconsin are mad that Wisconsin regulation Enforcement affiliation decrease a backroom deal quite backdooring something of Wisconsin. -I additionally think of she drew the brief straw and had to take the autumn. i will work out all those little piggies squeeling interior the convention room, "guy they sho' are mad at us! who we gonna blame for our sweetheart deal?"