My girlfriend and I have been together for nine months and today her best friend asked if I would care if they did something sexual. I said no because that would be cheating but she explained that since they are both female and friends with no interest in a relationship then it is not cheating. To me that sounds like a complete load of crap.
I'm bi and a monogamist, as is my girlfriend. My girlfriend has actually stated that she doesn't want to actually do anything because she isn't attracted much to the friend and also because she doesn't like the thought of cheating on me or vice versa.
Her friend is a polygamist and says that she has a boyfriend and a girlfriend at the same time quite often. She also has said that my views are, well no point since it would only be censored out.
So what do you guys think about cheating in terms of gender? I have my views but what are your's? Would you let your boy/girlfriend mess around with someone under certain conditions such as gender?
2007-03-25 16:50:01 · 9 answers · asked by Rageling 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
It sounds like a complete load of crap to me also. She's just trying to talk you into letting her get in your girlfriend's pants. I believe that if you're in a monogamous relationship then the gender of the "cheatee" has nothing to do with it. If my husband had sex with anyone else regardless of the other person's gender there would be a major problem. I think some bisexual people use this as a lame excuse. Some like to say that they "need" sexual contact with both genders. I think that's a crock and a lame excuse to cheat. I'm a straight woman. When I married my husband I made a commitment to him. I'm human. Of course I look at other men and may even fantasize about them at times but I remain faithful to my husband.
2007-03-26 04:34:04 · answer #1 · answered by DawnDavenport 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are correct. It's a complete load of crap.
Cheating is cheating....it doesn't matter what gender is doing the coupling.
And NO, I would not let a boyfriend mess around with anyone....which is pretty much why I am single!!
Your girlfriend's best friend sounds like trouble. Keep an eye on her.
2007-03-25 16:57:12 · answer #2 · answered by castle h 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Well, regardless of gender in a relationship, when there is some outside influence into an act which is central to the trust between two people, it cheapens the quality of the intimacy between the people in the relationship.
It destroys the trust and opens up the door for future mistrust, why bother with it?
I don't suppose that it's cheating if they tell you, but it really makes for a cheapened experience with the person who you thought was your girfriend/boyfriend.
2007-03-25 16:58:31 · answer #3 · answered by somewherein72 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well I don't agree, but I don't expect that answer to goover well with anyone else. I'm not polygamous...(though I could be convinced) or I never thought of myself that way before, but I have no qualms whatsoever about a gf being with another woman, and no I don't particularly need to watch or participate.
Of course, that's just me and that has nothing to do with anyone else. I'd say it's cheating when you feel like it is, and that's pretty much all anyone else needs to know. In this particular situation this so-called friend seems like more trouble than she's worth. I'd show her the door.
2007-03-25 17:28:53 · answer #4 · answered by Corestar 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Being a monogamist is the answer to this question. If that is the value you hold, and especially if your gf has the same value, then there IS NO QUESTION.
This has nothing to do with whether the 3rd party is a polygamist (although I think that refers to marriage) or not. Her values don't enter the equation of what you and your partner think is best for your relationship. Simple? yep! Tell the slut to go elsewhere for her orgies. haha
2007-03-25 16:58:22 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
i asked my boyfriend this the other day. (he was teasing me saying i was having a lesbian relationship with my friend - i'm not)
BUT, i said if he'd care if i cheated on him with a girl? he said yes, n i asked what about a guy, he said yes. He said both are the same.
I totally agree. cheatings cheating!!! Even tho she said she had no interest in relationship with your girlfriend, how many people that cheat - do it with only people they are interested in. Generally cheating is one night stands etc! And that doesn't make it right!
2007-03-25 17:02:50 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I THINK CHEATING IS SHAMEFUL AND HEARTLESS. ALSO WITH THE AMOUNT OF DISEASES GOING AROUND, WHY WOULD YOU EVEN WANT THAT? IF YOU'RE EVEN CONTEMPLATING CHEATING ON YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER, THEN WHY NOT JUST DUMP THEM AND CONSIDER YOURSELF SINGLE, AND HAVE SEX WITH WHOEVER YOU WANT? THAT WAY, THERE ARE NO STRINGS ATTACHED. CHEATING TO ME IS NOT GENDER SPECIFIC, IT IS WHAT IT IS! GIRL STAY STRONG, IT'S GREAT THAT YOU'RE A MONOGAMIST.
2007-03-26 05:14:45 · answer #7 · answered by graciefaith1 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's cheating. Cheating is mostly a state of mind.
2007-03-25 18:51:05 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, cheating is cheating it doesn't matter the sex of the person
2007-03-25 17:01:37 · answer #9 · answered by Richard 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋