My stepdaughter is 8 years old, and I am having a difficult time accepting her just the way she is. How can I change? Why is it so easy to discipline her, or give her basic instructions that I "feel" she needs all the time. How can I love her just because...just for the sake of loving her. How can I really become her dad? Since her real one decided a long time ago not to give her the time of day. She's a beautiful little young woman....and all she wants is my love...simple and pure.
2007-03-25 17:29:39 · 6 answers · asked by tindale332 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Don't discipline so much as as explain why what she did is wrong & why she shouldn't do whatever. Ask her why she did whatever she did first, sometimes the reasons kids do stuff is so funny you can't stay mad at them anymore. Treat her like you want her to treat you, with respect if you respect her she will respect you. Treat her like she is your daughter, & she will become your daughter for all intents & purposes. Try every step of the way not to mistreat her in the slightest way.Do the best you can do, thats all you can do. Don't worry if its meant to be the love will come. My own stepdaughter has me listed as Mom in her cell phone & her mom is listed by her name. I love her like she was my own & at the beginning I would have never thought I would.She knows I have her back & she has mine.
2007-03-25 17:48:53 · answer #1 · answered by thepeacelover01 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
By posting this question and showing concern for her you are already leaning in the right direction. You sound very kind so I am sure that the love you are talking about will grow in time. Remember how much she needs you in her life. She needs a father and you are it. Remember that the impact you have on her life now will affect her the rest of her life. Try spending time with her doing things that she loves and introduce her to some activities that you enjoyed as a child.
2007-03-25 18:06:54 · answer #2 · answered by Tiffany L 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Huggs, and with every instruction or discipline or correction or praise... use the words, "I love you." A girl needs to hear "I love you" from her dad over and over. Never too much. I tell my stepkids, I love you over and over and over even when they're eating or cleaning out their ears. They need to hear it. They need to feel wanted. I'm not eggagerating, nor am I disqualifying anything else you can do for her. Just words and actions of love. That's what a girl needs from a dad. The words and the meaning behind the words. Really, there's not much more you should or can do.... just that.
2007-03-25 17:50:23 · answer #3 · answered by jennilaine777 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take your time both of you are getting to know each other and you will begin to accept each other as time passes. She is going to be distrustful of men because of her bio-dad not being in the picture but with time, patience, and love everything should work out. You ahve to try to accept her for the way she is at the same time as setting goals and rules that she can accomplish. Like I said before though, time, patience, and love. Wonderful qualities for any parent.
2007-03-25 17:40:56 · answer #4 · answered by heartcarver69 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Change, that is not what you need, that simple and pure love that she wants you have it, you wouldn't be asking the question if you didn't love her for who she is. Find a common ground and try to work with that first.
2007-03-25 17:41:38 · answer #5 · answered by Compa Migue 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well all girls need time to adjust to new fathers especially step fathers what you can do is ask her what does she like to do take her places she likes show her a good time and in time gradually she will come to know you as her dad and accept you and you Begin to accept her for the Young girl she is and show her you love her as well
2007-03-25 17:37:01 · answer #6 · answered by buzurkcats 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋