my husband just told me that when his and his siser where little he had sex with her. i think he said when they where 7 or 8 i am freaked out.. what should i do? he said he was young and didnt understand and all his parents did was tell him it could have hurt her.. I am so freaked out what should I do...his sister has never brought it up she is about 3 years youner then him!
2007-03-25 16:47:21 · 17 answers · asked by Penny C 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You had so many answers already I wasn't going to respond!
But the one thing I didn't see was anybody saying he was 7 he shouldn't have known anything about sex! where did he learn it from?? Most likely it was done to him! So you have to ask.!!!!!
a lot of molested children become molesters them selves!! So be careful and watch for warning signs!! Always follow you gut! If you feel something is wrong is probably is!
Good luck!!
2007-03-26 03:59:53 · answer #1 · answered by gibbygirl38 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He was 7 and his sister was 4? Well That's really young and I'm sure he felt awful that it happen. My question would be where did he learn the behavior from? Did something like that happen to him and that's the reason he was trying to perform the acts on his sister? Try not to condemn him, he was just a child and didn't know any better. In my child development classes I read those acts happen a lot in large families. Kids are curious.
2007-03-25 23:58:42 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I doubt that at the age of 7 or 8 anyone was having actual sex. They may have tried but you know it was probably not really possible. Everyone has something in their past that they are not proud of. It's no big deal. There's no need to mention it to your sister-in-law. It would only embarrass her. Just let it die down. I can't imagine why your husband felt he had to tell you this. What good did it do?
2007-03-26 00:05:28 · answer #3 · answered by cactus bloom 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would want to ask more questions about the situation. This happened to me but it did not stop at 7. It continued until I was 15 and became violent in nature. I do forgive my brother but I have a hard time being around him. I would definitly want more information from my husband if he told me something like that. My brother will only admit to the family that it happened one time and has not yet been able to forgive himself which has caused him other problems. It is a very touchy situation
2007-03-25 23:55:30 · answer #4 · answered by Justme 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it's normal for kids to experiment. He was so young he obviously didn't know what he was doing and probably couldn't have completed it anyway. I think it's great he is that honest with you , and you need to realize that experimenting is normal for 7. Masterbation is also. If you have kids you may want to do a lot of reading so you know how to handle the situations as they arise.
2007-03-25 23:51:48 · answer #5 · answered by dana j 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm sure this is like a kick in the stomach to you, but he was a little boy and obviously didn't have the greatest home life. Don't hold what he did as a child against him. He probably feels terribly guilty about this and told you because he needs your support and understanding. He needs to know that you love him and that he is not a bad person for what he did as a child. Don't worry about his sister. You're not married to her, number one, and number two, she probably doesn't remember what happened. Both your husband and his sister are victims in this situation, and it's their parents who should have protected them and nurtured them.
2007-03-25 23:55:06 · answer #6 · answered by No Shortage 7 · 2⤊ 2⤋
He was little, and probably now is mortified at what happened. He probably feels awful and needed to get it out. Support him, maybe get him some counseling to help him deal with his guilt, and cut him a break if he shows no other signs of bizarre behavior. Good luck.
2007-03-25 23:52:04 · answer #7 · answered by Paul 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
sweetie when kids are young they do experiment and not trying to hurt each other.they just explore and do what they see adults do.you shouldn't blame him or her for this and don't think that he is a pervert or anything because he's not he was just a young boy playing follow the leader.
2007-03-26 00:32:25 · answer #8 · answered by marcelleaandbryan 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
my ex husband did the same thing and honestly i was dumb for ever marrying him when God gives you warning sighns take them. I never thought my husband would really do anything to my daughter but i always had that little part of me that would never let them be alone and it made me a prisoner to protecting her and i didn't have a normal life after those words rand in my ears thankGod nothing happened to my daughter we divorced she was very young but i suggest you don't get involved with him any deeper. A man that has no boundaries you will always worry in the back of your mind about lots of things. Do yourself a favor stop kidding yourself and making yourself think you love him. Find a man you can trust better or be alone because if something does happend to you or your children it will be your fault after all you were warned don't take it so lightly Godbless you.
2007-03-26 00:01:05 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 4⤋
Don't be freaked out.It need's to be discussed by the two of you more thourghly and you may need to talk to a professional to know how to deal.
2007-03-26 00:06:03 · answer #10 · answered by flossie mae 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋