does life change after marriage?

Question

were u better off before gettin married or after? does it change a lot? Do we need to make lots of sacrfices n compromises? is it worth it?

Answer 1

Marriage is one thing and one thing only...commitment. I had to think at length and you asked very good questions.

I was definitely better off AFTER I got married then before. There were two of us TRYING to make some version of a family. We were not really sure how, but we attempted to talk about goals and how things should look, and like most women, I attempted to get meals cooked regularly, clean our house, and make "traditions" for our family if and when they were lacking in our home. Unlike moms of years before, I have pursued a high executive level career, luckily with support - sometimes - from my husband.

I took the things that my parents did that I liked, we added in what his parents did that he liked, and we made up new things that always happened the same way at the same time of year.

Every thing changes, and as soon as you get things down a life change throws a monkey wrench in it and you have to make adjustments. Both sets of parents are fighting over you during the holidays, children are born, careers take off at different times sometimes making one of the partners feeling inadequate, other people pursue spouses with the threat (or success) of infidelity. The amount of sacrifices and compromises and forgivemess that good spouses make is astronomical. It is a selfless caring relationship and works best when BOTH are equally sacrificing and compromising.

I do not know if it is worth it. That is a question you will have to answer for yourself. Most of the time I feel like it isn't and then the traditions of our family, the accomplishments of our children, one loving day together wipes it all away and then you remember why you have been working so hard for all of those years.

My husband and I have been together since we were 16 and 18, going on 17 years together. We are a very rare exception. We went to college at different times, grew our careers at different times, raised kids while he worked third shift so we would have benefits and one of us could always be with our children. Right now we are at two completely different stages in our lives and have no idea some days if we are just spinning our wheels, and for us that is OKAY.

We want to die together and assumed that it would take our entire lives of changes and sacrifices in order to accomplish that. There is one thing that I will say about marriage that is more important than anything.

That is that I believe a good spouse is one you are certain that you can depend on more than anything else. More than love, more than money, more than romance, and definitely more than sex and sparks and passion- anything.

Being positive that my husband would wake up at 3:00am and drive to get me a gallon of milk for no real reason other than it was important to me - assuming I was not abusing my request; being positive that my husband would change a dirty diaper or take my kids to the park to give me a break long before we ever had children; knowing no matter how awful the job, he would show up on time, and work hard to supply our family with the most stable income and benefits he could get based on his education and skill level - before I married - is why I married him.

Many people feel "love", "romance", and just someone being there are good reasons to stay in a relationship or marry.

So glad you are asking the world. Marriage is a commitment of sacrifices and compromises, but more importantly a lifetime goals of seeking peace, tranquility and common ground so each day counted. (That includes the days of no sacrifice, no compromise, opposite sides of the fence, no idea what you are doing or why you are married. There are many days like that as well.)

Marriage is the lifetime goal of seeking peace, tranquility and common ground with each other. Millions of married couples still haven't figured that one out yet. That is the goal.

Answer 2

Before you have kids, married life consists of just admiring each other. You enjoy each other's company and do fun things together. If you are in a good marriage, you are happy. Then a baby comes along and suddenly you two independent people, instead of marveling at each other all the time, become like a team. Not that it's ever parents vs. their children, but suddenly there is a baby who is all full of problems--hungry, wet, tired, crying a LOT. If you are in a good marriage, you and your spouse are able to tag-team and work together in an entirely new way which is designed to keep this new little invader happy and quiet. Instead of spending so much time looking at each other, you spend more time talking about how absolutely amazing your child is. You will be bound together in a whole new way, and hopefully facing the challenges of raising a child will make your relationship better. Advice--take advantage before children of your free time. Save money so you can buy a house or so one of you can afford to stay at home with the baby, if you want. Go out to dinner. Take a nice vacation. Stay in bed until noontime on the weekend. After kids, it will be a very long time until you are able to focus just on yourself again.

Answer 3

I would definitely say that life changes after marriage. After being married once and now going through another divorce, life definitely changes. The thing about marriage is when YOU decide to marry a person, it is imperative that you know that person as much as possible. I have learned in my short time of living that you can no longer just go off of people's words. Words no longer have bonds to them. Words no longer have weight to them. It must be proven to you. Although I am hurt about my situation, I have not given up on love. YOU just have to make sure that the person you marry is with you for the long haul no matter what because life does change. But imagine how good the changes would be if you had a person who loved you just as much as they loved themselves? Change is good and I still believe marriage is better.

Answer 4

Yes life changes a lot after marriage. I was better off before getting married, I didn't have to argue with another person about what I brought and where I went to. You sure do need to make a lot of sacrifices in compromises if you want to stay in a marriage. Is it worth your time it all depends if you want to live your whole life with this man and are you serious about the relationship.

Answer 5

Depends on who you marry, what they think the roles should be like after marriage, etc. Make sure you are on the same page before marriage and that is half the battle.

Things do change considerable after marriage, especially if certain people expect certain things afterwords.

ex. My husband, whom I love dearly... and married twice now, as soon as we say "I do", changes a bit into a male chauvinist. It is horrible on our marriage and has resulted in one divorce and extensive counseling this time around. We worked through it but it is hard.

If we divorce again, i am not getting remarried. There really is no reason. If it is not broken, don't try and fix it.. a piece of paper means nothing.... if you do take the plunge make sure you talk long and hard about EVERYTHING. Who will changed diapers, who will clean toilets, pay bills, stay home when kids are sick... everything you can think of, discuss so you know what you are in for.

Answer 6

Sure life changes after marriage but I feel strongly that it is for the better. My wife makes me a better person. If it was not for her my life would be pretty shallow and empty. I would be doing the same lame and indulgent stuff that I did in college. A compromise is not a sacrifice... you meet in the middle, or sometimes you give in, sometimes your partner does. As long as you share the same core values, the rest should not get overblown. I have a great wife, a good job, a nice home... do I love every color on every wall in our house? No. Does that matter to me? No. Does my wife like all of my hobbies and habits? No. We bend on the small stuff and work together to resolve the big stuff.What makes marriage work is by putting the needs of the other before your own... when you have two people who work together at their marriage it forms such a bond of strength, friendship, love, and trust... it is so worth it... Good luck to you.

Answer 7

life does change after marriage ,but it really depends on the person that you are with but its what you put into it if you both have your own place before marriage then some sacrfices may come into place then , but I think its truly worth it if you are with that right person. But one word of advice that a lot of women fall victim to NEVER get so comfortable in your marriage until you just let your self go thinking all hell we married now always keep you self the same as if you were when you guys first met as far as appearance sometimes I fell women get to comfortable which is a no no in my book

Answer 8

Yes and no.

We were lucky (or smart) enough to get to know one another well BEFORE we took the final step of marriage; thus, the ring, the license, the vows were but minor details. Our basic lives did not change. We did not experience any "big surprises" or "rude awakenings." Also, we were both fairly normal, fairly sane people without any additional neurotic emotional baggage.

In short, we were two people who could live together harmoniously.

One of the "benefits" for two people like us - who really enjoy our sex - was that we got to really know one another in detail; we shared our preferences, fetishes and fantasies. We learned how to push each other's hot buttons with skill and style.

Now, as regards "sacrifices and compromises," we also learned - as we grew and matured - how to sort the small $hit from the big $hit. Some stuff you just gotta let slide, and other stuff you have to be mature enough to deal with and negotiate in an intelligent and civil manner.

Hopefully, you develop a sense of sympathy and forgiveness for one another as simple human beings that aren't perfect and who are going to screw up on occasion. If you can't forigive, forget and move on with your life, you're in big trouble.

Holding someone's mistakes over their head indefinitely is just sick and evil.

So, is it "worth it?"

You bet it is.

Answer 9

im better off for getting married. i have some one i know will support me through anything even if he doesnt agree with me. neither one has had to make any great sacrafices but yeah there will be lots of compromise but if you are really in love you wont be upset about most of it. i think it definitly worth it. you have to work at it cause ppl change and grow and the relationship has to adapt with that but it is the best decision i ever made. besides having my daughter but she was a by product of the marriage thing.

Answer 10

Lots of sacrifices and compromises come with marriage. It is worth it, if you have found the right person. As you grow together and raise a family your expectations change and hopefully you both mature and grow together. Good luck.