I am a bisexual woman who is in love with her bestfriend who is also female. We have known each other for four years, and spend most of our free time together. She knows I am bisexual and she has admited to being curious. We are quite similar but different as well, we understand each other. We have both been single for over 6 months, though I have been in love with her for years. I can't imagine my life without her, I want to grow old with her, no matter how cliche. She is exceptionally beautiful, funny, sarcastic, and a little bit wild, and I feel drab compared to her. She is my world. I don't know if she loves me back, and I am too afraid of losing her by telling her my feelings. I need her in my life, and if that means remaining her friend and never telling her, so be it. So my question is this: should I tell her and take the risk of happiness/damnation, or should I remain her friend and forever be plagued by "what if"?
2007-03-25 16:45:02 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I don't think she is completely blind to the fact that you are attracted to her. I am 100% certain that she knows that you love her; however, I am not certain if she knows that you are in love with her. She knows that you are bisexual but that does not seem to worry her which is a good sign. Nevertheless, if you don't tell her, it will haunt you for years to come. If you do tell her, you run the risk of making her uncomfortable.
At this point, since your feelings for her are so intense that it is highly unlikely that you can just stay friends. If you two do stay friends after confessing your love, how will you deal with the fact that she may grow old with someone else? How will you find your true love if you are still around her 24/7 because you are still emotionally invested in her?
As in love, the big question always lies in how the other person will reciprocate your feelings. My suggestion is tell her how you feel but start with a smaller picture. Don't tell her that you're completely and utterly in love with her. Just ask her how she feels about you and the friendship....and how she would feel about taking it a step further. Good luck!
2007-03-25 16:57:26 · answer #1 · answered by Ana 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you are feeling this strongly and you spend so much time together anyway, find a comfortable time when the two of you are alone together and tell her first about being so beautiful, funny,etc and how much you love spending time with her. Then discuss if she really does think she could be interested in another woman or however you are comfortable bringing it up. Complement her honestly and sincerely every step of the way.
Then maybe that time or maybe the next time you talk privately, tell her how you feel. Also, explain that if something more like a relationship between you works out, great but if it is indeed just this great friendship, that you are totally thrilled to have that, but you just need to ask.
I can't imagine living with that "what if". I got together with my current partner of almost 10 years and I was not sure about her but when I asked she confirmed that she preferred women and was, indeed, interested in me.
How long can you live not knowing??
2007-03-25 16:56:30 · answer #2 · answered by Cindy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depends on her, if I were her this would scare the $h|T out of me to be honest. But if she is bi-curious you may have a chance. I advise you to try to extend your world outside of her get some hobbies, make some other friends so that if you do decide to confess this to her you wont loose everything. It sounds like you may be more infactuated with her than in love with her there is a difference. I would look inside yourself and see if the risk out weigh the benefits.
2007-03-25 16:51:43 · answer #3 · answered by angela 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe this calls for a drunken sleepover. Maybe go to a horney movie first. Try on some different nighties and talk about what ones make each of you look the hottest. Talk about how clumbsy and incompetent men are with a woman't body. Then maybe you show each other some of the things that turns you on.
2007-03-25 16:58:35 · answer #4 · answered by sol_s_99 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont quite understand,because what is wrong with being friends without sex?Friends can remain in your life forever!!You can grow old together.Havent you ever seen Fried green tomatoes?Sex is great BUT it is so temporary.It is just the icing on the cake.The friendship is the cake!
2007-03-25 16:51:53 · answer #5 · answered by april showers 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
life is full or risks if she is ur true friend she should always be there. I would kinda bring it up as what if i liked u would that ruin our friendship or would u want to try things out, so who best not to do it with but your best friend.
2007-03-25 16:51:48 · answer #6 · answered by givemesum 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should tell her you like her, but dont tell her you love her, you might scare her, tone it down a bit. Try to feel her out and see what she thinks about you.
2007-03-25 16:48:37 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
hmmm hard question, its never wrong to tell someone you love them. everyone wants to be loved, so how bad could it be to tell her, even if she does not feel the same way at least you will know and can move on.
2007-03-25 16:51:12 · answer #8 · answered by confused 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you love her take the chance.....that way at least you know and you could still be friends
if she loves you back CONGRATS!
i told a guy i liked him and he hasnt said anything like at all so im a little scared so apparently we're in the same boat
2007-03-25 16:52:09 · answer #9 · answered by SamC-akaCaysynn 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell her how you feel cause you never know when it is to late to tell her your feelings being honest with her about you want to be with her and how you feel about her may shock her but she should understand cause ya ll have been friends to long to let something like telling her how you feel interrupt or mess ya ll friendship up
2007-03-25 16:53:33 · answer #10 · answered by mspinkston1 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋