Why do others like to see others fail and not get ahead in life?

Question

They may not verbally say it, but people think and feel it inside. They actually feel better if say the thier friend or co-worker didn't get that promotion or thier relationship fell apart. Even though these people seem like good people they are bitter when good things happen for someone else? Is it competetion?

Answer 1

Because it is human nature to let your traits survive and overcome others. The carnal and raw nature of our being causes us to be this way. Our experiences and upbringing affects the way we handle this instinct.

Answer 2

sorry, but these are the facts of life. the way that society has grown up is made so that people would rather have themselves get ahead and others fail. this has a lot to do because many people living in the US are from 3rd world countries and Asia. Over there, they are raised in an environment in which they have to be the best of the best to get ahead and come to the US. When someone else in there school or workplace excels, jelousy is brought up with much more anger in it than normal. The people feel this way because they believe they are the best after all their hard work. So the people basically grow up into angry, egocentric people. Now they might not show it, but they are.

also like amp said, people with low self-esteem like to see others fail because it makes them feel good.
i.e. i made the tennis team and i act retarded so i can make them feel like they arent nobody's. Sadly, my friends are destroying their own self-esteem because their parents and themselves keep reminding them what ive accomplished, which brings about the liking to see failer in me.

I personally would like to see people match with me considering my friends are lower than me. I like the feeling that the world is getting better and not just the minority.

Answer 3

Its sad isnt it? Its jealousy and spite. Most if not all people have this feeling like they are inadequate and need to be at top. If someone else is doing better then you then you are not the best. And everyone wants to do and be the best. So even though you might not be competitive and you might cheer your friend on...deep inside you hope they do not do better then you

Answer 4

Jealousy stems from competitiveness & insecurity. There is a saying that goes: it is not only important for us to succeed, we must also see our friends fail. If you don't feel good about yourself then seeing others doing badly will make you feel a little better. If you compare yourself to others & come up short, you'll feel badly, but if they are on the losing end you'll feel a little better.

But here's the secret to happiness:

Be happy with yourself! Love yourself! You are not in a competition with the world. Do your best & don't compare yourself to anyone else. There will always be someone better or worse. When you are confident in yourself then you don't need others around you to fail, in fact you can be happy for them in their successes & be inspired to achieve success in your own dreams.

It can be very hard to do for some of us. I went much of my life being insecure & negative. I constantly compared myself to others & felt that I came up short. I was a middle child & never felt loved or appreciated. I knocked myself out to be the best (a good kid, never got in trouble, never smoked, drank or did drugs, was a straight A award-winning student etc) and still never felt good enough. I finally realized I have to cut myself some slack. I have value as a person for who I am, not for what I have or what I do. Everyone is unique & valuable. It is unhealthy to compare & jealousy just eats you up inside.

Life is not a competition. Compete only with yourself & do your best. Love yourself regardless. Once you achieve this then you will love others & not have to beat them in every aspect of life. It's not a race.

In some ways being competitive did help to make me a good student. When you are in a race or sporting event then obviously competitiveness will help your game. But you can't treat your whole life like a game & view everyone as competition or you make yourself miserable.

Answer 5

We don't judge the ones we love. For those people, we feel sad when bad things happen to them. For the ones that don't fall into the category of love without judgment, we feel relieved that bad things didn't happen to us and happened to them instead. And because it happened to them, we must be in a better position in life, and indulge ourselves as a result of circumstances.

However, people who love everyone have realized that they are more or less made out of the same thing.

Answer 6

People are intimidated by the success of others sometimes, it may magnify our own failures/deficiencies (misery loves company) and it can also be just plain ol' jealousy. some people are just naturally negative and some people have been hurt and turn bitter. some people thrive on drama. many reasons but none justify it.

Answer 7

Apparently it's funny to some. But for the most part, people don't believe in abundance. They believe there is lack and that things require rationing, thus the fear spreads that negative vibration that destroys all things.

Answer 8

because it makes some people feel less like a loser. like some people feel that the more others fail the more they are less of a loser b/c if everyone is a loser then they are not a loser anymore and if enough people fail they are no longer a loser but more of a winner compared to others. like if you thought everyone were ugly and if you dont think you are ugly then you are pretty.

Answer 9

Survival of the fittest. It is in our nature to want to be smarter, faster, stronger. It may not be a consious decision, but it is in us. A motive to maximize reproductive fitness.

Answer 10

It's not competition, except in the worst possible context. Basically, they hate it when others exceed them because they can't feel any pleasure, happiness or pride in their own accomplishments.